How to Care for Someone with Breast Cancer
Let your loved one lead., Talk about it., Expect change., Do your research., Go to medical appointments., Find a way to keep in touch., Ask for help., Take care of yourself., Find some time to enjoy each other.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Let your loved one lead.
Your loved one may need to talk right away or they may need space to figure out how they are feeling.
Be supportive of them either way.
For now, it is probably best to listen and let your loved one lead the conversation. -
Step 2: Talk about it.
As your loved one comes to terms with their diagnosis, you’re going to need to start thinking about logistical concerns.
Figure out what your loved one does and doesn’t want out of their cancer treatment and care.
Are they interested in surgery? Chemo? What will your insurance cover? How will you break the news to other family members, especially if you have children? , Your relationship is going to change.
You may have to take on roles they previously had, like running the household finances or cooking dinner.
Find ways to prepare for these changes before intensive treatments start.
Your loved one may not have as much energy during treatment to help you or provide accurate instructions.
Your loved one will also go through physical changes.
Expect that they may feel strange or betrayed by their body.
Reaffirm your intimacy and that you love them for many more reasons than their appearance can go a long way in easing their concerns. , Help your loved one research doctors and what your insurance covers.
Similarly, look into counseling
-- even if you think you won’t need it.
There are a variety of in-person and online support groups for both cancer patients and their caregivers.
There are also programs that can help in other areas of your life, like navigating finances or changes in your loved one’s appearance as they undergo treatment.
Start a running list of these organizations and reach out to them when you need them.
See the ‘Tips’ section for a very short list of places to start looking for counseling and other support services. , As long as your loved one is okay with it, go with them to medical appointments.
If they are hesitant to let you go, reaffirm that it helps to have an extra pair of ears (and a hand to hold).
Also consider taking notes for later. , Keeping family and friends updated on your loved one’s fight is essential.
Although it might be best to tell them about the diagnosis in person, updating them individually can be tedious.
Consider setting up an email blast or a webpage that your family and friends can check to stay in touch.
There are also pre-made webpages you can personalize (see ‘Tips’ section for examples) to keep everyone updated, fundraise, and/or ask for help. , With all of your new responsibilities, it might feel like you have too much on your plate.
Talk to relatives and friends about what they can do to help you.
Even little things, like cooking dinner or giving rides to appointments can be a huge weight off your shoulders.
If finances allow, consider hiring a part-time caretaker or nurse, or even a young neighbor to help with house/yard work. , You’re no use to anyone if you burnt out or sick.
Simple things, like eating a balanced diet and taking 5 minutes to de-stress, can keep you running at full steam.
You also need to reflect on how your loved one’s diagnosis affects you.
Find a few strategies to help you cope; they’ll be especially helpful on bad days. , It seems counter-intuitive
-- this might be the hardest time in your life.
Even so, finding small ways to enjoy your loved one will make it much easier.
Try sharing one thing a day that you are grateful for, cooking together, or watching a movie you both love.
Those little moments can make all the difference. -
Step 3: Expect change.
-
Step 4: Do your research.
-
Step 5: Go to medical appointments.
-
Step 6: Find a way to keep in touch.
-
Step 7: Ask for help.
-
Step 8: Take care of yourself.
-
Step 9: Find some time to enjoy each other.
Detailed Guide
Your loved one may need to talk right away or they may need space to figure out how they are feeling.
Be supportive of them either way.
For now, it is probably best to listen and let your loved one lead the conversation.
As your loved one comes to terms with their diagnosis, you’re going to need to start thinking about logistical concerns.
Figure out what your loved one does and doesn’t want out of their cancer treatment and care.
Are they interested in surgery? Chemo? What will your insurance cover? How will you break the news to other family members, especially if you have children? , Your relationship is going to change.
You may have to take on roles they previously had, like running the household finances or cooking dinner.
Find ways to prepare for these changes before intensive treatments start.
Your loved one may not have as much energy during treatment to help you or provide accurate instructions.
Your loved one will also go through physical changes.
Expect that they may feel strange or betrayed by their body.
Reaffirm your intimacy and that you love them for many more reasons than their appearance can go a long way in easing their concerns. , Help your loved one research doctors and what your insurance covers.
Similarly, look into counseling
-- even if you think you won’t need it.
There are a variety of in-person and online support groups for both cancer patients and their caregivers.
There are also programs that can help in other areas of your life, like navigating finances or changes in your loved one’s appearance as they undergo treatment.
Start a running list of these organizations and reach out to them when you need them.
See the ‘Tips’ section for a very short list of places to start looking for counseling and other support services. , As long as your loved one is okay with it, go with them to medical appointments.
If they are hesitant to let you go, reaffirm that it helps to have an extra pair of ears (and a hand to hold).
Also consider taking notes for later. , Keeping family and friends updated on your loved one’s fight is essential.
Although it might be best to tell them about the diagnosis in person, updating them individually can be tedious.
Consider setting up an email blast or a webpage that your family and friends can check to stay in touch.
There are also pre-made webpages you can personalize (see ‘Tips’ section for examples) to keep everyone updated, fundraise, and/or ask for help. , With all of your new responsibilities, it might feel like you have too much on your plate.
Talk to relatives and friends about what they can do to help you.
Even little things, like cooking dinner or giving rides to appointments can be a huge weight off your shoulders.
If finances allow, consider hiring a part-time caretaker or nurse, or even a young neighbor to help with house/yard work. , You’re no use to anyone if you burnt out or sick.
Simple things, like eating a balanced diet and taking 5 minutes to de-stress, can keep you running at full steam.
You also need to reflect on how your loved one’s diagnosis affects you.
Find a few strategies to help you cope; they’ll be especially helpful on bad days. , It seems counter-intuitive
-- this might be the hardest time in your life.
Even so, finding small ways to enjoy your loved one will make it much easier.
Try sharing one thing a day that you are grateful for, cooking together, or watching a movie you both love.
Those little moments can make all the difference.
About the Author
Douglas Davis
Committed to making hobbies accessible and understandable for everyone.
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