How to Brag Without Being Arrogant

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Know when to use self-promotion.

   The most common situations in which people might brag are in forming new acquaintances, especially during job interviews or first dates.
   
   In both of these scenarios you are trying to demonstrate your worth to another person who has little to base their opinion on besides what you say.
   
   If you are on a first date, you want the person to be impressed with you and get to know more about you, but you don't want them to think that you are conceited or arrogant.
   
   One approach is to wait for your date to ask you about yourself before you volunteer information.
   
   For example, if your date has asked you if you have any hobbies, you might say, "I really like running.
   
   I got started just going for jogs around my neighborhood and kept increasing the distance little by little.
   
   I just ran my first marathon last month.
   
   Do you ever run? I would love a new running partner." This sounds more personal and less bragging than just sitting down to dinner and saying, "I am a great runner.
   
   I just ran a marathon and came in second in my age group.
   
   I am going to run 3 more marathons this year."
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   Step 2: Discuss your achievements in a team-centered way.

   Bragging often has a competitive and self-centered edge to it, but sharing credit for your accomplishments can minimize the potential for seeming arrogant.
   
   Research has shown that listeners feel more positively about people who use inclusive language (such as “we” and “team,”).
   
   For example, if you work at an architectural firm and your team just got a contract for a new building, be sure to use "we" instead of "I" when talking about the accomplishment. "After several months of hard work, we just signed a contract to design and build a new public library.
   
   It is a great opportunity for the team" sounds better than "I just scored an awesome contract to build a new building.
   
   It is going to cement the rest of my career."
   
   Also try to avoid superlative language like, “I was the best employee my previous employer ever had,” or “I always worked harder than everyone else there.” Extreme statements like these are unlikely to be true, even for the most accomplished of people and instead sound like exaggeration.
   
   Superlative statements wherein the speaker claims to be the “best” or the “greatest” (even if they might be true) tend to be identified as bragging rather than true accomplishment.
   
   For example “It was my idea to create a space where employees could speak freely about their concerns,” sounds more like bragging than, “I created a space where employees could speak freely.” Instead, try statements like, “While I worked for my previous employer, I tried my best to be dedicated and hard-working.” , By using team-oriented language and mentioning your accomplishments but spinning them in a more modest way, you can sound positive and talk yourself up without bragging.
   
   One example of a statement worded as either bragging or as a simple positive statement is as follows:
   The positive version: “My softball team had its awards dinner last night.
   
   We had a good season and so everyone was in a great mood.
   
   I even got the most valuable player award.
   
   Boy, was I surprised.
   
   I played really hard this summer, but I did it for the fun and the exercise.
   
   So I was really pleased to get the award and the recognition.
   
   I was glad to help my team finish the season so well.” The bragging version: “My softball team had its awards dinner last night.
   
   I had my best season yet, so I was in a great mood.
   
   They gave me the most valuable player award.
   
   But that was no surprise since I was the leading player all summer.
   
   Actually, I’m the best all-round player this league has ever seen.
   
   I could have my choice to play on any team I want next year, so I may be changing to a better team.” , A good trick if you’re still hesitant about bragging is to observe your own reactions to other peoples’ behavior: when you hear someone else bragging, think about why it’s bragging, and how they could rephrase what they said to no longer sound like bragging.
   
   When you find yourself concerned about bragging, ask yourself, “Is it true? How do I know it’s true?”
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   Step 3: Use caution when saying “I” and “me.” You clearly need to use first-person language in scenarios where you have to promote yourself

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   Step 4: but you should focus on emphasizing accomplishments.

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   Step 5: Turn a bragging statement into a positive statement.

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   Step 6: Observe your reaction to hearing others promote themselves.

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