How to Change Into the Person You Desire

Clarify your desires., Choose a time in the future., Write down the character strengths that you see in your future self., Get feedback.Another aspect of self-evaluation is getting the opinions of others., Take an inventory.Review the information...

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Clarify your desires.

    Take time out for thorough self-evaluation.

    To change yourself completely, complete the Best Possible Self exercise.

    This exercise has been shown to increase positive emotions, boost optimism, help with the development of coping skills, and give you something to look forward to in your future., The time frame can be 6 months, 12 months, or 5 years from now.

    Close your eyes and imagine that, at this time, you are expressing your best possible self in all its glory.

    What have you accomplished? What skills do you have? These goals and triumphs should be both positive and realistic., Decide what characteristics you may need to build to attain this future self.

    For example, your future self may be very compassionate, innovative, and organized.

    These skills may be demonstrated in a business venture.

    Which of these skills will you need to further develop to get there?, Keep in mind, these are just opinions.

    So, don't respond negatively if you don't get raving reviews.

    You can choose which information you want to consider in your change process.

    Reach out to a few people whose feedback you respect.

    Ask them about your performance in school or work.

    See if they can point out a few areas where you are doing well and other areas where you need improvement. , Based on what attributes you would like to have in the future, what do you have and what are you lacking? Make a list detailing the strengths and values you already possess, and then create a similar list of the attributes that you must cultivate to be the person you desire. , Progress is rarely a straight-line journey.

    Instead, it is filled with loops, shortcuts, wrong turns, periods of wandering, and occasional stagnancy.

    You need to realize that change won't happen overnight.

    Understanding the stages of change can help you recognize that even a little progress is progress after all.Pre contemplation.

    In this stage, you are not quite ready to accept that you need to change (i.e. in denial).

    You may defend your bad habits when people point them out.

    Contemplation.

    Here, you become more aware of the negative consequences of your bea habits.

    You begin to think about it more often, yet you may still be skeptical about changing.

    Preparation/Determination.

    This stage is defined by a greater awareness of the problem and commitment to change.

    You may conduct research or seek out professional help to assist you with the change.

    Action/Willpower.

    In this stage of change, you lean heavily on your own willpower.

    You take active steps to change using various methods.

    This stage can last about 6 months, but can be as short as a few hours.

    Maintenance.

    This step involves actively taking measures to avoid returning to your old ways.

    You reevaluate your life and make adjustments to align with your new habits and/or values.

    You make a plan to avoid relapse.

    Relapse.

    You return to old, undesirable behaviors.

    This stage may be transient as you move through the other stages.

    The ultimate hope is that you eventually lose the desire to partake in old, bad habits.
  2. Step 2: Choose a time in the future.

  3. Step 3: Write down the character strengths that you see in your future self.

  4. Step 4: Get feedback.Another aspect of self-evaluation is getting the opinions of others.

  5. Step 5: Take an inventory.Review the information gleaned from the Best Possible Self and from feedback.

  6. Step 6: Be patient.

Detailed Guide

Take time out for thorough self-evaluation.

To change yourself completely, complete the Best Possible Self exercise.

This exercise has been shown to increase positive emotions, boost optimism, help with the development of coping skills, and give you something to look forward to in your future., The time frame can be 6 months, 12 months, or 5 years from now.

Close your eyes and imagine that, at this time, you are expressing your best possible self in all its glory.

What have you accomplished? What skills do you have? These goals and triumphs should be both positive and realistic., Decide what characteristics you may need to build to attain this future self.

For example, your future self may be very compassionate, innovative, and organized.

These skills may be demonstrated in a business venture.

Which of these skills will you need to further develop to get there?, Keep in mind, these are just opinions.

So, don't respond negatively if you don't get raving reviews.

You can choose which information you want to consider in your change process.

Reach out to a few people whose feedback you respect.

Ask them about your performance in school or work.

See if they can point out a few areas where you are doing well and other areas where you need improvement. , Based on what attributes you would like to have in the future, what do you have and what are you lacking? Make a list detailing the strengths and values you already possess, and then create a similar list of the attributes that you must cultivate to be the person you desire. , Progress is rarely a straight-line journey.

Instead, it is filled with loops, shortcuts, wrong turns, periods of wandering, and occasional stagnancy.

You need to realize that change won't happen overnight.

Understanding the stages of change can help you recognize that even a little progress is progress after all.Pre contemplation.

In this stage, you are not quite ready to accept that you need to change (i.e. in denial).

You may defend your bad habits when people point them out.

Contemplation.

Here, you become more aware of the negative consequences of your bea habits.

You begin to think about it more often, yet you may still be skeptical about changing.

Preparation/Determination.

This stage is defined by a greater awareness of the problem and commitment to change.

You may conduct research or seek out professional help to assist you with the change.

Action/Willpower.

In this stage of change, you lean heavily on your own willpower.

You take active steps to change using various methods.

This stage can last about 6 months, but can be as short as a few hours.

Maintenance.

This step involves actively taking measures to avoid returning to your old ways.

You reevaluate your life and make adjustments to align with your new habits and/or values.

You make a plan to avoid relapse.

Relapse.

You return to old, undesirable behaviors.

This stage may be transient as you move through the other stages.

The ultimate hope is that you eventually lose the desire to partake in old, bad habits.

About the Author

J

Jean Collins

A passionate writer with expertise in creative arts topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.

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