How to Combat Loneliness
Have you ever heard the expression "don't let life happen to you, make the life you want to live happen because of you"?, Take some time with pen and paper (or use a blog site like Blogger or Tumblr) to outline and then detail why you're suddenly...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Have you ever heard the expression "don't let life happen to you
Apply the same sort of wisdom toward your social interactions if you want to develop relationships with other people that are rewarding, fun and interesting.
To do this, you're going to have to examine why as well as how you are lonely. , Think about and write down how you feel about being lonely.
Example:
I have no friends as most have gone away to school, my current friends aren't interested in what I find interesting now, I want to be able to call up someone to do X with and have them show up, I need a date and don't have quality dating candidates in my life now etc.
You may discover that you do have existing friends that just don't know you're lonely
- this is an area you can work on by just reaching out to them and asking them to do the things you want to do! It's so easy
- especially in an economy where people are losing their jobs or for any given reason don't have (or wish to spend) the money they used to spend doing the same things.
Lives change, people change and with that can come separation.
You may have also decided that someone you considered a friend really isn't a friend after all.
This is not uncommon as sometimes people violate our friendship and trust and while we should forgive them for our own peace of mind, we do not have to put up with bad behavior.
There is nothing wrong with cleaning house in the friend department; just don't make yourself suffer loneliness as a result since there is no reason to do so! There are plenty of great people out there that are probably in a similar situation and have things in common with you.
Determine why you're lonely so you can turn it around. , In other words think about the things you enjoy doing and how you want to interact with people.
Do you have specific interests or hobbies you'd like to share with a friend or a few friends? Are there new experience in life that you know exist but you have yet to experience? Thinking about the "how" of loneliness will help you determine how to go about meeting new people that are most likely to share common interests, even if it's dating. , don't isolate!) by setting goals to meet new people based upon what you've discovered about the why and how questions you took the time to answer and explore.
Examples of this are: "I'm going to do X in order to find people I want to date"
"I will find new people to do X with at least once a week (i.e. go to the movies or watch a movie in, discuss a book, have coffee, take a walk etc.). , This will help your opportunity to make new friends greater than it will be if you sit home and do nothing.
See the tips section for some information on internet sites that organize meet ups for people with common interests.
Set some goals around what you want your social circle to look like and what types of things you want to be doing that you are not currently taking part in. , you just don't have the same things in common anymore with your old social circle of sorts) Meetup.com is an excellent way to find people in your area who are interested in the things you are be it a particular genre of books, music, meditation, karaoke, video games and (gasp) singles groups that go out and meet up (thus the name meetup.com).
Check it out
- you might just find something that describes your new hobby even if you don't know it's your hobby YET! , As well, it doesn't cost much if anything to clean and getting organized has an immediate pay off that releases these great hormones in our brains that make us feel great.
It also encourages having people over after to smoothly show off our shiny digs.
If you are living in a mess now, invite a couple of people over now so you have a deadline to get things done.
If you don't have people to invite over, don't know how to clean or would rather take your time in getting organized, http://organizedhome.com, www.flylady.net and housekeeping.about.com are great sites for all things cleaning/organizing.
To some this could sound a bit odd but you can really help yourself by tidying up, deep cleaning (if applicable) and getting organized.
It gives you something to do and you might find some things that you no longer need or use that you can donate (blankets, towels go to an animal rescue, coats to the needy etc.).
In addition, a disorganized or messy living space can keep you from wanting to invite people around.
Clutter or messy living can also lead to (or be a symptom of) depression which also can become isolating. , Even some web based contact with the world (i.e. using your iPhone, Blackberry etc. to communicate to the world via Twitter, Facebook or Myspace can give you more social contacting than staring at a wall and may lead to actually meeting people).
Plus, calling a friend will often help if you're in a social slump. ,, Be brave! People are almost always willing to have a friendly conversation.
The proof? This article and millions like it exist! , People can be just awful and some far worse than others.
Don't put up with your "friend" that steals from you/takes advantage of you, talks smack on you behind your back or even treats you like trash.
If you have an issue that can be worked out, you know it can be worked out though if you have discovered that your friend has changed in a bad way (become involved in drugs, theft, lies etc., turned out to be someone you don't like or just a jerk) it is FAR better to have no friends at all than one that will hurt you with no regard for making amends or getting help.
I'm not saying to ditch a friend during bad times rather don't let yourself become a doormat for someone amoral.
I promise you will lose so much more than you gain and actually may suffer much pain.
You can find people who will appreciate you for you.
Never allow yourself to be used or treated poorly over and over! , Be sure, however, if you are going to do this you seriously think about it for the sake of the animal and do not do it on an impulse.
Rescuing an animal from a shelter can offer a greater bond and sense of self-worth since without you the animal may have gotten put to sleep. , -
Step 2: make the life you want to live happen because of you"?
, -
Step 3: Take some time with pen and paper (or use a blog site like Blogger or Tumblr) to outline and then detail why you're suddenly (if so sudden or not) lonely.
-
Step 4: do the same sort of exercise in thinking about and writing out the how of your loneliness.
-
Step 5: Make it your mission to interact with people as often as possible (i.e.
-
Step 6: Search around your area for ways to run into people such as parks and libraries.
-
Step 7: If you find that your current social pickings are slim or dated (i.e.
-
Step 8: Cleaning and organizing your home are a great way to pass the time and focus on improving your surroundings.
-
Step 9: If you own a cell phone
-
Step 10: iTouch or other web enabled device
-
Step 11: take the time to learn all that you can about the device and any social networking applications or features it does or can have.
