How to Avoid Passing Judgement
Listen actively., Ask questions to learn more., Connect with their emotional experience.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen actively.
A key characteristic of a judgmental person is tuning out others.
When you come to a conclusion about a person or their motives, you stop listening.
Unfortunately, this may lead to you making inappropriate snap judgments.
If you actually heard the person out, you might draw a different conclusion.Completely hear others’ messages.
Don’t interrupt or concern yourself with what you will say back.
Examine their body language and look for feeling statements like “I feel…” to help you understand their message. -
Step 2: Ask questions to learn more.
You can avoid passing judgment by making curiosity your default setting.
When you’re judgmental, you close off avenues of understanding.
When you’re curious, you are open to learning and receiving.
Pose questions to tease out the meaning of a message instead of judging or making assumptions.For instance, a friend tells you “I slept with my ex.” Passing judgment may sound like “You what? How could you?” This puts the other person in a position to defend their actions and shuts down fruitful communication.
Instead you might ask, “Can you help me understand how this happened?” which withholds any judgment and opens up the lines of communication. , When two people are communicating, each just wants to be heard and understood.
Rather than passing judgments about others, try to step into their shoes.It can be helpful to practice being vulnerable so you can be more sympathetic when others open up.Think about how you may have acted in a similar situation.
Consider their feelings and motivations.
Imagine what circumstances may have led to them making that decision.
Reading fiction presents another way of feeling empathy for others.
When you become engrossed in a character's life in a book, you increase your ability to understand the experiences of others. -
Step 3: Connect with their emotional experience.
Detailed Guide
A key characteristic of a judgmental person is tuning out others.
When you come to a conclusion about a person or their motives, you stop listening.
Unfortunately, this may lead to you making inappropriate snap judgments.
If you actually heard the person out, you might draw a different conclusion.Completely hear others’ messages.
Don’t interrupt or concern yourself with what you will say back.
Examine their body language and look for feeling statements like “I feel…” to help you understand their message.
You can avoid passing judgment by making curiosity your default setting.
When you’re judgmental, you close off avenues of understanding.
When you’re curious, you are open to learning and receiving.
Pose questions to tease out the meaning of a message instead of judging or making assumptions.For instance, a friend tells you “I slept with my ex.” Passing judgment may sound like “You what? How could you?” This puts the other person in a position to defend their actions and shuts down fruitful communication.
Instead you might ask, “Can you help me understand how this happened?” which withholds any judgment and opens up the lines of communication. , When two people are communicating, each just wants to be heard and understood.
Rather than passing judgments about others, try to step into their shoes.It can be helpful to practice being vulnerable so you can be more sympathetic when others open up.Think about how you may have acted in a similar situation.
Consider their feelings and motivations.
Imagine what circumstances may have led to them making that decision.
Reading fiction presents another way of feeling empathy for others.
When you become engrossed in a character's life in a book, you increase your ability to understand the experiences of others.
About the Author
Zachary Myers
Brings years of experience writing about cooking and related subjects.
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