How to Admit Mistakes
Consider your feelings when you make a mistake., Re-envision your idea of what it means to make mistakes., Own your mistakes., Make amends., Accept your behavior but don't put yourself down., Learn to move on., Strive for excellence.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Consider your feelings when you make a mistake.
If you're a perfectionist or someone with an overactive internal critic, making mistakes can absolutely terrify you and cause you to believe that you have to cover them up or foist the blame elsewhere.
Yet, these actions cause their own problems and end up making the mistake worse or even have greater ramifications than had you faced the mistake openly.
If any of the following responses apply to you, then you definitely need to practice the suggestions in the remainder of the article:
When you make a mistake, your internal critic goes into overdrive, faulting everything you do and making the whole mistake seem much worse than it actually is.
You think purely in negatives about the mistake.
Following a mistake, you tend to put yourself down, calling yourself stupid, clueless, dumb and hopeless.
You may even convince yourself that "I'll never get this right"
thereby barring any possibility of learning.
Mistakes in any area cause you to cease to trust your own ideas or thoughts in that area and to second-guess the things you do and decisions or choices you make.
You tell yourself that the mistake "must never happen again"
treating the past as a warning to the future that stifles growth and innovation, causing you to stop taking reasonable risks to further your career, studies, life plans, etc.
Soon, you're an irritable hermit who repeats only the actions that you know won't result in "mistakes".
Your idea of "mistake" is warped.
You treat even the smallest slip-up, like forgetting to make your lover a cup of tea one morning or not spell checking a document once in a while, as major catastrophes in letting down others. , First up, mistakes are going to happen and they're going to keep happening even after you've "learned your lesson".
Life is very generous with mistakes, just as it's very generous with learning opportunities, love and chance of fulfillment if you choose to take them.
Second, mistakes teach us what we're capable of through showing us what doesn't work.
Remember Edison's 10,000 attempts at getting a light bulb to work when you feel like calling your efforts a mistake.
Third, quite a large number of mistakes have resulted in creations and inventions of a scientific, business, architectural, creative, or other nature.
Indeed, mistakes can even reveal breakthroughs in self-understanding.
Mistakes have their place in life. , One of the best and most effective responses to making a mistake is to take responsibility for having made it, especially where it upsets, harms or disturbs other people.
And owning your mistakes is also good for mistakes that simply bother your own sense of who you are striving to be, so as to avoid the blame game.
Don't try to run away from the mistake or it will continue to chase you. , This isn't as hard as it seems unless pride is holding you back.
See the second part of this article below for how to admit a mistake to a particular person.
See How to make amends for further reading on this specific topic. , Instead of calling yourself a whole bunch of negative names, realize that while you could have done better/differently/more considerately than you did, perhaps mitigating factors such as tiredness, hunger, a sense of urgency, a desire to please, etc. overtook your more balanced self.
Concentrate on how to deal with the underlying reason rather than on belittling your whole self.
For example, you could tell yourself something like: "In future, I could ensure I've eaten/slept/got hold of all the facts/called a friend, etc. before making a difficult decision/reaching a conclusion/creating the work, etc."
Looking back is for people mired in negative thinking about the past.
You can't change the past but you can live more consciously in the present.
Learn from the mistake but cease to dwell on it.
Next time there's a mistake, this learning will allow your perception to see things very differently. , Many people unable to admit to mistakes suffer from a strive for "perfection".
Striving for perfection will see you mired in mistakes all your life, bogged down by error after glaring error and feeling demoralized all the time.
Instead, focus on striving for excellence while allowing yourself to be the imperfect being you are.
You don't have to be the best at everything.
You don't have to be the brightest, bubbliest, prettiest, best-dressed person in the room.
If you think you do need to be the best, you will be self-absorbed about your flaws and almost everything you do and every way you are will be a mistake in your own eyes.
You are perfect the way you are, a competent being who continues to be open to learning and continuous growth. -
Step 2: Re-envision your idea of what it means to make mistakes.
-
Step 3: Own your mistakes.
-
Step 4: Make amends.
-
Step 5: Accept your behavior but don't put yourself down.
-
Step 6: Learn to move on.
-
Step 7: Strive for excellence.
Detailed Guide
If you're a perfectionist or someone with an overactive internal critic, making mistakes can absolutely terrify you and cause you to believe that you have to cover them up or foist the blame elsewhere.
Yet, these actions cause their own problems and end up making the mistake worse or even have greater ramifications than had you faced the mistake openly.
If any of the following responses apply to you, then you definitely need to practice the suggestions in the remainder of the article:
When you make a mistake, your internal critic goes into overdrive, faulting everything you do and making the whole mistake seem much worse than it actually is.
You think purely in negatives about the mistake.
Following a mistake, you tend to put yourself down, calling yourself stupid, clueless, dumb and hopeless.
You may even convince yourself that "I'll never get this right"
thereby barring any possibility of learning.
Mistakes in any area cause you to cease to trust your own ideas or thoughts in that area and to second-guess the things you do and decisions or choices you make.
You tell yourself that the mistake "must never happen again"
treating the past as a warning to the future that stifles growth and innovation, causing you to stop taking reasonable risks to further your career, studies, life plans, etc.
Soon, you're an irritable hermit who repeats only the actions that you know won't result in "mistakes".
Your idea of "mistake" is warped.
You treat even the smallest slip-up, like forgetting to make your lover a cup of tea one morning or not spell checking a document once in a while, as major catastrophes in letting down others. , First up, mistakes are going to happen and they're going to keep happening even after you've "learned your lesson".
Life is very generous with mistakes, just as it's very generous with learning opportunities, love and chance of fulfillment if you choose to take them.
Second, mistakes teach us what we're capable of through showing us what doesn't work.
Remember Edison's 10,000 attempts at getting a light bulb to work when you feel like calling your efforts a mistake.
Third, quite a large number of mistakes have resulted in creations and inventions of a scientific, business, architectural, creative, or other nature.
Indeed, mistakes can even reveal breakthroughs in self-understanding.
Mistakes have their place in life. , One of the best and most effective responses to making a mistake is to take responsibility for having made it, especially where it upsets, harms or disturbs other people.
And owning your mistakes is also good for mistakes that simply bother your own sense of who you are striving to be, so as to avoid the blame game.
Don't try to run away from the mistake or it will continue to chase you. , This isn't as hard as it seems unless pride is holding you back.
See the second part of this article below for how to admit a mistake to a particular person.
See How to make amends for further reading on this specific topic. , Instead of calling yourself a whole bunch of negative names, realize that while you could have done better/differently/more considerately than you did, perhaps mitigating factors such as tiredness, hunger, a sense of urgency, a desire to please, etc. overtook your more balanced self.
Concentrate on how to deal with the underlying reason rather than on belittling your whole self.
For example, you could tell yourself something like: "In future, I could ensure I've eaten/slept/got hold of all the facts/called a friend, etc. before making a difficult decision/reaching a conclusion/creating the work, etc."
Looking back is for people mired in negative thinking about the past.
You can't change the past but you can live more consciously in the present.
Learn from the mistake but cease to dwell on it.
Next time there's a mistake, this learning will allow your perception to see things very differently. , Many people unable to admit to mistakes suffer from a strive for "perfection".
Striving for perfection will see you mired in mistakes all your life, bogged down by error after glaring error and feeling demoralized all the time.
Instead, focus on striving for excellence while allowing yourself to be the imperfect being you are.
You don't have to be the best at everything.
You don't have to be the brightest, bubbliest, prettiest, best-dressed person in the room.
If you think you do need to be the best, you will be self-absorbed about your flaws and almost everything you do and every way you are will be a mistake in your own eyes.
You are perfect the way you are, a competent being who continues to be open to learning and continuous growth.
About the Author
Karen Carter
Writer and educator with a focus on practical lifestyle knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: