How to Be a Guido

Be an Italian-American., Exercise as much as possible., Drink juices and shakes., Tan your body., Participate in nightlife., Learn the guido poses.

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Be an Italian-American.

    To truly be a guido, you have to have Italian heritage.

    Don’t fake being Italian to fit in with guido culture.

    The classic guido is from the Jersey-New York area and has an accent to prove it., If you’ve seen the Jersey Shore, you’ll see that these guys are ripped.

    To reach this level of physical physique, you will need a gym membership and a lot of determination.

    First, set goals for improving your strength.

    For example, if you bench press 120 lbs, set a goal to raise that amount in small increments.

    Work on compound exercises, or lifts that exercise multiple muscles and joints.

    This includes deadlifts, squats, presses, rows, and chinups.

    Let your muscles recover to allow them to grow.

    The best way to let your muscles recover is by getting enough sleep at night.

    Try going to bed thirty minutes earlier than usual.Abs might be the best muscle group to focus on.

    Abs are the reason The Situation received his nickname.

    It was because his abs stopped someone who couldn’t believe how toned his abs were., As said on the Jersey Shore, “My ideal man would be Italian, dark, muscles, and a 'juice-head'.”Pre and post workout nutrition is imperative for serious muscle gain.

    Following a serious juice and shake routine can also improve many health functions in your body.

    Buy a juice machine to save you money from buying juices out and at the gym.

    Try out this easy recipe that might normally cost $10 from the store: 1 ½ Granny Smith apple 4 Kale leaves 8 Parsley Sprigs 4 Celery stalks 1 Cucumber ½ Lemon, peeled, It may not always be ideal to go tanning out in the sun.

    Join a tanning salon or invest into spray on tans.

    The guido archetype is dark and this isn’t always achieved naturally.

    The guido lifestyle values products and cosmetics., You have to dance to truly act like a guido.

    An integral part of dancing is doing the fist pump.

    You can incorporate moving your hips and legs to the beat while pumping your fists to the beat.

    The most popular nightlife of guidos are clubs that play dance/pop music.

    One of the major aspects of nightlife is dressing the part. , Guidos have several poses that identify what type of mood and attitude they currently have.

    While many of these poses are for the camera, many of them can be used as a greeting or farewell.

    These are a few of the poses of a guido:
    Fist-pump.

    This is a staple pose and dance move.

    All it requires is that you pump one fist up into the air.

    Imagine the radio is playing Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars and it throws you into a “hyped” move.

    Alcohol shot.

    This is a pose that is used when posing for a camera at a party.

    Grab the whole bottle of a liquor like Grey Goose, and raise it up as though you are toasting the camera.

    Backwards peace sign.

    This is a classic pose that spans across several groups of people.

    Make the peace sign towards the camera or person and turn your hand so your palm faces you.

    The peace sign consists of you extending your index and middle fingers together.

    Duckface.

    You can incorporate the duckface, or kissing face, into any of these poses.

    You could also use the duckface by itself, or with a group of people.

    Abs pose.

    Again, abs are valued highly in the guido culture.

    The ab pose means that you lift your shirt to pose your abs to the camera.
  2. Step 2: Exercise as much as possible.

  3. Step 3: Drink juices and shakes.

  4. Step 4: Tan your body.

  5. Step 5: Participate in nightlife.

  6. Step 6: Learn the guido poses.

Detailed Guide

To truly be a guido, you have to have Italian heritage.

Don’t fake being Italian to fit in with guido culture.

The classic guido is from the Jersey-New York area and has an accent to prove it., If you’ve seen the Jersey Shore, you’ll see that these guys are ripped.

To reach this level of physical physique, you will need a gym membership and a lot of determination.

First, set goals for improving your strength.

For example, if you bench press 120 lbs, set a goal to raise that amount in small increments.

Work on compound exercises, or lifts that exercise multiple muscles and joints.

This includes deadlifts, squats, presses, rows, and chinups.

Let your muscles recover to allow them to grow.

The best way to let your muscles recover is by getting enough sleep at night.

Try going to bed thirty minutes earlier than usual.Abs might be the best muscle group to focus on.

Abs are the reason The Situation received his nickname.

It was because his abs stopped someone who couldn’t believe how toned his abs were., As said on the Jersey Shore, “My ideal man would be Italian, dark, muscles, and a 'juice-head'.”Pre and post workout nutrition is imperative for serious muscle gain.

Following a serious juice and shake routine can also improve many health functions in your body.

Buy a juice machine to save you money from buying juices out and at the gym.

Try out this easy recipe that might normally cost $10 from the store: 1 ½ Granny Smith apple 4 Kale leaves 8 Parsley Sprigs 4 Celery stalks 1 Cucumber ½ Lemon, peeled, It may not always be ideal to go tanning out in the sun.

Join a tanning salon or invest into spray on tans.

The guido archetype is dark and this isn’t always achieved naturally.

The guido lifestyle values products and cosmetics., You have to dance to truly act like a guido.

An integral part of dancing is doing the fist pump.

You can incorporate moving your hips and legs to the beat while pumping your fists to the beat.

The most popular nightlife of guidos are clubs that play dance/pop music.

One of the major aspects of nightlife is dressing the part. , Guidos have several poses that identify what type of mood and attitude they currently have.

While many of these poses are for the camera, many of them can be used as a greeting or farewell.

These are a few of the poses of a guido:
Fist-pump.

This is a staple pose and dance move.

All it requires is that you pump one fist up into the air.

Imagine the radio is playing Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars and it throws you into a “hyped” move.

Alcohol shot.

This is a pose that is used when posing for a camera at a party.

Grab the whole bottle of a liquor like Grey Goose, and raise it up as though you are toasting the camera.

Backwards peace sign.

This is a classic pose that spans across several groups of people.

Make the peace sign towards the camera or person and turn your hand so your palm faces you.

The peace sign consists of you extending your index and middle fingers together.

Duckface.

You can incorporate the duckface, or kissing face, into any of these poses.

You could also use the duckface by itself, or with a group of people.

Abs pose.

Again, abs are valued highly in the guido culture.

The ab pose means that you lift your shirt to pose your abs to the camera.

About the Author

M

Mark Griffin

Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow hobbies tutorials.

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