How to Communicate Feelings Without Self Harm
Join an online forum., Call or text a hotline., Talk to your health care provider., Approach a trusted adult., Talk to a trusted friend or peer.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Join an online forum.
If you aren’t comfortable talking to someone you know, try an online group set-up for individuals going through similar issues you are.
They are typically anonymous and a great way to connect with others who know a little bit about how you are feeling.
National Self-Harm Network, http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum Recover Your Life, http://www.recoveryourlife.com/ -
Step 2: Call or text a hotline.
Like joining a forum, volunteers and employees at hotlines know something about your experience and can help you deal with your emotions in a healthy way instead of hurting yourself.S.A.F.E.
Alternatives (Self-Abuse Finally Ends)– 1-800-366-8288 (US) Your Life Your Voice – 1-800-448-3000, or text VOICE to 20121 (US) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK (US) Lifeline is not just for suicidal callers.
They can help with any emotional distress or crisis, and if they can’t, they will direct you to someone who can! Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (UK) Kids and teens can call Kids Help Phone – 1-800-668-6868 (Canada) , They can help you find a specialist in self-harm or another appropriate counselor to help you further.
They can also treat any wounds and help you avoid permanent scarring if you go soon enough.
Start by saying something like, “I think I need some help finding a counselor for self-harm,” or “I would like a referral to see someone to help me with emotional issues/trauma.” If you aren’t comfortable showing them your injuries, at least ask for a referral to a mental health professional who will likely respond better than a general practitioner might. , This could be a teacher, coach, school counselor, friend of the family or relative.
Pick someone you trust to keep your conversation confidential.
Start off with a summary of the problem causing you to harm yourself, if you aren’t yet comfortable showing them the effects. “I’ve been struggling with how to deal with……” is a good way to start.
Note that an adult at school may be legally obligated to report any serious intention to hurt yourself, so start with the situation or emotions that trigger you to do so.
If you are practicing self-harm and want to talk to someone, but don’t know how to start, try using a ‘report card’ to open up a conversation, like the one available at http://www.nshn.co.uk/downloads/Self_harm_report_card.pdf. , It may be difficult to open up about your self-harming behavior with others, so choose someone you can trust not to betray your confidence. “I really need to talk to someone about ______, and you are one of the few people I trust,” is a great way to engage them.
You might want to start off by talking about the issues causing you to self-harm rather than the actions used.
Focusing on thoughts and feelings instead of the action will help them to understand the reasons behind the action rather than reacting only to the self-destructive behaviors.If speaking in person is too hard, try beginning the conversation with a written note or email.
This may be easier for you in opening the topic and will give them some time to get over any initial shock so they can focus on the actual problems, not your coping behaviors.It might be helpful to print out information about self-harm from a trusted source to give to your friend/peer when you first tell them about it, especially if it is someone who really cares about your health and well-being.
Information from any of the resources used in this article would be appropriate. -
Step 3: Talk to your health care provider.
-
Step 4: Approach a trusted adult.
-
Step 5: Talk to a trusted friend or peer.
Detailed Guide
If you aren’t comfortable talking to someone you know, try an online group set-up for individuals going through similar issues you are.
They are typically anonymous and a great way to connect with others who know a little bit about how you are feeling.
National Self-Harm Network, http://www.nshn.co.uk/forum Recover Your Life, http://www.recoveryourlife.com/
Like joining a forum, volunteers and employees at hotlines know something about your experience and can help you deal with your emotions in a healthy way instead of hurting yourself.S.A.F.E.
Alternatives (Self-Abuse Finally Ends)– 1-800-366-8288 (US) Your Life Your Voice – 1-800-448-3000, or text VOICE to 20121 (US) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK (US) Lifeline is not just for suicidal callers.
They can help with any emotional distress or crisis, and if they can’t, they will direct you to someone who can! Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (UK) Kids and teens can call Kids Help Phone – 1-800-668-6868 (Canada) , They can help you find a specialist in self-harm or another appropriate counselor to help you further.
They can also treat any wounds and help you avoid permanent scarring if you go soon enough.
Start by saying something like, “I think I need some help finding a counselor for self-harm,” or “I would like a referral to see someone to help me with emotional issues/trauma.” If you aren’t comfortable showing them your injuries, at least ask for a referral to a mental health professional who will likely respond better than a general practitioner might. , This could be a teacher, coach, school counselor, friend of the family or relative.
Pick someone you trust to keep your conversation confidential.
Start off with a summary of the problem causing you to harm yourself, if you aren’t yet comfortable showing them the effects. “I’ve been struggling with how to deal with……” is a good way to start.
Note that an adult at school may be legally obligated to report any serious intention to hurt yourself, so start with the situation or emotions that trigger you to do so.
If you are practicing self-harm and want to talk to someone, but don’t know how to start, try using a ‘report card’ to open up a conversation, like the one available at http://www.nshn.co.uk/downloads/Self_harm_report_card.pdf. , It may be difficult to open up about your self-harming behavior with others, so choose someone you can trust not to betray your confidence. “I really need to talk to someone about ______, and you are one of the few people I trust,” is a great way to engage them.
You might want to start off by talking about the issues causing you to self-harm rather than the actions used.
Focusing on thoughts and feelings instead of the action will help them to understand the reasons behind the action rather than reacting only to the self-destructive behaviors.If speaking in person is too hard, try beginning the conversation with a written note or email.
This may be easier for you in opening the topic and will give them some time to get over any initial shock so they can focus on the actual problems, not your coping behaviors.It might be helpful to print out information about self-harm from a trusted source to give to your friend/peer when you first tell them about it, especially if it is someone who really cares about your health and well-being.
Information from any of the resources used in this article would be appropriate.
About the Author
Daniel Jenkins
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow practical skills tutorials.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: