How to Be a Dominatrix

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Never assume consent.

   Consent must be freely given.
   
   A person who is intoxicated or unconscious cannot consent.
   
   It’s best to check in from time to time to make sure.
   
   Of course, with BDSM it can be trickier to ensure consent, which is why it is important to set boundaries beforehand., Talk to your partner about what’s off-limits, and what could be off-limits, depending on a number of factors, including pain, pressure, and psychological discomfort.Using a “want/will/won’t” list can be helpful in determining how you and your sub’s desires align.
   
   A “want/will/won’t” list basically lists what you want, what you will do if asked, and what you won’t do.Creating a “contract” can be a fun way to list wants, wills and won’ts.
   
   Though aren’t legally enforceable, they can begin a scene with the sub and set limits and boundaries within the fantasy itself., It is important to watch the body language of your partner.
   
   While it is often common in BDSM to play the role of ‘victim,’ you can usually tell the difference between BDSM play and a withdrawal of consent, especially if they are gagged.
   
   Look in their eyes, check to see if their body stiffens, or if they turn away.
   
   This is a sign they might not be enjoying the play.
   
   If any of this will be part of your play, establish this beforehand., To ensure consent throughout the play, determine both a safe-word and a safe-gesture, as well as a caution-word and a caution-gesture.
   
   The caution word/gesture will indicate that they are not sure or something might be wrong, whereas the safe-word would indicate a definite withdrawal of consent.
   
   Here are some tips for safe-words and caution-words.Examples of safe-words and caution-words can be “stop” and “slow,” or “red” and “yellow.” The gesture will depend on a number of things, including what body parts they can move, whether you can see their face, among other things.
   
   However, simple safe- and caution-gestures include blinking and nodding or shaking one’s head. , Sometimes ropes become knotted or move to more dangerous places during play.
   
   This is why it is essential to have safety shears on hand if you are using rope play.
   
   Even if you never end up using them, they should help your partner relax and be in the moment, rather than worrying about possible asphyxiation., As with any strenuous exercise, staying hydrated is important.
   
   This is especially important if you or the sub is wearing heavy clothing or accessories (like leather).Water can also become part of the play, as you can tease your partner with the water before relinquishing the control of the water., Taking a class is a great way to familiarize yourself with all the intricacies of being a dominatrix.
   
   Because so many BDSM toys have the potential to do actual harm, taking a class on rope safety or being a dominatrix can help delineate safe practices when in the dungeon.
   
   Check to see if you local sex-shop offers a course.
   
   Just make sure it’s sex-positive and emphasizes safety and consent.
2. 2

   Step 2: Set boundaries before playing the dominatrix.

3. 3

   Step 3: Keep the lines of communication open throughout the experience.

4. 4

   Step 4: Determine a safe-word/gesture and a caution-word/gesture.

5. 5

   Step 5: Always have safety shears at arm’s reach.

6. 6

   Step 6: Keep water on hand.

7. 7

   Step 7: Take a class.

Detailed Guide

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