How to Be Random
Use non sequiturs., Be oddly specific with what you are saying., Learn very specific facts and recite them regularly., Avoid "wandom" words., Speak about yourself in the third person., Make random noises.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Use non sequiturs.
Non sequitur is Latin for "does not follow" and describes a speaker's failure to construct an argument in a logical manner.
This phrase has been used since the time of the Caesars.
Today, the word "random" is used in basically this way, referring to the use of non sequitur for comedy.
The word "random" really refers to a process or a decision made without a conscious or systematic choice.
True randomness is unplanned, making it somewhat difficult to provide a concrete strategy for "being random." Strictly speaking, a person is not random.
A phrase or an action can seem spontaneous or unexpected, but one person is not more or less "random" than another.
You can, however, learn to be wacky and spontaneous in the way that people mean when they say "random." -
Step 2: Be oddly specific with what you are saying.
It will sound more random, or like you've got some kind of head injury.
For example, instead of saying, "A few years ago," be more specific and say, "A few years after the year before ten years ago, I was speaking to the brother of my sister's father (uncle)." Take your figures of speech to extremes. , Start thinking of the most obscure, inane, and spectacularly random details under the sun and committing them to memory.
The more you've got rattling around in your noggin'
the more random you'll be able to be.
Don't use regular colors, like "blue," use "eggshell," or "dioxane violet." Look through Liquitex paint names for ideas; my favorite of theirs is "hookers green" in your writing and your speech.
And yes, those are real colors.
The next time someone asks you to pick a number between one and ten, answer with something like "pi"
"e"
or "the square root of seven."
"Wandom" means "wannabe random," and it can be extremely heartbreaking that someone would feel the need to invent this term.
This is usually formerly random material that has been overused and is just not random anymore.
Strictly speaking, anything that you've used for joke purposes before can only be "random" once.
Wandom words include pickle, chicken, monkey, dino, penguin, purple, pie, squirrel, moo, pizza, mayonnaise, pudding, pants, rawr, socks, pony, llama, unicorn, taco (or burrito), cheese, and nose.
Of course, the randomness is fairly culturally specific to North American school culture, so feel free to ignore this step.
Use random words as you see them. , Third person means replacing "I" with your full name.
This is common to the ego-obsessed and many professional wrestlers.
If you want to take it even further, when you're speaking about the group you're in by using random alternative group concepts.
Instead of saying "we," say "our company," "our army," "the movement." Keep switching between normal speaking and these methods, and also constantly changing the replacements themselves for maximum efficacy. , Things like "mwargh" or "oooooohh" or even "bwah" and "digee" will work divinely.
You could also laugh.
A lot and randomly.
People will know you for it.
Sometimes, you can be the person who laughs and makes everyone else join in! Don't try for this, though.
You have to kind of be in your own world first. -
Step 3: Learn very specific facts and recite them regularly.
-
Step 4: Avoid "wandom" words.
-
Step 5: Speak about yourself in the third person.
-
Step 6: Make random noises.
Detailed Guide
Non sequitur is Latin for "does not follow" and describes a speaker's failure to construct an argument in a logical manner.
This phrase has been used since the time of the Caesars.
Today, the word "random" is used in basically this way, referring to the use of non sequitur for comedy.
The word "random" really refers to a process or a decision made without a conscious or systematic choice.
True randomness is unplanned, making it somewhat difficult to provide a concrete strategy for "being random." Strictly speaking, a person is not random.
A phrase or an action can seem spontaneous or unexpected, but one person is not more or less "random" than another.
You can, however, learn to be wacky and spontaneous in the way that people mean when they say "random."
It will sound more random, or like you've got some kind of head injury.
For example, instead of saying, "A few years ago," be more specific and say, "A few years after the year before ten years ago, I was speaking to the brother of my sister's father (uncle)." Take your figures of speech to extremes. , Start thinking of the most obscure, inane, and spectacularly random details under the sun and committing them to memory.
The more you've got rattling around in your noggin'
the more random you'll be able to be.
Don't use regular colors, like "blue," use "eggshell," or "dioxane violet." Look through Liquitex paint names for ideas; my favorite of theirs is "hookers green" in your writing and your speech.
And yes, those are real colors.
The next time someone asks you to pick a number between one and ten, answer with something like "pi"
"e"
or "the square root of seven."
"Wandom" means "wannabe random," and it can be extremely heartbreaking that someone would feel the need to invent this term.
This is usually formerly random material that has been overused and is just not random anymore.
Strictly speaking, anything that you've used for joke purposes before can only be "random" once.
Wandom words include pickle, chicken, monkey, dino, penguin, purple, pie, squirrel, moo, pizza, mayonnaise, pudding, pants, rawr, socks, pony, llama, unicorn, taco (or burrito), cheese, and nose.
Of course, the randomness is fairly culturally specific to North American school culture, so feel free to ignore this step.
Use random words as you see them. , Third person means replacing "I" with your full name.
This is common to the ego-obsessed and many professional wrestlers.
If you want to take it even further, when you're speaking about the group you're in by using random alternative group concepts.
Instead of saying "we," say "our company," "our army," "the movement." Keep switching between normal speaking and these methods, and also constantly changing the replacements themselves for maximum efficacy. , Things like "mwargh" or "oooooohh" or even "bwah" and "digee" will work divinely.
You could also laugh.
A lot and randomly.
People will know you for it.
Sometimes, you can be the person who laughs and makes everyone else join in! Don't try for this, though.
You have to kind of be in your own world first.
About the Author
Scott Brooks
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in home improvement and beyond.
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