How to Convince Someone to Use DuckDuckGo

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Examine your own motives.

   Remember that they are their own person, and you need to respect their decisions, even if you disagree with them.
   
   Be zen about it.
   
   Repeat out loud, to yourself, by yourself, the following affirmation: "I accept and respect ___'s individuality." This may seem silly but if you're actually getting bent out of shape over what someone else is doing on their phone or computer, this can come across as condescending (and in a way, it is) so it's good to remember not to get frustrated over the choices other people make.
2. 2

   Step 2: Read up on how to Practice Nonviolent Communication.

   This is a great opportunity to practice your communication skills, which may or may not benefit your cause here, but will definitely benefit the strength and resiliency of your relationship (any relationship) in general. , Try to avoid lacing it with your evaluation of the facts.
   
   Just state the facts.
   
   Instead of saying "I noticed you've been selling your search soul to Google" say "I noticed you've been using Google to search the Internet." Better yet, do this when they actually do a search in front of you, to show that you're being observant.
   
   Let's say they looks up movie times on her phone: "Hey, are those Google search results?"
   
   Vulnerable feelings like fear and love are more effective in scenarios with significant others and some close family members than feelings like anger, and the opposite may be true for friends.
   
   While saying, "I'm pissed that Google has all your data stored in their servers and is sharing it with advertisers and the government" may be effective for your poker buddies, "I'm scared that the NSA knows what movies I watch with my kids" may be better for a significant other, as could be "It's scary to me that Google collects data on so many facets of our life." Paraphrase as needed. , Note that this does not simply mean saying "I need you to switch to DuckDuckGo for all your Internet searches." Dig a little deeper.
   
   Try something like "I need to feel like I connect with someone who has many of the same values as I do, and Internet privacy is something I value strongly."
   
   Remember, it's a request, not a demand.
   
   A good starting point might be: "Since our lives and thus our data are intertwined, would it be okay if I changed the default search engine on your phone and browser to DuckDuckGo?" If they respond negatively, it's time to compromise.
   
   There are a few things you can do here:
   Ask them why they're averse to changing their default search engine.
   
   See How to Be a Good Listener.
   
   Ask if there is anything they value strongly that you can do to share in the value.
   
   Suggest that they try it out only for a week or a month, and if they don't like it, you'll change everything back. , If they don't want to use DuckDuckGo, let it go.
3. 3

   Step 3: State your observation.

4. 4

   Step 4: State your feelings.

5. 5

   Step 5: State your need.

6. 6

   Step 6: Make a request.

7. 7

   Step 7: Remember that no means no.

Detailed Guide

About the Author