How to Be Annoying
Be loud., Say yes or no to everything someone asks you., Make loud animal sounds., Ask someone "why?", Be unaware., Be ridiculous., Use toilet humor.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be loud.
Sing along to anything and everything.
Even if it is someone else's music.
Especially the annoying or little-kid songs.
If a friend is listening to an iPod, help yourself to one of their headphones and start singing along to the song (if you're tone deaf this works really well).
Have incessantly loud conversations in public places on your cellphone.
It doesn't even matter if you're actually talking to someone.
Share friends private details at extreme volume over and over again.
When they tell you to be quiet, just be louder.
Remember, you don't have to even know the words to the song, just make them up as you go along – the dumber your lyrics the better! And, for bonus points, if you are watching TV, sing along with all of the commercial jingles.
You could also sing something over and over to the point where no one can stand it anymore.
If they leave, start screaming at the top of your lungs until they come back. -
Step 2: Say yes or no to everything someone asks you.
"How have things with you and Casey been going?" "Yes." "Does that mean good?" "No." "Never mind..." , People can get really annoyed if you sneak up behind them and make an animal noise.
If someone is yelling at you or scolding you, make a questioning sound in return. , and then when they explain keep punctuating every explanation with a "why?" question. , Ask private or embarrassing questions.
You can either ask a ton of these to one person, or spread it around.
If you are going to do this to any random person, do things like ask a man if he is pregnant.
Laugh for no reason and at random times.
Don't explain yourself either when someone asks you why you are laughing, just scold them like they have offended you.
Alternatively, make up inside jokes that only you know and don't share them with anyone.
When someone asks you why it's so funny, just tell them that it's an inside joke. , Shuffle around constantly.
Act as if you can't keep still.
Make some kind of a repeated movement in someone's peripheral vision.
Gawk at something non-existent on the top of someone's head.
When you're having a normal conversation with someone, suddenly open your mouth slightly and stare at a point just over their head or right on top of their head.
If they touch their head nervously and ask "what?" just stifle pretend laughter and shake your head and return to the conversation.
To make it even more annoying, keep doing it throughout the day at inappropriate times.
When someone asks you anything, reply "sure, you want fries with that?" Also every time they state any opinion about anything, make sure you interrupt and yell "That's what she said," even if it wasn't inappropriate.
Tell people, in English, that you do not speak English, and you are learning from a tutor.
This works even better if you use really long or rarely used words.
The kind of words that only people fluent in English would use. , Announce to everyone around you that you have to go to the bathroom, and that you think that they should all go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while.
When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are you doing okay in there?" To make it even more annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall.
When you are finished in the bathroom, come out with a sigh of relief and be sure to tell them all about your time in the bathroom (even if they would rather you didn't). -
Step 3: Make loud animal sounds.
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Step 4: Ask someone "why?"
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Step 5: Be unaware.
-
Step 6: Be ridiculous.
-
Step 7: Use toilet humor.
Detailed Guide
Sing along to anything and everything.
Even if it is someone else's music.
Especially the annoying or little-kid songs.
If a friend is listening to an iPod, help yourself to one of their headphones and start singing along to the song (if you're tone deaf this works really well).
Have incessantly loud conversations in public places on your cellphone.
It doesn't even matter if you're actually talking to someone.
Share friends private details at extreme volume over and over again.
When they tell you to be quiet, just be louder.
Remember, you don't have to even know the words to the song, just make them up as you go along – the dumber your lyrics the better! And, for bonus points, if you are watching TV, sing along with all of the commercial jingles.
You could also sing something over and over to the point where no one can stand it anymore.
If they leave, start screaming at the top of your lungs until they come back.
"How have things with you and Casey been going?" "Yes." "Does that mean good?" "No." "Never mind..." , People can get really annoyed if you sneak up behind them and make an animal noise.
If someone is yelling at you or scolding you, make a questioning sound in return. , and then when they explain keep punctuating every explanation with a "why?" question. , Ask private or embarrassing questions.
You can either ask a ton of these to one person, or spread it around.
If you are going to do this to any random person, do things like ask a man if he is pregnant.
Laugh for no reason and at random times.
Don't explain yourself either when someone asks you why you are laughing, just scold them like they have offended you.
Alternatively, make up inside jokes that only you know and don't share them with anyone.
When someone asks you why it's so funny, just tell them that it's an inside joke. , Shuffle around constantly.
Act as if you can't keep still.
Make some kind of a repeated movement in someone's peripheral vision.
Gawk at something non-existent on the top of someone's head.
When you're having a normal conversation with someone, suddenly open your mouth slightly and stare at a point just over their head or right on top of their head.
If they touch their head nervously and ask "what?" just stifle pretend laughter and shake your head and return to the conversation.
To make it even more annoying, keep doing it throughout the day at inappropriate times.
When someone asks you anything, reply "sure, you want fries with that?" Also every time they state any opinion about anything, make sure you interrupt and yell "That's what she said," even if it wasn't inappropriate.
Tell people, in English, that you do not speak English, and you are learning from a tutor.
This works even better if you use really long or rarely used words.
The kind of words that only people fluent in English would use. , Announce to everyone around you that you have to go to the bathroom, and that you think that they should all go too, as they have been holding it in for quite a while.
When they do go to the bathroom, call out to them things like: "Are you doing okay in there?" To make it even more annoying, if there are other people in the bathroom, proudly announce to them: "My friend is in there," pointing at the bathroom stall.
When you are finished in the bathroom, come out with a sigh of relief and be sure to tell them all about your time in the bathroom (even if they would rather you didn't).
About the Author
Brian Diaz
Specializes in breaking down complex lifestyle topics into simple steps.
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