How to Act When Your Significant Other Finds Out You Self Harm

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Find a quiet

   You should try talking to your significant other about your self harm habits face to face, preferably in a quiet, private spot.
   
   This may be at your home or the home you share together in a neutral spot, such as the kitchen or the living room.
   
   You may also talk to your significant other in a place that you both like to go to together, such as a park near your home or a quiet spot outdoors.
   
   Pick a place where both you and your partner will feel comfortable and safe.You may say to your significant other, “Can we talk about my self harm? Let’s go to a private place and talk.”
2. 2

   Step 2: private place to talk.

   Begin the conversation by telling your significant other why you self harm, as best you can.
   
   You may not know exactly why or understand the root cause of your behavior.
   
   Think about how self harming makes you feel and any possible triggers for your behavior.
   
   Use “I” statements when you explain why you self harm to your partner and try to be as honest as you can.People self harm for a variety of reasons, such as trauma like physical or sexual abuse or the death of a loved one.
   
   Social issues like bullying and psychological issues like an eating disorder can also lead to self harm.
   
   You may or may not identify with these reasons as someone who self harms.
   
   For example, you may tell your significant other, “I self harm because it makes me forget my trauma” or “It may seem strange to you, but self harm makes me feel better, even if it's only for a moment.” , Your significant other will likely have questions about your tendency to self harm.
   
   Try to answer their questions as best you can.
   
   Being honest with your partner will help them better understand where your behavior is coming from.
   
   It will also allow them to feel you can both talk about the issue together.They may have questions like, “Why do you self harm? How long have you been doing it? How does it help? How can I help? Why don’t you just stop?” Use “I” statements and be as honest as you can when answering your significant other’s questions.
   
   The conversation may be difficult for both of you so take your time and be patient with each other.
   
   If your significant other asks you a question that you can't answer, it's okay to respond, "I don't know." No one has all of the answers, so don't try to force yourself to give one. , Your significant other may be upset when they find out you self harm.
   
   They may react with anger or fear, even after you answer their questions about why you self harm.
   
   Be calm and patient with your partner.
   
   Reassure them that you are aware of the issue and that you appreciate their concern.
   
   Tell them that you are being honest with them about your tendency to self harm because you would like their support and understanding.
   
   For example, you may say to your partner, "I know this news may upset you or make you angry, but I need you to try to understand where I am coming from" or "Please don't pull away from me, I need your support more than ever."
   
   At the end of the conversation, you and your partner should feel more trusting and honest with each other.
   
   Make a promise to each other to stay open and keep communication going between the both of you.
   
   You may end up having many more of these conversations moving forward, especially if you continue to self harm.
   
   Try to work as a team on the issue.
   
   For example, you may tell your significant other, “Moving forward, let’s promise to be honest and open with each other.
   
   I want us to be able to talk about my tendency to self harm and how if affects our relationship.”
3. 3

   Step 3: Explain why you self harm.

4. 4

   Step 4: Answer any questions your significant other might have.

5. 5

   Step 5: Respond calmly if your partner gets angry or fearful.

6. 6

   Step 6: Stay open and honest with your significant other moving forward.

Detailed Guide

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