How to Avoid Being Talkative
Evaluate the causes for your talkativeness., Notice if people seem to get annoyed or zone-out when you talk., Avoid making the conversation all about you., Think before you speak., Accept that moments of silence are okay.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Evaluate the causes for your talkativeness.
You may love to talk about yourself, and not even realize that it's bothering people.
You may have a nervous need to fill silence because it feels awkward for you.
You may feel the need to talk because you're jittery and feel like you've got to let out what you want to say.Be aware of what may be the causes for your talkativeness.
Assess if there are certain situations or people that cause you to be more talkative.
Maybe you’re excited about something or someone? Or maybe you’re nervous? When you look at the situations where you’re more talkative, you can begin to control your behavior better.
Try keeping a journal for a few weeks to help identify patterns of behavior and potential triggers. -
Step 2: Notice if people seem to get annoyed or zone-out when you talk.
Do you notice yourself talking and talking and talking? Maybe you end up apologizing for your behavior after the fact.
Think about the instances when your talkativeness is getting in the way of others.
For a while, you will need to prompt yourself to be aware of these things every time you go into a conversation.
Over time, this will become something you notice naturally.
Be aware that you should stop talking (or at least move on to a different topic) when:the person is not paying attention or talking to someone else. the person seems bored or uninterested. the person is distracted, such as looking at their phone, tablet, or computer. the person is working. you're talking too fast, and they can't seem to focus on what you're saying. , While talking about yourself may be fun and interesting for you, that’s not always the case for other people.
Avoid relating every situation back to you and your life.
Find ways to connect what you’re talking about to the other person in the conversation.A conversation is a two-way street.
Learn to slow down and give space for other people to talk.
Think about a recent time that you were too talkative.
What was the topic about? Did the situation seem to only focus on you and your interests? Be more interested in what others say and do.
You may come off as selfish or self-centered if most of your conversations are dominated by you and your interests.
The best way to do this is to ask questions! , You may feel like you need to say whatever comes to mind.
Take a step back and process what you want to say.
Don’t rush to get your words out before you realize what you’re saying.
This is particularly true in public or group settings.
Sometime when you speak first, and think later, you realize you said too much or said something that shouldn’t have been said.
Give yourself time to process your thoughts.
It shows maturity and patience.
If you find yourself offending or irritating people with what you say, or your constant chattering, remember to listen to your brain and think about your words.
Don’t let your restless energy take over and speak for you. , Silence can be a beautiful thing.
It can help to clear our mind and quiet our thoughts.
It doesn’t have to be awkward or uncomfortable all the time.
Give yourself a break and let the uncomfortable silence turn to patience.Mindless chatter to fill silence may make you feel more at ease, but it could be irritating to others.
Don’t feel like you need to fill dead space.
Those moments might simply be a sign to stop talking or to move on to a topic that interests everyone, not just you.
Have a few polite ways prepared to exit a conversation when it comes to its natural end.
Many people are fine with moments of silence, particularly as they age.
See moments of silence as ways to process thoughts and feelings more clearly.
If you are constantly talking, you’re not able to truly listen to what you’re feeling in that moment. -
Step 3: Avoid making the conversation all about you.
-
Step 4: Think before you speak.
-
Step 5: Accept that moments of silence are okay.
Detailed Guide
You may love to talk about yourself, and not even realize that it's bothering people.
You may have a nervous need to fill silence because it feels awkward for you.
You may feel the need to talk because you're jittery and feel like you've got to let out what you want to say.Be aware of what may be the causes for your talkativeness.
Assess if there are certain situations or people that cause you to be more talkative.
Maybe you’re excited about something or someone? Or maybe you’re nervous? When you look at the situations where you’re more talkative, you can begin to control your behavior better.
Try keeping a journal for a few weeks to help identify patterns of behavior and potential triggers.
Do you notice yourself talking and talking and talking? Maybe you end up apologizing for your behavior after the fact.
Think about the instances when your talkativeness is getting in the way of others.
For a while, you will need to prompt yourself to be aware of these things every time you go into a conversation.
Over time, this will become something you notice naturally.
Be aware that you should stop talking (or at least move on to a different topic) when:the person is not paying attention or talking to someone else. the person seems bored or uninterested. the person is distracted, such as looking at their phone, tablet, or computer. the person is working. you're talking too fast, and they can't seem to focus on what you're saying. , While talking about yourself may be fun and interesting for you, that’s not always the case for other people.
Avoid relating every situation back to you and your life.
Find ways to connect what you’re talking about to the other person in the conversation.A conversation is a two-way street.
Learn to slow down and give space for other people to talk.
Think about a recent time that you were too talkative.
What was the topic about? Did the situation seem to only focus on you and your interests? Be more interested in what others say and do.
You may come off as selfish or self-centered if most of your conversations are dominated by you and your interests.
The best way to do this is to ask questions! , You may feel like you need to say whatever comes to mind.
Take a step back and process what you want to say.
Don’t rush to get your words out before you realize what you’re saying.
This is particularly true in public or group settings.
Sometime when you speak first, and think later, you realize you said too much or said something that shouldn’t have been said.
Give yourself time to process your thoughts.
It shows maturity and patience.
If you find yourself offending or irritating people with what you say, or your constant chattering, remember to listen to your brain and think about your words.
Don’t let your restless energy take over and speak for you. , Silence can be a beautiful thing.
It can help to clear our mind and quiet our thoughts.
It doesn’t have to be awkward or uncomfortable all the time.
Give yourself a break and let the uncomfortable silence turn to patience.Mindless chatter to fill silence may make you feel more at ease, but it could be irritating to others.
Don’t feel like you need to fill dead space.
Those moments might simply be a sign to stop talking or to move on to a topic that interests everyone, not just you.
Have a few polite ways prepared to exit a conversation when it comes to its natural end.
Many people are fine with moments of silence, particularly as they age.
See moments of silence as ways to process thoughts and feelings more clearly.
If you are constantly talking, you’re not able to truly listen to what you’re feeling in that moment.
About the Author
Edward Knight
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in crafts and beyond.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: