How to Convince Yourself That You're Happy Being Alone
Trust your feelings and instincts., Know your values., Explore and express your unique identity., Create a purpose and positive goals., Learn the difference between being alone and being lonely.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Trust your feelings and instincts.
If you are feeling unhappy with being alone, there is a reason for this feeling.
People may feel negative emotions when there is something wrong with their environment.Thus, perhaps you are sad because you are alone and should work toward being less alone, or feeling better when you are alone.
Trying to convince yourself of something that isn’t true (that you are happy being alone) will probably not work and can even lead to you feeling worse.
Instead of trying to convince or lie to yourself that you are happy, work toward actually feeling happy.
Look at your feelings as useful information.The next time you are feeling unhappy with being alone, trust this feeling.
Tell yourself, "I trust my feelings.
I am unhappy being alone.
I can try to fix this." -
Step 2: Know your values.
Your values dictate your behaviors.If you understand your personal values you can be more in tune with yourself, which can increase your ability to feel comfortable being alone.
Pay attention to your culture and traditions.
If you engage in spiritual or cultural traditions, think of ways you can do these activities when you are alone.
Make a list of things you value in life (ideas, material possessions).
This list might look like: family, friends, home, trust, honesty, love, respect, culture, and religion.
Consider ways that you can honor these values even when you are by yourself.
Are there goals you can work toward in regard to your family, home, or religion? , In order to feel happy with being alone you may first need to accept and love who you are.
If you are uncomfortable with yourself, you may not like spending time alone and may feel you need other people to distract or validate you.
You are an interesting and unique individual.
Take the time to get to know yourself and improve your self-confidence.
Knowing who you are is about owning your personal identity.
Try writing down the many positive characteristics you have such as: an outgoing personality, kindness, compassion, enthusiasm, passion, love, and empathy.
Do something to express yourself.
Maybe bleach your hair or do something else that will help you feel different and stand out in the crowd.
Focus on what you are good at.
Focus on the positive rather than the negative.
For example, even though you may not be very good at singing, you may be very good at acting.
Make a list of what you are good at such as: socializing, painting, dancing, or playing an instrument.
Try to think of ways you can engage in these activities while you are alone. , Having a purpose in life is associated with happiness and positive well-being.Without a purpose you may feel especially vulnerable when being alone and think that life lacks meaning or substance.
In order to find out what your current purpose is, think about what you want to be remembered for in your life.
Do you want people to remember you as a person who: helped people, gave to the needy, wrote a great book, was a good person, or owned a business? Another way to identify your purpose is to go back and look at your personal values.
Your purpose will help you get closer to those values.
For example, if you value family, perhaps part of your purpose is to have a family of your own and nurture them.
Remember that you are not limited to a single purpose in life.
You can have as many purposes and specific goals as you want.
Write down all of the purposes you have such as a certain career, places you want to explore or travel to, and the type of family you want (kids, etc).
Focus on self-improvement and achievement.
For example, if you are really concerned about your lack of ability (perhaps in singing) then you could take lessons to get better. , Being alone doesn't mean you are automatically lonely – in fact, you don't even need to be alone to experience loneliness.Loneliness can be described as a feeling of social isolation or dissatisfaction with relationships, and is often a result of the person telling themselves "no one likes me."Loneliness is often activated by an emotional trigger, from a break up or death of a loved one to a friend not picking up when you call.If you are feeling lonely, acknowledge that you are feeling bad and ask yourself, "What can I choose do to stop feeling lonely?" Instead of falling into activities that discourage social contact or productivity, like zoning out in front of the TV, try to go for a walk, do some artwork, write a letter, read, or play with a pet. -
Step 3: Explore and express your unique identity.
-
Step 4: Create a purpose and positive goals.
-
Step 5: Learn the difference between being alone and being lonely.
Detailed Guide
If you are feeling unhappy with being alone, there is a reason for this feeling.
People may feel negative emotions when there is something wrong with their environment.Thus, perhaps you are sad because you are alone and should work toward being less alone, or feeling better when you are alone.
Trying to convince yourself of something that isn’t true (that you are happy being alone) will probably not work and can even lead to you feeling worse.
Instead of trying to convince or lie to yourself that you are happy, work toward actually feeling happy.
Look at your feelings as useful information.The next time you are feeling unhappy with being alone, trust this feeling.
Tell yourself, "I trust my feelings.
I am unhappy being alone.
I can try to fix this."
Your values dictate your behaviors.If you understand your personal values you can be more in tune with yourself, which can increase your ability to feel comfortable being alone.
Pay attention to your culture and traditions.
If you engage in spiritual or cultural traditions, think of ways you can do these activities when you are alone.
Make a list of things you value in life (ideas, material possessions).
This list might look like: family, friends, home, trust, honesty, love, respect, culture, and religion.
Consider ways that you can honor these values even when you are by yourself.
Are there goals you can work toward in regard to your family, home, or religion? , In order to feel happy with being alone you may first need to accept and love who you are.
If you are uncomfortable with yourself, you may not like spending time alone and may feel you need other people to distract or validate you.
You are an interesting and unique individual.
Take the time to get to know yourself and improve your self-confidence.
Knowing who you are is about owning your personal identity.
Try writing down the many positive characteristics you have such as: an outgoing personality, kindness, compassion, enthusiasm, passion, love, and empathy.
Do something to express yourself.
Maybe bleach your hair or do something else that will help you feel different and stand out in the crowd.
Focus on what you are good at.
Focus on the positive rather than the negative.
For example, even though you may not be very good at singing, you may be very good at acting.
Make a list of what you are good at such as: socializing, painting, dancing, or playing an instrument.
Try to think of ways you can engage in these activities while you are alone. , Having a purpose in life is associated with happiness and positive well-being.Without a purpose you may feel especially vulnerable when being alone and think that life lacks meaning or substance.
In order to find out what your current purpose is, think about what you want to be remembered for in your life.
Do you want people to remember you as a person who: helped people, gave to the needy, wrote a great book, was a good person, or owned a business? Another way to identify your purpose is to go back and look at your personal values.
Your purpose will help you get closer to those values.
For example, if you value family, perhaps part of your purpose is to have a family of your own and nurture them.
Remember that you are not limited to a single purpose in life.
You can have as many purposes and specific goals as you want.
Write down all of the purposes you have such as a certain career, places you want to explore or travel to, and the type of family you want (kids, etc).
Focus on self-improvement and achievement.
For example, if you are really concerned about your lack of ability (perhaps in singing) then you could take lessons to get better. , Being alone doesn't mean you are automatically lonely – in fact, you don't even need to be alone to experience loneliness.Loneliness can be described as a feeling of social isolation or dissatisfaction with relationships, and is often a result of the person telling themselves "no one likes me."Loneliness is often activated by an emotional trigger, from a break up or death of a loved one to a friend not picking up when you call.If you are feeling lonely, acknowledge that you are feeling bad and ask yourself, "What can I choose do to stop feeling lonely?" Instead of falling into activities that discourage social contact or productivity, like zoning out in front of the TV, try to go for a walk, do some artwork, write a letter, read, or play with a pet.
About the Author
Debra Adams
Brings years of experience writing about cooking and related subjects.
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