-
Step 12: If you have an MP3 player (iPod
-
Step 13: Zune for examples) look into the peer to peer capabilities these devices have or may provide access to (for example: iPod Touch provides access to Facebook and other social networks as well as some iPhone apps and Zune has a music and video community with the WiFi features that come with the device out of box but you have to sign up via their website first) new people online and socialize/share music.
-
Step 14: If you are trying to get someone to talk to you
-
Step 15: don't act overly lonely or talk on a cell phone/use your iPod to distract.
-
Step 16: Do not settle for bad friends!
-
Step 17: Getting a new pet that can provide unconditional love during difficult times can really help to combat loneliness.
-
Step 18: Getting a new pet that can provide unconditional love during difficult times can really help to combat loneliness.
-
Step 19: Be sure
-
Step 20: however
-
Step 21: if you are going to do this you seriously think about it for the sake of the animal and do not do it on an impulse.
-
Step 22: Rescuing and animal from a shelter can offer a greater bond and sense of self-worth since without you the animal may have gotten put to sleep.
Detailed Guide
Apply the same sort of wisdom toward your social interactions if you want to develop relationships with other people that are rewarding, fun and interesting.
To do this, you're going to have to examine why as well as how you are lonely. , Think about and write down how you feel about being lonely.
Example:
I have no friends as most have gone away to school, my current friends aren't interested in what I find interesting now, I want to be able to call up someone to do X with and have them show up, I need a date and don't have quality dating candidates in my life now etc.
You may discover that you do have existing friends that just don't know you're lonely
- this is an area you can work on by just reaching out to them and asking them to do the things you want to do! It's so easy
- especially in an economy where people are losing their jobs or for any given reason don't have (or wish to spend) the money they used to spend doing the same things.
Lives change, people change and with that can come separation.
You may have also decided that someone you considered a friend really isn't a friend after all.
This is not uncommon as sometimes people violate our friendship and trust and while we should forgive them for our own peace of mind, we do not have to put up with bad behavior.
There is nothing wrong with cleaning house in the friend department; just don't make yourself suffer loneliness as a result since there is no reason to do so! There are plenty of great people out there that are probably in a similar situation and have things in common with you.
Determine why you're lonely so you can turn it around. , In other words think about the things you enjoy doing and how you want to interact with people.
Do you have specific interests or hobbies you'd like to share with a friend or a few friends? Are there new experience in life that you know exist but you have yet to experience? Thinking about the "how" of loneliness will help you determine how to go about meeting new people that are most likely to share common interests, even if it's dating. , don't isolate!) by setting goals to meet new people based upon what you've discovered about the why and how questions you took the time to answer and explore.
Examples of this are: "I'm going to do X in order to find people I want to date"
"I will find new people to do X with at least once a week (i.e. go to the movies or watch a movie in, discuss a book, have coffee, take a walk etc.). , This will help your opportunity to make new friends greater than it will be if you sit home and do nothing.
See the tips section for some information on internet sites that organize meet ups for people with common interests.
Set some goals around what you want your social circle to look like and what types of things you want to be doing that you are not currently taking part in. , you just don't have the same things in common anymore with your old social circle of sorts) Meetup.com is an excellent way to find people in your area who are interested in the things you are be it a particular genre of books, music, meditation, karaoke, video games and (gasp) singles groups that go out and meet up (thus the name meetup.com).
Check it out
- you might just find something that describes your new hobby even if you don't know it's your hobby YET! , As well, it doesn't cost much if anything to clean and getting organized has an immediate pay off that releases these great hormones in our brains that make us feel great.
It also encourages having people over after to smoothly show off our shiny digs.
If you are living in a mess now, invite a couple of people over now so you have a deadline to get things done.
If you don't have people to invite over, don't know how to clean or would rather take your time in getting organized, http://organizedhome.com, www.flylady.net and housekeeping.about.com are great sites for all things cleaning/organizing.
To some this could sound a bit odd but you can really help yourself by tidying up, deep cleaning (if applicable) and getting organized.
It gives you something to do and you might find some things that you no longer need or use that you can donate (blankets, towels go to an animal rescue, coats to the needy etc.).
In addition, a disorganized or messy living space can keep you from wanting to invite people around.
Clutter or messy living can also lead to (or be a symptom of) depression which also can become isolating. , Even some web based contact with the world (i.e. using your iPhone, Blackberry etc. to communicate to the world via Twitter, Facebook or Myspace can give you more social contacting than staring at a wall and may lead to actually meeting people).
Plus, calling a friend will often help if you're in a social slump. ,, Be brave! People are almost always willing to have a friendly conversation.
The proof? This article and millions like it exist! , People can be just awful and some far worse than others.
Don't put up with your "friend" that steals from you/takes advantage of you, talks smack on you behind your back or even treats you like trash.
If you have an issue that can be worked out, you know it can be worked out though if you have discovered that your friend has changed in a bad way (become involved in drugs, theft, lies etc., turned out to be someone you don't like or just a jerk) it is FAR better to have no friends at all than one that will hurt you with no regard for making amends or getting help.
I'm not saying to ditch a friend during bad times rather don't let yourself become a doormat for someone amoral.
I promise you will lose so much more than you gain and actually may suffer much pain.
You can find people who will appreciate you for you.
Never allow yourself to be used or treated poorly over and over! , Be sure, however, if you are going to do this you seriously think about it for the sake of the animal and do not do it on an impulse.
Rescuing an animal from a shelter can offer a greater bond and sense of self-worth since without you the animal may have gotten put to sleep. ,
,
About the Author
Matthew Bell
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: