How to Control Your Emotions

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Control your breathing.

   Emotions are a combination of cognition (thinking) and physical responses.
   
   Your brain reacts to physical stimuli first and then interprets them as emotions.
   
   For example, in the case of fear, your brain has to process automatic physiological reactions such as dry mouth and elevated heart rate before it can interpret these things as the emotion we understand to be “fear.”You can counter these physiological responses by controlling your breathing.
   
   Breath control is only one step in controlling your emotions, but it’s an easy one to start with.Anger and other stress responses elevate your heart rate and blood pressure (which is why being angry consistently is a predictor of heart disease).Find a comfortable, quiet place if possible.
   
   Removing any stressful stimuli will help your brain stop paying attention to those stimuli.Take a normal breath first.
   
   Then inhale very slowly through your nose.
   
   Allow your chest and belly to expand as you fill your lungs with air.
   
   You may find it helpful to place a hand on your lower abdomen to see whether it is expanding.
   
   Inhale for the count of
   4.
   
   Hold the breath for the count of
   4.
   
   Exhale slowly through your mouth or nose.
   
   Try to exhale for the count of
   4.
   
   Aim for 6-10 deep breaths per minute.
2. 2

   Step 2: Keep your head up.

   Literally.
   
   Moods manifest themselves physically.
   
   Nonverbal communication not only affects how others see us, but also how we see ourselves.You express your emotions through your face, so being thoughtful about how you use your face and head can help you feel more in control.
   
   Keep your jaw and mouth relaxed.
   
   Pressing your lips together or clenching your jaw can make you feel tense or uneasy.
   
   It’s often a sign that you are angry.
   
   Keep your mouth and jaw area relaxed.(You can learn to relax these muscles by using progressive muscle relaxation, if you need.) Smile.
   
   Research has shown that smiling can actually make you feel happier.Hold your head up and make eye contact.
   
   Aim for eye contact at least 50% of the time when you are speaking to someone, and about 70% of the time when you are listening.
   
   This communicates that you are confident and in charge of yourself and also willing to listen to others., You can communicate assertiveness and confidence simply by holding your body in certain ways.
   
   Changing your posture will also help you feel more in control of your own emotions.
   
   Body language is more ingrained in your body than you might think, and it can have a powerful effect on how you feel about yourself.Try a “power pose.” One study asked some people to take on “high power” poses, where the body is open and large, and others to take on “low power” poses, where the body is small and closed.
   
   Testing revealed that the “high power” posers had increased testosterone levels, a hormone that can make you feel powerful.
   
   However, “low power” posers had increased cortisol, a stress hormone that can make you feel insecure.Body language can affect you emotionally on a chemical level! Stand and sit comfortably.
   
   Plant your feet shoulder-width apart and distribute your weight evenly across your body.
   
   Don’t fidget, wiggle, or shift your weight from leg to leg.
   
   These actions communicate that you don’t feel secure in yourself.
   
   Keep your movements smooth and relaxed.
   
   Passive body language is tense, shut down, and withdrawn.
   
   It isolates you from others.
   
   Keep your movements relaxed and smooth, rather than jerky or fidgety.
   
   Avoid gestures such as pointing.
   
   Try using an open palm to direct someone’s attention instead., How often do you hear of someone going for a run to help their bad mood? All the time.
   
   Your body releases natural mood-boosting chemicals called endorphins when you you exercise.Several studies have shown that people who get regular exercise feel more energetic, calm, and positive about their lives.Even moderate exercise, such as gardening or walking, can provide these benefits.
   
   Exercise will also heat up your body.Physical warmth has a calming effect on many people.
   
   Exercise can provide you with a way to achieve goals, such as completing a run or swimming a certain number of laps.
   
   This can help you boost self-confidence and remind yourself that you’re in charge., If you feel yourself festering, get up and surround yourself with different stimuli.
   
   Your brain has a tendency to get stuck in a loop, like a broken record.
   
   When you think about the same thing over and over again, this is called “rumination,” and it’s not healthy.
   
   When you ruminate, you don’t problem-solve or tackle a situation from different perspectives, you sit and stew.
   
