How to Be Less Awkward
Put yourself out there., Stop caring what people think -- or look like it., Develop your confidence., Get a grip on social norms., Embrace your awkwardness., Don't show up too early or too late.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Put yourself out there.
If you already feel too awkward to even know how to properly greet your next-door neighbor, then the last thing you probably want to do is to put yourself out there and spend more time interacting with people.
However, the more time you spent with people, the more comfortable you'll be socially, and the less afraid you'll be of saying or doing the wrong thing.
Make a goal of spending more time with people and less time holed up at home.
Meet a variety of people through different networks, such as the school newspaper, the tennis team, or a youth group, and learn how to hang out with people with different interests and backgrounds.
If you don't feel like you thrive in a group environment, invite a friend or an acquaintance for coffee or a small outing first.
Getting to know people on an individual level can help you build the confidence to hang out in a group setting.
Don't be silent.
You can still not be putting yourself out there even if you're in a room full of people.
Though you don't have to try to be the belle of the ball, if you're the shy sort of awkward, then make it a goal to speak up a bit more and to make your presence known so you're more comfortable with people reacting to you. -
Step 2: Stop caring what people think -- or look like it.
Though it's impossible for anyone, even Justin Bieber or Brad Pitt, to ever fully stop caring about what people think, you can still make an effort to care less about what people think about you.
If you're paralyzed by the thought of doing something wrong because you don't want to offend, bore, or annoy anyone around you, then you'll never be able to overcome your social awkwardness.
The next time you talk to someone, tell yourself that you're taking a risk and being dynamic, and that it's better to get the reaction you want than to do nothing.
People can also tell if you're obsessed with what they think if you're constantly asking questions about what they think.
If you always say things like, "Do you think my new haircut sucks?" or "Do you think I should stop playing the cello?" then you'll look like you don't have a mind of your own.
If you stop caring about what people think, you'll be on your way to developing your confidence and sense of self.
Working to meet your private goals and doing the things you love is a lot more important than pleasing the people around you.
Don't let people catch you checking out your reflection in a window or staring at yourself in the mirror.
This will make it look like you're overly-concerned with your image. , Though developing your confidence is easier said than done, you need to work on improving your self-worth if you want to be less awkward.
Part of being awkward stems from feeling like you just don't "get it," and don't know how to act around people who all look like they know what they're doing.
Well, until you see that you're not any worse than the people around you, you won't be able to interact with others on an equal playing field.
Take pride in doing the things you love.
Whether you love classic movies, building model planes, or running, you should spend time doing the things you enjoy to improve your sense of self.
Though no perfect wardrobe or haircut will actually make you feel confident, taking the time to shower, groom yourself, and offer a presentable face to the world will make you feel better about yourself for sure.
Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself instead of the people who put you down.
Part of the reason you may be feeling awkward around other people is because the people you're with don't make you feel valued. , Another reason that people feel awkward is because they feel like they just don't know what to do in a social situation, and find themselves constantly saying something inappropriate or misreading social cues.
Well, there's no handbook that can teach you exactly how to understand social norms and to be less awkward, but there are a few things you can do to get a better grip on social norms:
If you have a friend or just an acquaintance who has amazing social skills, try to spend more time around that person to get a better understanding of how he pulls it off.
If you did something that really offended someone or just failed socially, make a note of it so you can avoid it the next time around.
Learn to read the dynamics of situation before you jump into it.
If people are joking around in a group, it's not the time to talk about the hard math test coming up.
On the other hand, if one person is talking about how sad he is after his break-up, it's not the time to tell an off-color joke. , You don't have to be as cool as James Dean to make people like you.
In fact, being awkward, bumbling around, and spilling food all over yourself can actually endear you to people.
Though you can work on improving your social skills, you shouldn't try to be super smooth, or people will know that you're not really being yourself.
Embracing your awkwardness doesn't mean saying, "I'm so awkward!" every two seconds; but it does mean being comfortable with your occasional lack of social grace.
Learn to laugh at yourself.
That will make people more comfortable around you and will be happy that you're willing to admit you're imperfect.
You don't have to be self-deprecating to make fun of yourself occasionally using the right tone.
For example, if you always spill on yourself and someone has pointed out the big awkward ketchup stain on your pants, just say, "Trust me, it's usually worse," instead of looking all embarrassed and uncomfortable. , Though this may sound like a small point, a lot of social awkwardness comes from bad timing.
If you showed up super early to an event and are the first one there, then you may get stuck talking to the person organizing the event without having much to say, or you may feel like you're just in the way and are better standing off to the side.
On the other hand, if you show up to an event way too late, everyone will have already developed their dynamic, and it may be more difficult to insert yourself into the conversation.
If you're going to a party, showing up exactly on time may make you look a little bit too eager.
Show up at least fifteen minutes late if there's no rigid deadline.
Of course, don't show up late if it'll look rude. -
Step 3: Develop your confidence.
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Step 4: Get a grip on social norms.
-
Step 5: Embrace your awkwardness.
-
Step 6: Don't show up too early or too late.
Detailed Guide
If you already feel too awkward to even know how to properly greet your next-door neighbor, then the last thing you probably want to do is to put yourself out there and spend more time interacting with people.
However, the more time you spent with people, the more comfortable you'll be socially, and the less afraid you'll be of saying or doing the wrong thing.
Make a goal of spending more time with people and less time holed up at home.
Meet a variety of people through different networks, such as the school newspaper, the tennis team, or a youth group, and learn how to hang out with people with different interests and backgrounds.
If you don't feel like you thrive in a group environment, invite a friend or an acquaintance for coffee or a small outing first.
Getting to know people on an individual level can help you build the confidence to hang out in a group setting.
Don't be silent.
You can still not be putting yourself out there even if you're in a room full of people.
Though you don't have to try to be the belle of the ball, if you're the shy sort of awkward, then make it a goal to speak up a bit more and to make your presence known so you're more comfortable with people reacting to you.
Though it's impossible for anyone, even Justin Bieber or Brad Pitt, to ever fully stop caring about what people think, you can still make an effort to care less about what people think about you.
If you're paralyzed by the thought of doing something wrong because you don't want to offend, bore, or annoy anyone around you, then you'll never be able to overcome your social awkwardness.
The next time you talk to someone, tell yourself that you're taking a risk and being dynamic, and that it's better to get the reaction you want than to do nothing.
People can also tell if you're obsessed with what they think if you're constantly asking questions about what they think.
If you always say things like, "Do you think my new haircut sucks?" or "Do you think I should stop playing the cello?" then you'll look like you don't have a mind of your own.
If you stop caring about what people think, you'll be on your way to developing your confidence and sense of self.
Working to meet your private goals and doing the things you love is a lot more important than pleasing the people around you.
Don't let people catch you checking out your reflection in a window or staring at yourself in the mirror.
This will make it look like you're overly-concerned with your image. , Though developing your confidence is easier said than done, you need to work on improving your self-worth if you want to be less awkward.
Part of being awkward stems from feeling like you just don't "get it," and don't know how to act around people who all look like they know what they're doing.
Well, until you see that you're not any worse than the people around you, you won't be able to interact with others on an equal playing field.
Take pride in doing the things you love.
Whether you love classic movies, building model planes, or running, you should spend time doing the things you enjoy to improve your sense of self.
Though no perfect wardrobe or haircut will actually make you feel confident, taking the time to shower, groom yourself, and offer a presentable face to the world will make you feel better about yourself for sure.
Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself instead of the people who put you down.
Part of the reason you may be feeling awkward around other people is because the people you're with don't make you feel valued. , Another reason that people feel awkward is because they feel like they just don't know what to do in a social situation, and find themselves constantly saying something inappropriate or misreading social cues.
Well, there's no handbook that can teach you exactly how to understand social norms and to be less awkward, but there are a few things you can do to get a better grip on social norms:
If you have a friend or just an acquaintance who has amazing social skills, try to spend more time around that person to get a better understanding of how he pulls it off.
If you did something that really offended someone or just failed socially, make a note of it so you can avoid it the next time around.
Learn to read the dynamics of situation before you jump into it.
If people are joking around in a group, it's not the time to talk about the hard math test coming up.
On the other hand, if one person is talking about how sad he is after his break-up, it's not the time to tell an off-color joke. , You don't have to be as cool as James Dean to make people like you.
In fact, being awkward, bumbling around, and spilling food all over yourself can actually endear you to people.
Though you can work on improving your social skills, you shouldn't try to be super smooth, or people will know that you're not really being yourself.
Embracing your awkwardness doesn't mean saying, "I'm so awkward!" every two seconds; but it does mean being comfortable with your occasional lack of social grace.
Learn to laugh at yourself.
That will make people more comfortable around you and will be happy that you're willing to admit you're imperfect.
You don't have to be self-deprecating to make fun of yourself occasionally using the right tone.
For example, if you always spill on yourself and someone has pointed out the big awkward ketchup stain on your pants, just say, "Trust me, it's usually worse," instead of looking all embarrassed and uncomfortable. , Though this may sound like a small point, a lot of social awkwardness comes from bad timing.
If you showed up super early to an event and are the first one there, then you may get stuck talking to the person organizing the event without having much to say, or you may feel like you're just in the way and are better standing off to the side.
On the other hand, if you show up to an event way too late, everyone will have already developed their dynamic, and it may be more difficult to insert yourself into the conversation.
If you're going to a party, showing up exactly on time may make you look a little bit too eager.
Show up at least fifteen minutes late if there's no rigid deadline.
Of course, don't show up late if it'll look rude.
About the Author
Andrew Nguyen
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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