How to Be an Indie Rock Elitist

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Seek out influential indie albums (regardless of whether or not you enjoy them).

   Listen to and study them so that you're prepared for conversing with fellow indie rock elitists in the future.
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   Step 2: When you run out of influential albums

   If you run out of ideas, you may need to begin listening to groups from other countries, in languages that you don't understand (eg: 60s French pop, popularly known as yé-yé).
   
   This is an important facet of advanced elitism. , Compare everything else to these bands, and whenever possible, make a point of saying that "is better."
   
   Whenever this happens, you need to say something along the lines of "I liked them first." This will help develop both your superiority and your bitterness (a staple of elitism). , Once people begin to respect you, you'll need to start using stronger sarcasm and general rudeness to demonstrate your superiority. , Discussing music in person is wholly unnecessary.
   
   The internet (online message boards, etc.) can be a fantastic tool for exercising your skills at condemning others' taste, as well as allowing you to learn techniques from well-established, expert elitists. , Your ultimate goal is, of course, to be head of the pack.
   
   However, when you're starting out, it can be incredibly helpful to have acquaintances who are willing and able to back you and your opinions up.
   
   This will also allow you to form special "indie inside jokes" which will not only annoy others, but also increase your feelings of superiority and general indie compatibility. , You'll need to change based upon current trends, keep surprising people with new styles of sarcasm, etc.
   
   Stay alert. ,
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   Step 3: try for the most impressively obscure recordings available.

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   Step 4: Choose one or two bands (of course

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   Step 5: the more obscure

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   Step 6: the better) to latch yourself onto.

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   Step 7: If you're successful

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   Step 8: fellow elitist wannabes will begin to agree with you.

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   Step 9: Establish yourself in your community as an expert on every music-related topic (it doesn't matter whether or not you really know what you're talking about).

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    Step 10: If you're an introverted kind of person (many elitists are)

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    Step 11: do not fret!

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    Step 12: If possible

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    Step 13: you may want to become associated with a group of like-minded elitists.

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    Step 14: As your evolution begins to take place

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    Step 15: it's important to begin using new techniques to distinguish yourself.

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    Step 16: Alternatively

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    Step 17: join the Indie Rock Club at your school

Detailed Guide

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