How to Avoid Getting Romantically Involved with the Wrong Person

Get to know the person before getting intimate., Get to know the person’s close friends., Look for red flags in the other person., Ask the person’s friends how they acted in previous relationships., Talk to the person about their core values., Take...

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Get to know the person before getting intimate.

    Go on dates with the person to determine who they are.

    When people become sexually intimate, endorphins are released in their brains which produces pleasure, and can create an emotional attachment.This could cloud your judgement on someone who isn’t objectively a good partner.

    Instead of being influenced by emotion, get to know the person you want to get romantic with.

    When you go on dates with the person, talk to them and see if you feel happy around them.

    Consider what interests you share, how easily conversation flows, and how well you get along.
  2. Step 2: Get to know the person’s close friends.

    A good indication of a person’s personality is the company that they keep.

    A person without good social supports like family or close friends may be more likely to experience a decline in physical and mental health.Friends are not always an indication of exactly who the person is, but can give you insight into what the person likes in people, their moral code, and what they find acceptable in others.

    Friends can also influence people’s decision making, whether it’s being responsible or indulging in things., Some common red flags include being immature, irresponsible, unpredictable, or controlling.

    Not having a job or skipping school are two signs that you may not be able to rely on them for support.

    If you feel insecure about the relationship as a result of this, then spend some time evaluating the other person.If the person is physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive, then leave the relationship immediately.

    If the person speaks about their exes obsessively, or in an aggressive way, this could be a sign that they aren't ready for a new relationship., Once you get more comfortable around a person’s friends, you can ask them questions about how that person was in previous relationships, or who they are according to their friend’s perspective.

    If the person is good dating material, usually their friends will talk about the positive aspects of their personality.

    If their friends talk about problems, drama, fighting, or anger, you may want to steer clear of the person you have your eye on.

    It’s important to identify the behavior of the person you are interested in, not the unfortunate circumstances of his past relationships. , Core values are a set of firmly held beliefs that dictate how you live your life and how you value those around you.You don’t have to be direct here, but you can ask them about what their spiritual, social, moral, and political beliefs are.

    Ask the person about their stance on monogamy and commitment.

    If these differ from your views, don’t get romantic with the person.

    You can also ask questions to determine how much they value money, passion, romance, or career.

    Think about how well their responses match up with your own life goals. , Romance should be about joy, passion, and excitement.

    When two people are together, they should be positive influences in each other’s lives, not a constant source of anger or anxiety.

    If you feel uncomfortable or angry more often than you feel happy and motivated, then this person is probably not the right person for you.
  3. Step 3: Look for red flags in the other person.

  4. Step 4: Ask the person’s friends how they acted in previous relationships.

  5. Step 5: Talk to the person about their core values.

  6. Step 6: Take note of times you feel uncomfortable or angry around the person.

Detailed Guide

Go on dates with the person to determine who they are.

When people become sexually intimate, endorphins are released in their brains which produces pleasure, and can create an emotional attachment.This could cloud your judgement on someone who isn’t objectively a good partner.

Instead of being influenced by emotion, get to know the person you want to get romantic with.

When you go on dates with the person, talk to them and see if you feel happy around them.

Consider what interests you share, how easily conversation flows, and how well you get along.

A good indication of a person’s personality is the company that they keep.

A person without good social supports like family or close friends may be more likely to experience a decline in physical and mental health.Friends are not always an indication of exactly who the person is, but can give you insight into what the person likes in people, their moral code, and what they find acceptable in others.

Friends can also influence people’s decision making, whether it’s being responsible or indulging in things., Some common red flags include being immature, irresponsible, unpredictable, or controlling.

Not having a job or skipping school are two signs that you may not be able to rely on them for support.

If you feel insecure about the relationship as a result of this, then spend some time evaluating the other person.If the person is physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive, then leave the relationship immediately.

If the person speaks about their exes obsessively, or in an aggressive way, this could be a sign that they aren't ready for a new relationship., Once you get more comfortable around a person’s friends, you can ask them questions about how that person was in previous relationships, or who they are according to their friend’s perspective.

If the person is good dating material, usually their friends will talk about the positive aspects of their personality.

If their friends talk about problems, drama, fighting, or anger, you may want to steer clear of the person you have your eye on.

It’s important to identify the behavior of the person you are interested in, not the unfortunate circumstances of his past relationships. , Core values are a set of firmly held beliefs that dictate how you live your life and how you value those around you.You don’t have to be direct here, but you can ask them about what their spiritual, social, moral, and political beliefs are.

Ask the person about their stance on monogamy and commitment.

If these differ from your views, don’t get romantic with the person.

You can also ask questions to determine how much they value money, passion, romance, or career.

Think about how well their responses match up with your own life goals. , Romance should be about joy, passion, and excitement.

When two people are together, they should be positive influences in each other’s lives, not a constant source of anger or anxiety.

If you feel uncomfortable or angry more often than you feel happy and motivated, then this person is probably not the right person for you.

About the Author

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Brittany Castillo

Enthusiastic about teaching pet care techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.

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