How to Act Like You Didn't Fart
Don't react to it., Go about your business., Cast aspersions., Blame the dog.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don't react to it.
This is rule number
1.
The surest way to let everyone know it was you is to immediately look worried or ashamed.
If you're around others and one gets loose, don't overreact—in fact, don't react at all.
This is the opposite of what most people do when they accidentally leak one, so a strong display of ignorance will point people's suspicions another way.
If the fart is too loud or smells too bad to realistically ignore, you may have to orchestrate an escape plan.
Look perplexed, create a distraction and get out of there. -
Step 2: Go about your business.
Not only should you not look embarrassed if you accidentally fart, you should carry on with whatever activity you were seeing to as though nothing happened.
If you don't actively "pause" the moment by showing surprise, others may not notice at all, and if they do, they'll probably have the dignity not to question who the culprit was.It's not uncommon to detect strange noises without knowing the source, and there will be no reason for anyone to assume that the sound they heard was a fart, or that it came from you in particular. , Maybe you've successfully stifled a violent eruption, but the stench is starting to creep in: what now? Don't quietly accept the blame.
Look around and feign disgust or confusion to let everyone know it could have been any one of them.
Most people will be too concerned about others thinking they did it to be motivated to get to the bottom of things.
Be sure not to directly accuse a particular person of the indiscretion.
Since you're trying to sidestep embarrassment yourself, pinning it on someone else is a dishonorable move.
Some light laughter can help alleviate the awkwardness of the situation whether others suspect it was you or not. , If it isn't broken, why fix it? Just blame the dog, if there happens to be one around, for an especially offensive intestinal assault.
The dog won't mind.
They're used to being guilty of this kind of thing.
Babies also make sterling scapegoats for the more experienced fart-hider—some might even find it cute if they think it was the innocent, artless newborn, never knowing that it was actually you, praying that you don't need a diaper change of your own.You'll need to stick pretty close to the dog if you want this tactic to be convincing.
People will eventually catch on if they keep getting musky whiffs while Fido is all the way across the living room. -
Step 3: Cast aspersions.
-
Step 4: Blame the dog.
Detailed Guide
This is rule number
1.
The surest way to let everyone know it was you is to immediately look worried or ashamed.
If you're around others and one gets loose, don't overreact—in fact, don't react at all.
This is the opposite of what most people do when they accidentally leak one, so a strong display of ignorance will point people's suspicions another way.
If the fart is too loud or smells too bad to realistically ignore, you may have to orchestrate an escape plan.
Look perplexed, create a distraction and get out of there.
Not only should you not look embarrassed if you accidentally fart, you should carry on with whatever activity you were seeing to as though nothing happened.
If you don't actively "pause" the moment by showing surprise, others may not notice at all, and if they do, they'll probably have the dignity not to question who the culprit was.It's not uncommon to detect strange noises without knowing the source, and there will be no reason for anyone to assume that the sound they heard was a fart, or that it came from you in particular. , Maybe you've successfully stifled a violent eruption, but the stench is starting to creep in: what now? Don't quietly accept the blame.
Look around and feign disgust or confusion to let everyone know it could have been any one of them.
Most people will be too concerned about others thinking they did it to be motivated to get to the bottom of things.
Be sure not to directly accuse a particular person of the indiscretion.
Since you're trying to sidestep embarrassment yourself, pinning it on someone else is a dishonorable move.
Some light laughter can help alleviate the awkwardness of the situation whether others suspect it was you or not. , If it isn't broken, why fix it? Just blame the dog, if there happens to be one around, for an especially offensive intestinal assault.
The dog won't mind.
They're used to being guilty of this kind of thing.
Babies also make sterling scapegoats for the more experienced fart-hider—some might even find it cute if they think it was the innocent, artless newborn, never knowing that it was actually you, praying that you don't need a diaper change of your own.You'll need to stick pretty close to the dog if you want this tactic to be convincing.
People will eventually catch on if they keep getting musky whiffs while Fido is all the way across the living room.
About the Author
Heather Hughes
Heather Hughes has dedicated 3 years to mastering lifestyle and practical guides. As a content creator, Heather focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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