How to Be a Flipper (Girls)

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Flipperness isn't a music subculture like punk or grunge

   Explore the acoustic hits of the 90's.
   
   Flippers LOVE Green Day.
   
   In fact, the flipper theme song would probably be "Time of Your Life" but to be a true flipper, always call it "Good Riddance" and be super-annoyed by people that don't know the real meaning behind it.
   
   Also, listen to Jewel, Enya, Nora Roberts, the Indigo Girls, and Dashboard Confessional.
   
   Emo, rock, ska and punk are very acceptable, but nothing too hardcore.
   
   NEVER listen to hip-hop, country, rap, or anything popular. (Actually, you can listen to whatever you want, but this is what is what's recommended.)
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   Step 2: but there are definitely some flipper staples.

   Also, don't eat junk food, it's just as bad. , A flipper's goal in life is to not cause pain and suffering.
   
   However you don't have to be vegetarian if you don't want to or if your parents don't let you. , Because, hey, why not? It's a super cool skill to know and may come in handy a few time in life, eh? ,, Flippers HATE the Hollywood culture.
   
   Reality television, unless it has to do with science, is also pointless. , Flippers love learning.
   
   Make friends with all of your teachers.
   
   Flippers know that although this sounds geeky, it'll pay off in letters of recommendation. , Make sure you really absorb the information and you don't rush through it. , Flippers have unmatched creativity that spills out everywhere. (flippers love drawing on shirts with sharpies, and the designs don't wash out!) , Flippers usually only drink water (flavored is good.) Milk and orange juice are fine, too. , Rollerblade everywhere possible. ,, Go to anti-war, disability rights, animal rights protests. , Remember, you're just a kid! , Flippers want to be lean and athletic.
   
   Wear sports bras all the time and play down your chest.
   
   Flippers love swimming, running, yoga, pilates, and martial arts.
   
   These help you slim down, not get bigger. , Reduce calories but eat tons of fruits and vegetables. , Plastic-rimmed glasses are VERY flipperish! , The signature flipper hair color is red for uniqueness and oddity. , Flippers are careful with their skin. , Flippers are musicians, and prefer sentimental, acoustic music. , Paint them bright colors. , Don't try to change your features with your makeup like contouring your cheeks (evening skin tone is fine.) , Flippers love going camping and hiking. ,, Decide that you are too smart to be an object for guys. ,,, Flippers don't go shopping that much, and spend most of their time in the bookstores. , Most colors are fine, but flippers don't usually wear brown. , You should also have a few rings. , Flippers don't make spectacles of themselves.
   
   Don't look people in the eye until you've talked to them for about a minute.
   
   Flippers don't people watch; they stare into space. ,, When starting off a conversation, just smile and nod like you've heard something similar before.
   
   Look at people like they're interesting animals, this will freak them out.
   
   Never divulge too much information.
   
   Speak moderately and methodically, and try not to have an annoying accent like valspeak. , If you've got a problem, like you're late, don't let it shake you, just get there and apologize.
   
   A true flipper can be held at gunpoint and go, "You really need to relax, man!"
   
   When you start dating someone, don't be clingy. , Don't try to be a Barbie, and don't be a people-pleaser.
   
   Flippers are generous and helpful towards their friends and families, but they'll stand up to them. , Gone With the Wind is a good starting point, since it is from 1936 but the language is quite simple to understand in today's world.
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   Step 3: Never be drinking or smoking; it's really bad for you

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   Step 4: and a true flipper should always have it together.

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   Step 5: Consider going vegetarian and eventually vegan.

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   Step 6: Begin studying martial arts.

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   Step 7: When you're not watching Spongebob

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   Step 8: watch the Discovery or Science channel.

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   Step 9: Never watch MTV

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    Step 10: or read UsWeekly or buy/watch ANYTHING that has to do with stupid celebrities.

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    Step 11: Always show up to class on time.

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    Step 12: A good flipper always does their homework.

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    Step 13: Buy a pack of multi-colored sharpies and draw on everything you own with them.

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    Step 14: Never drink soda

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    Step 15: coffee

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    Step 16: or of course

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    Step 17: alcohol.

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    Step 18: Learn to rollerblade if you don't know how.

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    Step 19: Be a pacifist because nobody should like killing.

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    Step 20: Protest

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    Step 21: protest

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    Step 22: protest!

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    Step 23: Develop a dislike for the expectation that you will someday reproduce.

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    Step 24: Exercise!

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    Step 25: Control your eating habits.

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    Step 26: If you need glasses

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    Step 27: wear them.

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    Step 28: Straighten your hair and have layers put in.

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    Step 29: Don't go tanning and only use gradual self-tanners.

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    Step 30: Learn to play acoustic guitar and piano.

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    Step 31: Clip your nails short and keep them clean; this is necessary for guitar lessons!

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    Step 32: Don't over-tweeze your eyebrows; flippers hate looking overdone and scary like Pam Anderson.

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    Step 33: Flippers love being outside

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    Step 34: especially while reading

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    Step 35: singing

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    Step 36: drawing

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    Step 37: or playing guitar.

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    Step 38: Never scream or freak out when you see a mouse

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    Step 39: spider

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    Step 40: The way most girls behave should annoy you.

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    Step 41: Wear studded belts

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    Step 42: loose jeans

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    Step 43: or cargo pants.

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    Step 44: Only wear converse-style tennis shoes (in the summer

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    Step 45: flip flops are good too

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    Step 46: ) preferably in bright colors.

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    Step 47: Wear cute

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    Step 48: fitted t-shirts that you either decorated yourself or bought at Walmart for $5.

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    Step 49: Flippers love hats

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    Step 50: such as bucket hats

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    Step 51: berets

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    Step 52: and military caps.

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    Step 53: Wear lots of colored jelly bracelets and cuffs.

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    Step 54: Be polite

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    Step 55: but slightly reserved in public.

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    Step 56: When people you don't know tease you

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    Step 57: ignore them completely.

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    Step 58: Don't talk incessantly.

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    Step 59: Always appear calm and collected.

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    Step 60: When it comes to guys

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    Step 61: don't act like they impress you.

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    Step 62: Being a flipper is about independence and freedom.

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    Step 63: Read the classics.

Detailed Guide

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