How to Combat Learned Dependency
Reconsider your interpretations of events., Change your self-talk., Notice the positive., Consider cognitive behavioral therapy.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Reconsider your interpretations of events.
People with learned dependency often believe that, when things go wrong, it’s because of their incompetence or inadequacy.
Start challenging these thoughts when they arise.
Look at situations from an objective point of view and see if you can come up with a more logical explanation for the things that happen to you.For instance, if you don’t get a job after an interview, your first thought might be, “I’m obviously unemployable.
No one will ever hire me.” Change that thought to, “They probably hired someone with more qualifications, but maybe I’ll be a better fit for the next job.” -
Step 2: Change your self-talk.
You can change the way you feel about yourself by adjusting the way you talk to yourself.
When you catch yourself being self-critical or thinking about how hopeless your situation is, force yourself to stop and replace that thought with a positive one.For example, you could change the thought “I’ll never be able to learn math” to “I’m having a hard time with math, but lots of people have learned it, and so can I.” , Instead of just paying attention to your mistakes and the bad things that happen to you, make an effort to notice your successes.
Becoming aware of your strong points will give you more ammunition to fight your negative thoughts about yourself.For example, maybe you just got rejected for an internship, but you also aced a test at school.
Focus on the test, not the internship. , Cognitive behavioral therapy is a technique that teaches people to recognize and change their negative thought patterns.
If you have trouble overcoming your learned dependency on your own, talking to a therapist who practices this technique may help you. -
Step 3: Notice the positive.
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Step 4: Consider cognitive behavioral therapy.
Detailed Guide
People with learned dependency often believe that, when things go wrong, it’s because of their incompetence or inadequacy.
Start challenging these thoughts when they arise.
Look at situations from an objective point of view and see if you can come up with a more logical explanation for the things that happen to you.For instance, if you don’t get a job after an interview, your first thought might be, “I’m obviously unemployable.
No one will ever hire me.” Change that thought to, “They probably hired someone with more qualifications, but maybe I’ll be a better fit for the next job.”
You can change the way you feel about yourself by adjusting the way you talk to yourself.
When you catch yourself being self-critical or thinking about how hopeless your situation is, force yourself to stop and replace that thought with a positive one.For example, you could change the thought “I’ll never be able to learn math” to “I’m having a hard time with math, but lots of people have learned it, and so can I.” , Instead of just paying attention to your mistakes and the bad things that happen to you, make an effort to notice your successes.
Becoming aware of your strong points will give you more ammunition to fight your negative thoughts about yourself.For example, maybe you just got rejected for an internship, but you also aced a test at school.
Focus on the test, not the internship. , Cognitive behavioral therapy is a technique that teaches people to recognize and change their negative thought patterns.
If you have trouble overcoming your learned dependency on your own, talking to a therapist who practices this technique may help you.
About the Author
Andrew Flores
Brings years of experience writing about crafts and related subjects.
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