How to Avoid a Confrontation

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Take a deep breath.

   If you feel agitated, instead of starting an argument, pause.
   
   Take a deep breath.
   
   Let your breath reach deep into your lungs before you exhale.
   
   If one breath doesn't work, try counting five breaths before you continue.
   
   This will help you relax before you try to resolve the conflict.Count your breath in your mind to help you focus on it.
   
   For example, you could think, "Breathe in and out.
   
   One...two...three...four...five..." Don't be afraid to pause and breathe before talking to someone.
   
   For example, if someone is yelling at you, close your eyes and focus on your breath.
   
   This will help you relax and handle the situation.
2. 2

   Step 2: Leave the room.

   If you can, escape the room for a few minutes to help you think.
   
   You might say that you have to use the bathroom or that you want to get a drink of water.
   
   Once you leave the room, take a few minutes to calm down.
   
   You may find that you are able to collect your thoughts more clearly once you are alone.
   
   When you are ready, return to the other room.
   
   For example, if you are being interrogated at a work conference, you can say, "You bring up a good point.
   
   Let's take a five minute break so I can think about it." If you're in an argument with family members, excuse yourself to the bathroom.
   
   You can say, "Let's not argue about this.
   
   I'm going to the restroom, and when I come back, we can discuss this more if you want."
   
   Short phrases or mantras can help you keep control over your emotions.
   
   You can say or think something like “Everything will be ok” or “I’ve got this."If you are feeling targeted or insulted by another person, remind yourself that they are probably not trying to hurt you.
   
   You can think to yourself, “They don’t mean what they say.
   
   They’re angry and upset too.
   
   This is probably all a misunderstanding.” If you're dealing with a stranger in a public place, think quietly to yourself.
   
   You can think, "Don't worry.
   
   Just breathe deeply.
   
   They're upset too." If you are worried about confronting a boss or a teacher, you can say to yourself beforehand, "Just relax.
   
   It's just a meeting.
   
   You'll be fine." You can also reassure yourself as you sit with the uncomfortable feelings you are having, such as by saying to yourself, "This is uncomfortable now, but in an hour is will all be over." Or, "I don't like feeling this way, but I know this will all blow over by the morning."
   
   A discussion involves listening and understanding, so this is preferable to going into the situation ready to argue.
   
   Instead, try to approach the confrontation as an opportunity to share your point of view and gain a better understanding of theirs.
   
   It might also help you to think about what you will get out of the discussion.
   
   Understanding the potential outcome of the discussion may help you solve the issue in a rational manner instead of an emotional one.You can ask yourself: “If we have this discussion, what might be the outcome? Is there any downside to having this discussion?” “Will I risk ruining my relationship with this other person if we have this discussion?” “Does it seem as though this discussion could escalate?” "How can I ensure that the discussion remains civil? How can I reinforce boundaries such as not yelling or raising my voice, avoiding name calling, and not going around in circles?"
3. 3

   Step 3: Repeat soothing phrases to yourself.

4. 4

   Step 4: Consider the value of having a discussion.

Detailed Guide

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