How to Avoid Predators
Don't fall for their charm., Look for warning signs., Observe their actions, be aware of their movements., Take action if you suspect you are dealing with a predator: Tell someone you trust., Be prepared if he or she gets any of your contact or...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don't fall for their charm.
'Predators' can be very nice, friendly people, especially to children.
If someone is continually trying to get you alone, or to isolate you from your friends or family, there is something wrong there.
Just politely decline and carry on.
If they continue asking you, then you should call the police.
These people often make light or make "games" of inappropriate touching: -
Step 2: Look for warning signs.
A stereotypical preparatory behaviour is someone who touches a young girl around the breast area or any child around the crotch.
They might then laugh or giggle, saying, "Oops! Did I get you?" If it's innocent, that would be the end of it.
If it's more sinister, then it would happen again, probably very quickly, and could be something like: "Oops
- did it again! Did I get you there?" accompanied by a touch in a sensitive place.
He or she may even brazenly ask if you "liked that." Your Red Alert should be going off by then, but sometimes you tell yourself, "Oh, it was an accident," or "He's just playing a game." He's not
- at least not any game you should be playing.
The predator might pat you first, and then if you laughed or said it was okay after they said they were sorry, they might either pat you again, or try stroking a private part, or even putting their hand there and leaving it until you push it away
- and the next thing you know, there's a hand in your crotch, or trying to make its way down your pants or up your blouse.
A predator may even be quite brazen.
One case had a young girl sitting on the bench seat of a pickup truck between her father (driving) and her father's friend (in the passenger seat).
The friend slung his arm around the girl, and though it seemed friendly, he was fitting his hand in between her arm and her breast.
He never made an overt move, but she felt his fingers feeling around there on the side of her breast for long minutes.
She never made a sound or alerted her dad, who was sitting right next to her.
She believed that her dad would get mad at his friend and it would be her fault.
Repeat:
A predator counts on you to keep your mouth shut.
When this girl told her dad about it years later, her dad confessed that he felt something was wrong, but couldn't put his finger on it
- he would have stopped the car, put the so-called friend out on the road, and driven straight to the police station to file a report against him.
Again, continued attempts to touch you, hold you on his or her lap, or to try to get you away from others should trigger your concern.
By the way: this predator continued molesting his adopted daughter for many years and was not discovered until he had molested several other girls as well. , If this person appears to constantly be following/stalking you, it should be reported.
It's a very short step from stalking to escalating to other, more harmful behaviors, such as a sexual attack. , This step is importance and urgency cannot be overstated
- predators depend on your silence.
They count on you to keep your suspicions to yourself because you don't want to embarrass anyone, including yourself.
If you aren't sure, but are suspicious, tell a trusted adult family member, friend, or teacher, even if it's just to alert them to keep an eye on this person, too.
Each time he or she seems suspicious in any way, and the behavior exhibited alarms you, mention it to a trusted adult or an authority.
They might help protect you or report it.
If this isn't the case or if it doesn't work, then avoid the predator whenever possible.
Get to know their schedule, favorite places, and how they usually get there.
Find alternatives to these locations/routes for you to follow and refrain from telling him or her about them and where you're going. , Examples:
Change your email address, change your number, etc.
If he finds something more serious such as your address, then be sure to keep windows shut/latched, and doors locked.
Turn off lights and close blinds/curtains at night.
If you remain nervous, consider moving
- no forwarding address.
Give the address only to your trusted friends and family, and make sure they know they are not to share it without your express permission because you are attempting to evade someone who has been stalking you. , If you continue to feel suspicious or uneasy, but the behavior does not escalate, and you can find no proof to bear out your concerns, talk to this person if you feel brave.
Tell him or her, "You know, you have this thing you do that makes me feel kind of creepy.
What's that about?" There may be a reasonable explanation.
If the explanation sets you easier about it, perhaps it will help settle the matter.
If you are not interested in explanations, take steps to actively avoid running into this person in the future. -
Step 3: Observe their actions
-
Step 4: be aware of their movements.
-
Step 5: Take action if you suspect you are dealing with a predator: Tell someone you trust.
-
Step 6: Be prepared if he or she gets any of your contact or personal information
-
Step 7: to change it.
-
Step 8: Confront or avoid him/her altogether.
Detailed Guide
'Predators' can be very nice, friendly people, especially to children.
If someone is continually trying to get you alone, or to isolate you from your friends or family, there is something wrong there.
Just politely decline and carry on.
If they continue asking you, then you should call the police.
These people often make light or make "games" of inappropriate touching:
A stereotypical preparatory behaviour is someone who touches a young girl around the breast area or any child around the crotch.
They might then laugh or giggle, saying, "Oops! Did I get you?" If it's innocent, that would be the end of it.
If it's more sinister, then it would happen again, probably very quickly, and could be something like: "Oops
- did it again! Did I get you there?" accompanied by a touch in a sensitive place.
He or she may even brazenly ask if you "liked that." Your Red Alert should be going off by then, but sometimes you tell yourself, "Oh, it was an accident," or "He's just playing a game." He's not
- at least not any game you should be playing.
The predator might pat you first, and then if you laughed or said it was okay after they said they were sorry, they might either pat you again, or try stroking a private part, or even putting their hand there and leaving it until you push it away
- and the next thing you know, there's a hand in your crotch, or trying to make its way down your pants or up your blouse.
A predator may even be quite brazen.
One case had a young girl sitting on the bench seat of a pickup truck between her father (driving) and her father's friend (in the passenger seat).
The friend slung his arm around the girl, and though it seemed friendly, he was fitting his hand in between her arm and her breast.
He never made an overt move, but she felt his fingers feeling around there on the side of her breast for long minutes.
She never made a sound or alerted her dad, who was sitting right next to her.
She believed that her dad would get mad at his friend and it would be her fault.
Repeat:
A predator counts on you to keep your mouth shut.
When this girl told her dad about it years later, her dad confessed that he felt something was wrong, but couldn't put his finger on it
- he would have stopped the car, put the so-called friend out on the road, and driven straight to the police station to file a report against him.
Again, continued attempts to touch you, hold you on his or her lap, or to try to get you away from others should trigger your concern.
By the way: this predator continued molesting his adopted daughter for many years and was not discovered until he had molested several other girls as well. , If this person appears to constantly be following/stalking you, it should be reported.
It's a very short step from stalking to escalating to other, more harmful behaviors, such as a sexual attack. , This step is importance and urgency cannot be overstated
- predators depend on your silence.
They count on you to keep your suspicions to yourself because you don't want to embarrass anyone, including yourself.
If you aren't sure, but are suspicious, tell a trusted adult family member, friend, or teacher, even if it's just to alert them to keep an eye on this person, too.
Each time he or she seems suspicious in any way, and the behavior exhibited alarms you, mention it to a trusted adult or an authority.
They might help protect you or report it.
If this isn't the case or if it doesn't work, then avoid the predator whenever possible.
Get to know their schedule, favorite places, and how they usually get there.
Find alternatives to these locations/routes for you to follow and refrain from telling him or her about them and where you're going. , Examples:
Change your email address, change your number, etc.
If he finds something more serious such as your address, then be sure to keep windows shut/latched, and doors locked.
Turn off lights and close blinds/curtains at night.
If you remain nervous, consider moving
- no forwarding address.
Give the address only to your trusted friends and family, and make sure they know they are not to share it without your express permission because you are attempting to evade someone who has been stalking you. , If you continue to feel suspicious or uneasy, but the behavior does not escalate, and you can find no proof to bear out your concerns, talk to this person if you feel brave.
Tell him or her, "You know, you have this thing you do that makes me feel kind of creepy.
What's that about?" There may be a reasonable explanation.
If the explanation sets you easier about it, perhaps it will help settle the matter.
If you are not interested in explanations, take steps to actively avoid running into this person in the future.
About the Author
Ruth Ryan
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in cooking and beyond.
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