How to Calm Down if Someone Has Hurt You
Stop the stress response in its tracks., Get comfortable., Inhale through your nose for a count of four., Hold your breath for a count of five., Exhale through your mouth for a count of six., Continue breathing deeply for at least 10 minutes.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Stop the stress response in its tracks.
When you are angered, upset, or hurt, your body may go into "fight or flight" mode.Your sympathetic nervous system revs up as a survival instinct, accelerating your heart rate, constricting your blood flow, raising your blood pressure, and making your breathing shallow and rapid.Breathing from your belly, or "diaphragmatic breathing," will help you quell these stress responses and feel calmer fast.
When your breathing is rapid and shallow, you don't get enough oxygen, which can make you feel like it's difficult to breathe.
It can also cause feelings of stress or anxiety.Deep breathing on a regular basis can also help you deal with stress, anger, and other strong emotions on a regular basis.
Deep breathing exercises can actually help retrain your body's immediate response to stress and keep it from going into "fight or flight" mode in the first place. -
Step 2: Get comfortable.
Sit, lie, or stand in a comfortable position that allows you to breathe without restriction.
Sitting or lying down are usually the best options, but the exercise can be done standing as well.
If you choose to sit or stand, pay attention to your posture, as slouching may limit your ability to inhale deeply.
If you can, loosen tight clothing or belts to help you breathe better. , Counting slowly, silently, will help to ensure you are breathing deeply and also help you to focus on something other than your pain.
Placing one hand on your chest and the other below your rib cage will help you to become more physically aware of your breath.You should feel your belly rise as you inhale. , If you aren't able to comfortably hold a breath for this long, try reducing the hold to a count of three.
The goal is to maintain awareness of your breathing; this isn't a contest.
Find the most comfortable rhythm for you.
Holding your breath for a few seconds will also help prevent over-breathing, which may leave you feeling dizzy or light-headed., This step often takes a few tries to master.
Again, remember this isn't a contest.
Find what is most comfortable for you.
If you are having a hard time exhaling slowly, try pursing your lips, or hissing, for better control.If you don't exhale quickly enough to empty your lungs in six seconds, try relaxing your mouth a little. , It's important to give yourself time to establish a rhythm.Regular practice can help develop this skill.
If you are having difficulty focusing on your breathing, try practicing activities that require controlled exhalation, such as:
Blowing up balloons Blowing bubbles with liquid soap Blowing a feather across a room -
Step 3: Inhale through your nose for a count of four.
-
Step 4: Hold your breath for a count of five.
-
Step 5: Exhale through your mouth for a count of six.
-
Step 6: Continue breathing deeply for at least 10 minutes.
Detailed Guide
When you are angered, upset, or hurt, your body may go into "fight or flight" mode.Your sympathetic nervous system revs up as a survival instinct, accelerating your heart rate, constricting your blood flow, raising your blood pressure, and making your breathing shallow and rapid.Breathing from your belly, or "diaphragmatic breathing," will help you quell these stress responses and feel calmer fast.
When your breathing is rapid and shallow, you don't get enough oxygen, which can make you feel like it's difficult to breathe.
It can also cause feelings of stress or anxiety.Deep breathing on a regular basis can also help you deal with stress, anger, and other strong emotions on a regular basis.
Deep breathing exercises can actually help retrain your body's immediate response to stress and keep it from going into "fight or flight" mode in the first place.
Sit, lie, or stand in a comfortable position that allows you to breathe without restriction.
Sitting or lying down are usually the best options, but the exercise can be done standing as well.
If you choose to sit or stand, pay attention to your posture, as slouching may limit your ability to inhale deeply.
If you can, loosen tight clothing or belts to help you breathe better. , Counting slowly, silently, will help to ensure you are breathing deeply and also help you to focus on something other than your pain.
Placing one hand on your chest and the other below your rib cage will help you to become more physically aware of your breath.You should feel your belly rise as you inhale. , If you aren't able to comfortably hold a breath for this long, try reducing the hold to a count of three.
The goal is to maintain awareness of your breathing; this isn't a contest.
Find the most comfortable rhythm for you.
Holding your breath for a few seconds will also help prevent over-breathing, which may leave you feeling dizzy or light-headed., This step often takes a few tries to master.
Again, remember this isn't a contest.
Find what is most comfortable for you.
If you are having a hard time exhaling slowly, try pursing your lips, or hissing, for better control.If you don't exhale quickly enough to empty your lungs in six seconds, try relaxing your mouth a little. , It's important to give yourself time to establish a rhythm.Regular practice can help develop this skill.
If you are having difficulty focusing on your breathing, try practicing activities that require controlled exhalation, such as:
Blowing up balloons Blowing bubbles with liquid soap Blowing a feather across a room
About the Author
Isabella Chavez
Writer and educator with a focus on practical lifestyle knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: