How to Be Mentally Resilient
Challenge problematic thinking., Set goals., Be a realistic optimist., Give yourself permission to feel your emotions., Set aside time to process your emotions., Write about your experiences., Let go of your entitlement., Don’t expect to be happy...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Challenge problematic thinking.
The way you look at setbacks can have a serious impact on whether or not you can muster the strength to try again.
When something doesn't turn out the way you hoped, you may have an automatic response that you're not even aware of, a response that puts an unnecessarily negative spin on the situation.
When you experience a setback, take a few deep breaths to calm down, and try to notice what messages you are giving yourself.
Challenge the thoughts that impede your resiliency.Asking yourself a few key questions may help you see where you may have road blocks to resilience.
Do you view setbacks as temporary or permanent? (For instance, do you say "Well, I didn't get that job," or, "No one is ever going to hire me"?) Do you let them affect unrelated areas of your life? (Do you say "I'm not a very fast reader," or "I'm dumb and not good at anything"?) Do you blame yourself when bad things happen? (Do you say, "That relationship didn't work out because he's not ready to commit" or "He dumped me because I'm unlovable and not a good partner"?) When you identify negative self-talk, it can help to challenge those thoughts.
You can do this by writing the statement ("I'm dumb and not good at anything") on a piece of paper, then make two columns.
In one column, write the evidence that supports the thought ("I couldn't finish the reading comprehension part of my exam in time") and in the other column, write the evidence that disproves the thought ("I get A's in my science and math classes, and I do really well in English when I am able to read at my own pace.
I'm also good at soccer and singing.") -
Step 2: Set goals.
Having personal goals gives you a sense of direction and focus.
It can make it easier to shake yourself off and get back to work if you have a clear goal to work toward.
These goals can also help you make decisions — if you're unsure of what to do, you can ask yourself "does this help me achieve my goal?" Make sure you are setting SMART goals — goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Trackable.If your goal is simply "Lose weight," it's too vague to be of any help.
A SMART goal would be something like: "I am going to lose 8 pounds by March 31st by cutting 500 calories from my daily intake and taking Zumba classes three times a week." Remember that goals can be adjusted.
If you realize a goal is unrealistic (like "I'm going to lose 25 pounds in one month"), it's okay to rework the goal to something achievable.
You may also determine that your goal is no longer something that you want (maybe your goal was to get into law school, but you have realized you actually want to become a filmmaker).
It's okay to make a new goal if your priorities change. , People who are both optimistic and realistic tend to be successful.
Recognizing the possibility of a less than ideal outcome, understanding the necessity of hard work to reach a given outcome, and maintaining a positive outlook are all key to cultivating and maintaining mental resilience.When confronted with an issue or problem, don’t pigeonhole yourself into thinking there is only one solution.
Come up with plans A, B, and C and write down the positive things that can come out of each.
Try saying to yourself, “I know success is possible, but it will require hard work on my part and will include obstacles.” , After a setback it’s easy to try and sweep all your negative emotions under the rug and move on without processing your feelings.
Instead, practice mental resilience in the moment and allow yourself to feel all the feelings associated with a particular situation.
This will help you to find balance and feel less overwhelmed., Sometimes you may need to take time out of our busy schedules to process how you feel about a situation.
This can be as simple as going for a quiet walk or taking a long bath. , It’s important to debrief yourself after a less-than-ideal outcome.
Consider how you’ve dealt with similar situations in the past and recall strategies you’ve used to get through tough times.
Writing about your experiences in a journal can help you process a situation, learn the lessons presented to you, and move forward., Many of us feel entitled to a life that doesn’t include setbacks and obstacles.
This unrealistic attitude is antithetical to mental resilience.
Recognize that life is full of unexpected twists and turns and no one is entitled to an easy life.Try spending time volunteering at a local homeless shelter or food bank.
Seeing the struggles of others in your community may help you let go of feelings of entitlement. , The human experience is filled with both joy and sorrow, and it’s important to embrace emotions across that spectrum.
Allowing negative and positive feelings to coexist is critical to becoming a more resilient person.When you are feeling sad or angry, don't try to cover it up with laughter and smiles.
Instead allow yourself to feel these emotions fully. -
Step 3: Be a realistic optimist.
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Step 4: Give yourself permission to feel your emotions.
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Step 5: Set aside time to process your emotions.
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Step 6: Write about your experiences.
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Step 7: Let go of your entitlement.
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Step 8: Don’t expect to be happy all the time.
Detailed Guide
The way you look at setbacks can have a serious impact on whether or not you can muster the strength to try again.
When something doesn't turn out the way you hoped, you may have an automatic response that you're not even aware of, a response that puts an unnecessarily negative spin on the situation.
When you experience a setback, take a few deep breaths to calm down, and try to notice what messages you are giving yourself.
Challenge the thoughts that impede your resiliency.Asking yourself a few key questions may help you see where you may have road blocks to resilience.
Do you view setbacks as temporary or permanent? (For instance, do you say "Well, I didn't get that job," or, "No one is ever going to hire me"?) Do you let them affect unrelated areas of your life? (Do you say "I'm not a very fast reader," or "I'm dumb and not good at anything"?) Do you blame yourself when bad things happen? (Do you say, "That relationship didn't work out because he's not ready to commit" or "He dumped me because I'm unlovable and not a good partner"?) When you identify negative self-talk, it can help to challenge those thoughts.
You can do this by writing the statement ("I'm dumb and not good at anything") on a piece of paper, then make two columns.
In one column, write the evidence that supports the thought ("I couldn't finish the reading comprehension part of my exam in time") and in the other column, write the evidence that disproves the thought ("I get A's in my science and math classes, and I do really well in English when I am able to read at my own pace.
I'm also good at soccer and singing.")
Having personal goals gives you a sense of direction and focus.
It can make it easier to shake yourself off and get back to work if you have a clear goal to work toward.
These goals can also help you make decisions — if you're unsure of what to do, you can ask yourself "does this help me achieve my goal?" Make sure you are setting SMART goals — goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Trackable.If your goal is simply "Lose weight," it's too vague to be of any help.
A SMART goal would be something like: "I am going to lose 8 pounds by March 31st by cutting 500 calories from my daily intake and taking Zumba classes three times a week." Remember that goals can be adjusted.
If you realize a goal is unrealistic (like "I'm going to lose 25 pounds in one month"), it's okay to rework the goal to something achievable.
You may also determine that your goal is no longer something that you want (maybe your goal was to get into law school, but you have realized you actually want to become a filmmaker).
It's okay to make a new goal if your priorities change. , People who are both optimistic and realistic tend to be successful.
Recognizing the possibility of a less than ideal outcome, understanding the necessity of hard work to reach a given outcome, and maintaining a positive outlook are all key to cultivating and maintaining mental resilience.When confronted with an issue or problem, don’t pigeonhole yourself into thinking there is only one solution.
Come up with plans A, B, and C and write down the positive things that can come out of each.
Try saying to yourself, “I know success is possible, but it will require hard work on my part and will include obstacles.” , After a setback it’s easy to try and sweep all your negative emotions under the rug and move on without processing your feelings.
Instead, practice mental resilience in the moment and allow yourself to feel all the feelings associated with a particular situation.
This will help you to find balance and feel less overwhelmed., Sometimes you may need to take time out of our busy schedules to process how you feel about a situation.
This can be as simple as going for a quiet walk or taking a long bath. , It’s important to debrief yourself after a less-than-ideal outcome.
Consider how you’ve dealt with similar situations in the past and recall strategies you’ve used to get through tough times.
Writing about your experiences in a journal can help you process a situation, learn the lessons presented to you, and move forward., Many of us feel entitled to a life that doesn’t include setbacks and obstacles.
This unrealistic attitude is antithetical to mental resilience.
Recognize that life is full of unexpected twists and turns and no one is entitled to an easy life.Try spending time volunteering at a local homeless shelter or food bank.
Seeing the struggles of others in your community may help you let go of feelings of entitlement. , The human experience is filled with both joy and sorrow, and it’s important to embrace emotions across that spectrum.
Allowing negative and positive feelings to coexist is critical to becoming a more resilient person.When you are feeling sad or angry, don't try to cover it up with laughter and smiles.
Instead allow yourself to feel these emotions fully.
About the Author
Emma Russell
Experienced content creator specializing in crafts guides and tutorials.
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