How to Communicate with a Mentally Challenged Person
Don't assume that someone has an intellectual disability based on the ease of their speech., Accept their quirks., Recognize that ability varies from day to day.Stress, sensory overload, lack of sleep, how hard they pushed themselves this morning...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don't assume that someone has an intellectual disability based on the ease of their speech.
Some people who have difficulty speaking, such as people with cerebral palsy and some autistic people, are on average just as smart as anyone else.
A disability accent, slow speech, or halting speech doesn't always mean an intellectual disability.
People who can't speak can be of any intelligence level.
Body language does not relate to intelligence either.
Looking away while listening, and fidgeting constantly, are typical autistic traits.
Don't assume that this means they aren't paying close attention, or that they can't understand. -
Step 2: Accept their quirks.
Disabled people may do things that society considers unusual: making sounds, flopping to the ground when frustrated, flapping their hands, running in circles, echoing phrases, pacing constantly, and more.
Most of this behavior serves a purpose—calming themselves down, communicating their needs, expressing feelings, or simply having fun.
Recognize that it's okay to be different, and that there's no need to worry about behavior that doesn't hurt anyone. , If they are having a harder time today than they did yesterday, remember that they aren't doing this on purpose, and work on being patient. , People with intellectual and developmental disabilities may not word things in the same way as people without disabilities.
Their wording might not make sense to you.
Instead, ask them questions to clarify what they're trying to say.For example, if your friend asks "Where's the thing?" then ask questions about what type of thing they mean (a little thing? what color? a cell phone?).
Sometimes, they might be searching for a word.
For example, if they're asking about food, and there are many types of food, then start narrowing it down.
Maybe they're saying "food" when they want to ask about strawberries. , It's absolutely okay to ask "How can I accommodate you?" or "Are there any parts of your disability that I should be aware of?" Most people would rather have you ask them than assume who they are or what they need.
As long as you're well-meaning and respectful, it'll be fine.
If you want to know how to handle a specific situation, ask them.For example, "I notice that sometimes when we meet new people, they have a hard time understanding you and you can be left out.
How do you want me to handle this?"
When speaking to a person who has a disability accent, some people ask "what did you say?" once and then let their eyes glaze over and pretend to listen.Keep trying to connect.
Make it clear that what they have to say is important to you.
A useful phrase is "I'm having trouble understanding you, but I care about what you're saying."If verbal communication is too hard, try texting, typing on a tablet, writing, using sign language (if you know it), or another form of alternative communication.Work with them to figure out what is best. , Ask about their day, their favorite book or TV show, their interests, or their family and friends.
This will help you get to know them, and you might make a new friend! -
Step 3: Recognize that ability varies from day to day.Stress
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Step 4: sensory overload
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Step 5: lack of sleep
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Step 6: how hard they pushed themselves this morning
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Step 7: and other factors can determine how easy it is for someone to communicate and perform other tasks.
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Step 8: Ask questions if you don't understand their wording.
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Step 9: If you don't know
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Step 10: Don't give up on them.
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Step 11: Find conversation topics that interest them.
Detailed Guide
Some people who have difficulty speaking, such as people with cerebral palsy and some autistic people, are on average just as smart as anyone else.
A disability accent, slow speech, or halting speech doesn't always mean an intellectual disability.
People who can't speak can be of any intelligence level.
Body language does not relate to intelligence either.
Looking away while listening, and fidgeting constantly, are typical autistic traits.
Don't assume that this means they aren't paying close attention, or that they can't understand.
Disabled people may do things that society considers unusual: making sounds, flopping to the ground when frustrated, flapping their hands, running in circles, echoing phrases, pacing constantly, and more.
Most of this behavior serves a purpose—calming themselves down, communicating their needs, expressing feelings, or simply having fun.
Recognize that it's okay to be different, and that there's no need to worry about behavior that doesn't hurt anyone. , If they are having a harder time today than they did yesterday, remember that they aren't doing this on purpose, and work on being patient. , People with intellectual and developmental disabilities may not word things in the same way as people without disabilities.
Their wording might not make sense to you.
Instead, ask them questions to clarify what they're trying to say.For example, if your friend asks "Where's the thing?" then ask questions about what type of thing they mean (a little thing? what color? a cell phone?).
Sometimes, they might be searching for a word.
For example, if they're asking about food, and there are many types of food, then start narrowing it down.
Maybe they're saying "food" when they want to ask about strawberries. , It's absolutely okay to ask "How can I accommodate you?" or "Are there any parts of your disability that I should be aware of?" Most people would rather have you ask them than assume who they are or what they need.
As long as you're well-meaning and respectful, it'll be fine.
If you want to know how to handle a specific situation, ask them.For example, "I notice that sometimes when we meet new people, they have a hard time understanding you and you can be left out.
How do you want me to handle this?"
When speaking to a person who has a disability accent, some people ask "what did you say?" once and then let their eyes glaze over and pretend to listen.Keep trying to connect.
Make it clear that what they have to say is important to you.
A useful phrase is "I'm having trouble understanding you, but I care about what you're saying."If verbal communication is too hard, try texting, typing on a tablet, writing, using sign language (if you know it), or another form of alternative communication.Work with them to figure out what is best. , Ask about their day, their favorite book or TV show, their interests, or their family and friends.
This will help you get to know them, and you might make a new friend!
About the Author
Christine Harris
Brings years of experience writing about pet care and related subjects.
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