   Changing up your environment, even momentarily, can break a rumination cycle.Even a two-minute distraction can help break a rumination cycle!Look for activities that focus on positive things that are meaningful to you, such as a favorite hobby or a moment of spirituality.
   
   Chat with a friend or loved one.
   
   Take a moment to appreciate something beautiful around you., Meditation can actually rewire how your brain responds to stressful stimuli, helping you feel more in control.Studies have shown that meditation improves your concentration, boosts your immune system, reduces your stress response, and strengthens your self-control.Even meditating 20 minutes a day has significant health benefits.There are many different types of meditation you can learn to practice.
   
   Find one that works for you.
   
   In meditation, the goal is to find “optimal arousal,” a balance between relaxation and alertness.If you are too relaxed during meditation, you may fall asleep rather than meditate.
   
   If you are too wound up, you will have a hard time getting out of your head.You will find that it takes practice and consistency to learn how to meditate.
   
   You may even find that a class can help you “get out of your head.” Several resources online offer guided meditations you can download in MP3 format.
   
   MIT has both relaxation and mindfulness meditations.The UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center has downloadable or streaming audio for guided meditations., Mindfulness meditation is a specific type of meditation, and its effectiveness is supported by many scientific studies.Mindfulness meditation improves your concentration and allows you to accept your emotions without judging them or yourself.
   
   This can help you feel more balanced and in control of your emotions.Shoken Winecoff Roshi, a Zen Buddhist Monk at the Ryumonji Zen Monastery, offers the following steps for mindfulness meditation:
   Find a quiet comfortable place.
   
   Get into a comfortable position.
   
   Loosen any tight or uncomfortable clothing.
   
   Take a few deep breaths and focus on what you see.
   
   What colors do you see? What shapes? What sizes? Focus on the details of your surroundings.
   
   After you have spent some time focusing on what you see, close your eyes.
   
   Focus on what you hear.
   
   Are the sounds high or low pitched? Are they short or long? After you have spent some time with your sense of hearing, move your focus to what you feel.
   
   Notice how your clothes feel.
   
   Notice how the air feels.
   
   Is it cool or warm? Are you sitting on something hard or soft? Finally, move your focus just to your breathing.
   
   Keep your focus on your breathing for several minutes.
   
   Try to just observe your thoughts as you focus on breathing slowly, in and out.
   
   When a thought arises, do not judge it or yourself.
   
   Let the thought arise and fade away and bring your attention back to your breathing.
   
   Your goal is to become aware of the present moment, without speculating about the future or judging the past.
   
   After you have spent some time breathing, reverse your focus to turn your attention back outward.
   
   Being by focusing on what you feel, then what you hear, and finally what you see. , Progressive muscle relaxation helps you release built-up tension by systematically tensing and relaxing muscles in your body.
   
   Using PMR can help you control your emotions by giving you a way to actively release tension in your body, which can contribute to feelings of anxiety and irritability.Take about 15 minutes for yourself in a quiet, relaxing environment.
   
   Try to find a place without distractions or interruptions.
   
   Sit down and make yourself comfortable.
   
   Loosen tight clothing and breathe deeply.
   
   You can begin from your toes and work your way up, or begin at your forehead and work your way down.
   
   Either way, you will be “progressing” through groups of muscles.
   
   Start with the group of muscles you have chosen as your starting point.
   
   For example, begin at your head by tensing the group of muscles in your forehead.
   
   Raise your eyebrows are far as they will go.
   
   Hold this for 5 seconds, then release.
   
   Then, frown as intensely as you can.
   
   Hold this for 5 seconds, then release.
   
   Progress through other muscle groups, holding the tension for 5 seconds and then releasing.
   
   You will tense groups including the eyes, lips, hands, forearms, upper arms, chest, shoulders, back, stomach, hips and buttocks, thighs, calves, feet and toes.
3. 3

   Step 3: Use assertive body language.

4. 4

   Step 4: Get some exercise.

5. 5

   Step 5: Take a break.

6. 6

   Step 6: Meditate.

7. 7

   Step 7: Practice mindfulness meditation.

8. 8

   Step 8: Practice progressive muscle relaxation.

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