How to Attract Good Men
Start with nice friends., Avoid the places you're looking now., Try charity events., Try your work., Try church., Try asking friends., Respect yourself., Be confident., Take initiative., Take things slow., Be yourself., Get your priorities...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Start with nice friends.
Surrounding yourself with quality people is a good start towards finding a great guy.
Don't tolerate any of the bad behavior in your friend group that you wouldn't want to see in a significant other.
This makes you more likely to turn a friendship into a good relationship, or to meet good people that are friends with other good (and totally single) guys. -
Step 2: Avoid the places you're looking now.
If you're using a combination of bars and Craigslist, that's your main problem.
Stop.
Most of the "usual" places are where you're likely to find the most losers.
Also: weddings, clubs, parties, the gym, etc.
All those places where guys know you'll be looking for love.
If you stick to the usual spots, you'll be more likely to meet guys looking to take advantage of you. , Guys are much less likely to be looking to meet someone at charity events but such places are highly likely to attract guys with their priorities in the right place.
Surprise a guy by sweeping him off his feet when he least expects it. , A good portion of coupes meet at work.
This is another place where guys will not come to prey, so you're know that you're probably safe.
It's also a lot easier to gauge who's single! , Well, of course, any place of worship will do.
Exercise your spiritual side and invite the opportunity to meet a guy with his heart in the right place and with similar morals and ideas to you.
If you're not the bible-thumping type, there are lots of churches with more laid-back attitudes that focus on inspiration and practical moral guidance. , It seems silly, but just ask your friends for help.
Ask them to set you up.
Your social circle may have been milked dry, but all your friends know more people than just you.
You may be surprised by what they can come up with. , This is the most important part of finding a good guy.
You HAVE to respect yourself.
You have to believe that you deserve a good guy (and you do, so that shouldn't be too hard).
Stop beating yourself up.
Stop allowing people to walk all over you.
Stand up for yourself and do the things that make you happy.
And stop apologizing for wanting things.
This means dressing nicely as well.
You should dress like you want to be respected and taken seriously.
Don't wear anything too tight or revealing.
Wear something that would be good for going out to a nice lunch or dinner with your parents.
At work, dress like you intend to be the next manager. , Bad guys are looking for those that doubt themselves.
That think they aren't worth as much because they're "fat" or "ugly" or "poor".
Don't ever let anyone think you see yourself as less.
Be confident.
Speak your mind.
Don't apologize.
Avoid seeming shy.
It doesn't have to be real, of course: for most people it's just an act. , Don't wait for Prince Charming to come to you.
Get out there and find him.
Ask guys out on dates.
The nice ones, the actually nice ones, tend to be shy or inexperienced and may need a little help getting started.
Try, for example, "If you ask me to go with you to that new art exhibit opening this weekend, I wouldn't say no."
Being too quick to jump into bed with a guy tends to tell them that you're desperate and they don't have to try as hard.
Make them realize that you, like them, are worth putting in some effort for. , Pretending to be what you think guys want is just going to attract guys that are looking for all the wrong things.
If you just get out there and be yourself, you'll attract a guy that's looking for you. , If you're putting an emphasis on guys that look super hot instead of guys that work hard and treat you right, you're going to have a rough time.
Make sure you recognize what's really important and you'll be finding great guys before you know it., Guys will live up to the standards you set for them.
If you don't tolerate poor behavior and disrespect, then you won't see any more of it.
If a guy does something that upsets you, say so.
If he's being a jerk, stand up for yourself. , Or, really, any of the women in his life.
Get him to talk about them.
If he clearly loves and respects them, that's a good sign. , If he's nice to other people, that's also a good sign of what you can expect towards you.
Especially pay attention to how he treats people who are "beneath" him (like waiters, homeless people, door-to-door folks, and kids).
If he's nice to the sort of people that people are usually mean to, you're in good shape. , Does he ask about your career? Does he use terms like "you" and "we" more than terms like "I " and "me"? Does he talk in a future tense about your relationship? These are good signs.
Look for language that shows that he cares about you and values your relationship. -
Step 3: Try charity events.
-
Step 4: Try your work.
-
Step 5: Try church.
-
Step 6: Try asking friends.
-
Step 7: Respect yourself.
-
Step 8: Be confident.
-
Step 9: Take initiative.
-
Step 10: Take things slow.
-
Step 11: Be yourself.
-
Step 12: Get your priorities straight.
-
Step 13: Set the bar high.
-
Step 14: Ask about his mom.
-
Step 15: Notice how he treats others.
-
Step 16: Notice how he talks to you.
Detailed Guide
Surrounding yourself with quality people is a good start towards finding a great guy.
Don't tolerate any of the bad behavior in your friend group that you wouldn't want to see in a significant other.
This makes you more likely to turn a friendship into a good relationship, or to meet good people that are friends with other good (and totally single) guys.
If you're using a combination of bars and Craigslist, that's your main problem.
Stop.
Most of the "usual" places are where you're likely to find the most losers.
Also: weddings, clubs, parties, the gym, etc.
All those places where guys know you'll be looking for love.
If you stick to the usual spots, you'll be more likely to meet guys looking to take advantage of you. , Guys are much less likely to be looking to meet someone at charity events but such places are highly likely to attract guys with their priorities in the right place.
Surprise a guy by sweeping him off his feet when he least expects it. , A good portion of coupes meet at work.
This is another place where guys will not come to prey, so you're know that you're probably safe.
It's also a lot easier to gauge who's single! , Well, of course, any place of worship will do.
Exercise your spiritual side and invite the opportunity to meet a guy with his heart in the right place and with similar morals and ideas to you.
If you're not the bible-thumping type, there are lots of churches with more laid-back attitudes that focus on inspiration and practical moral guidance. , It seems silly, but just ask your friends for help.
Ask them to set you up.
Your social circle may have been milked dry, but all your friends know more people than just you.
You may be surprised by what they can come up with. , This is the most important part of finding a good guy.
You HAVE to respect yourself.
You have to believe that you deserve a good guy (and you do, so that shouldn't be too hard).
Stop beating yourself up.
Stop allowing people to walk all over you.
Stand up for yourself and do the things that make you happy.
And stop apologizing for wanting things.
This means dressing nicely as well.
You should dress like you want to be respected and taken seriously.
Don't wear anything too tight or revealing.
Wear something that would be good for going out to a nice lunch or dinner with your parents.
At work, dress like you intend to be the next manager. , Bad guys are looking for those that doubt themselves.
That think they aren't worth as much because they're "fat" or "ugly" or "poor".
Don't ever let anyone think you see yourself as less.
Be confident.
Speak your mind.
Don't apologize.
Avoid seeming shy.
It doesn't have to be real, of course: for most people it's just an act. , Don't wait for Prince Charming to come to you.
Get out there and find him.
Ask guys out on dates.
The nice ones, the actually nice ones, tend to be shy or inexperienced and may need a little help getting started.
Try, for example, "If you ask me to go with you to that new art exhibit opening this weekend, I wouldn't say no."
Being too quick to jump into bed with a guy tends to tell them that you're desperate and they don't have to try as hard.
Make them realize that you, like them, are worth putting in some effort for. , Pretending to be what you think guys want is just going to attract guys that are looking for all the wrong things.
If you just get out there and be yourself, you'll attract a guy that's looking for you. , If you're putting an emphasis on guys that look super hot instead of guys that work hard and treat you right, you're going to have a rough time.
Make sure you recognize what's really important and you'll be finding great guys before you know it., Guys will live up to the standards you set for them.
If you don't tolerate poor behavior and disrespect, then you won't see any more of it.
If a guy does something that upsets you, say so.
If he's being a jerk, stand up for yourself. , Or, really, any of the women in his life.
Get him to talk about them.
If he clearly loves and respects them, that's a good sign. , If he's nice to other people, that's also a good sign of what you can expect towards you.
Especially pay attention to how he treats people who are "beneath" him (like waiters, homeless people, door-to-door folks, and kids).
If he's nice to the sort of people that people are usually mean to, you're in good shape. , Does he ask about your career? Does he use terms like "you" and "we" more than terms like "I " and "me"? Does he talk in a future tense about your relationship? These are good signs.
Look for language that shows that he cares about you and values your relationship.
About the Author
Brittany Hayes
Writer and educator with a focus on practical organization knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: