How to Be Sleazy
Hair., Jewelery., Clothing., Mannerisms., Conversation., Accessories., Associates., Making Money.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Jewelery.
Sleazy men are superficial, and take great pride in their appearance.
As they generally have very little of interest to say, their image is what they will primarily be judged on, so it's vital that the right look is conveyed.
As in anything, it is best to start from the top, by making your hair as sleazy as possible.
Slicked back hair is very sleazy, as are most hairstyles that require daily maintenance.
The Steven Seagal-style slicked-back ponytail is the height of sleazy hair. -
Step 2: Clothing.
Jewelry is one of the least subtle ways of flaunting your wealth possible, and therefore is very sleazy.
Sleazy men are generally not overly wealthy however, so Jewelry is generally loud, but scarce.
Several gold chains around your neck should do the trick.
Signet rings also work well, as do earrings (usually in the left ear). , Clothing is where you'll really set yourself apart from all the clean living, healthy eating, not-paying-for-sex gents out there.
There is so much sleazy clothing out there, and even perfectly respectable clothing can be worn to sleazy effect.
Just remember the first rule of sleazy dressing: tight is right.
If it's two sizes too small, it's perfect.
Shiny is also sleazy as is loud, and purple is generally considered to be the pinnacle of sleazy colours, although from personal experience lime green also works well.
If a shirt has buttons, AT LEAST the top four should be undone.
Having all buttons undone also works well, but is often in violation of dress codes.
Pants should be incredibly tight, with loud, vulgar belts. , Exaggerate! Swing your arms more.
Open your legs wider.
Chew gum slowly.
Stare at anything and everything.
How you act is almost as important as how you dress, and it is what separates the true sleazebag from the part-timer.
Sleazy men are generally detested by other men, so in all likelihood you will only ever get to use these mannerisms on women.
Wink at them, lick your lips, and generally behave in a sexually provocative manner.
If they tell you that your company is unwanted, or that you should go away, ignore them.
Remember; patience is a virtue. , Talking should be reserved exclusively for women, as you are too busy being sleazy, sleek and seductive to waste your time on men.
When talking to them you should stare at their breasts constantly, as their faces are unimportant to you.
Talk to them confidently, with a knowing, arrogant smirk.
Make it painfully obvious that your only interest in them is as a sex object, and talk about yourself constantly.
If the conversation gets round to her, try to bring it back round to yourself, or just tell them that talking about them bores you.
Remember, conversation is just a preclusion to sleazy sex, so try to keep it as short as possible. , Get a plastic comb with a long pointed handle.
Stick it in the back pocket so that the handle sticks out.
This will give you that 70s Greaser look.
Get a motorbike. , Make more like minded buddies.
Fight among yourself.
See Fight Club for inspiration.
Go motorbiking together.
Smash beer bottles when done drinking.
Shout and make loud noises in the middle of the night. , Being sleazy is advantageous in many job occupations.
Examples are being a Drug dealer, an Illegal Bookie or Pimp.
In these cases, the client-tale practically demands you to be sleazy.
Insurance agents are sleazy, however, this drives away the clients. -
Step 3: Mannerisms.
-
Step 4: Conversation.
-
Step 5: Accessories.
-
Step 6: Associates.
-
Step 7: Making Money.
Detailed Guide
Sleazy men are superficial, and take great pride in their appearance.
As they generally have very little of interest to say, their image is what they will primarily be judged on, so it's vital that the right look is conveyed.
As in anything, it is best to start from the top, by making your hair as sleazy as possible.
Slicked back hair is very sleazy, as are most hairstyles that require daily maintenance.
The Steven Seagal-style slicked-back ponytail is the height of sleazy hair.
Jewelry is one of the least subtle ways of flaunting your wealth possible, and therefore is very sleazy.
Sleazy men are generally not overly wealthy however, so Jewelry is generally loud, but scarce.
Several gold chains around your neck should do the trick.
Signet rings also work well, as do earrings (usually in the left ear). , Clothing is where you'll really set yourself apart from all the clean living, healthy eating, not-paying-for-sex gents out there.
There is so much sleazy clothing out there, and even perfectly respectable clothing can be worn to sleazy effect.
Just remember the first rule of sleazy dressing: tight is right.
If it's two sizes too small, it's perfect.
Shiny is also sleazy as is loud, and purple is generally considered to be the pinnacle of sleazy colours, although from personal experience lime green also works well.
If a shirt has buttons, AT LEAST the top four should be undone.
Having all buttons undone also works well, but is often in violation of dress codes.
Pants should be incredibly tight, with loud, vulgar belts. , Exaggerate! Swing your arms more.
Open your legs wider.
Chew gum slowly.
Stare at anything and everything.
How you act is almost as important as how you dress, and it is what separates the true sleazebag from the part-timer.
Sleazy men are generally detested by other men, so in all likelihood you will only ever get to use these mannerisms on women.
Wink at them, lick your lips, and generally behave in a sexually provocative manner.
If they tell you that your company is unwanted, or that you should go away, ignore them.
Remember; patience is a virtue. , Talking should be reserved exclusively for women, as you are too busy being sleazy, sleek and seductive to waste your time on men.
When talking to them you should stare at their breasts constantly, as their faces are unimportant to you.
Talk to them confidently, with a knowing, arrogant smirk.
Make it painfully obvious that your only interest in them is as a sex object, and talk about yourself constantly.
If the conversation gets round to her, try to bring it back round to yourself, or just tell them that talking about them bores you.
Remember, conversation is just a preclusion to sleazy sex, so try to keep it as short as possible. , Get a plastic comb with a long pointed handle.
Stick it in the back pocket so that the handle sticks out.
This will give you that 70s Greaser look.
Get a motorbike. , Make more like minded buddies.
Fight among yourself.
See Fight Club for inspiration.
Go motorbiking together.
Smash beer bottles when done drinking.
Shout and make loud noises in the middle of the night. , Being sleazy is advantageous in many job occupations.
Examples are being a Drug dealer, an Illegal Bookie or Pimp.
In these cases, the client-tale practically demands you to be sleazy.
Insurance agents are sleazy, however, this drives away the clients.
About the Author
Emily Mitchell
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in hobbies and beyond.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: