How to Cope With Being Hurt Online
Acknowledge your feelings., Take a step back from the situation., Put the exclusion in perspective., Resist the urge to take it personally.When others reject us, it is not because of anything we could or should have done better., Seek support from...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Acknowledge your feelings.
Just because the rejection occurred online, that doesn't mean that you won't still be feeling the strong sadness of being broken up with, ignored, or excluded.
Ostracism is inherently painful--our basic needs for belonging and recognition are unmet.Knowing your feelings surrounding the rejection will allow you to slowly start to let them go, creating the distance needed to heal.
The idea here is simply to let yourself feel some of this hurt--how rejection feels to you--so that you can tell when you're over the incident.
Feeling your feelings will also help you get back in the game.
The next time you show interest in someone's profile and start dating, you will not be harboring resentment or defeat from the previous setback. -
Step 2: Take a step back from the situation.
Moving away from the incident can help you to work out what has happened with greater clarity.
Take the time to assess your own behavior that could have caused the rejection or unfriending.Staying online will keep you hurting and without the crucial distance to see if some of your online habits are off-putting to others, like making crude comments or posting excessively.
For instance, some people are very good in person; they smile, flirt, and make eye contact.
But, that same person might not know how to communicate very well through text, appearing cold and distant.
Time examining your online personality can show you quirks and features of your behavior that you may want to be aware of.
Try taking a week long break from the particular site or even off the whole internet to give yourself the space to come to terms and reflect.
Especially if the relationship was exclusively online, give yourself time before making a new connection on the same dating website. , The best thing about online friends and suitors is that there are so many of them—enough that you don’t need to get attached to any one person or site.Take advantage of the fact that if someone unfriends, dumps, or ignores you online, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
You may even embrace having the incompatibility between you and the person brought to your attention.
Consider, but don't dwell on the other's qualities that you find unattractive in order to move on.
This way you won't feel tempted to continue pursuing the person or interrogating them about the rejection, and you can move on fluidly. , More often than not, it's the person's reaction against something we've done that feels threatening to them.For instance, say you’ve been rejected on an online dating site.
Since most people lack insight about their relationship patterns, they may be unconsciously looking for a person who can fulfill that pattern.In many instances, the problem is with the match rather than baggage you carry into all situations. , If the source of your pain is online, a good way to create distance is to shift the focus of your social life.Make it a point to do most of your dating and socializing face-to-face while you're getting over the rejection.
This way, you'll see that people you talk to online are only one of many sources of closeness and connection in your life.
If possible, shorten your time spent on the the internet.
If you fill your time with sharing experiences and getting outside instead, you will be less likely to ruminate on the situation.It's the equivalent of taking a vacation when dealing with a painful issue that arises close to home. -
Step 3: Put the exclusion in perspective.
-
Step 4: Resist the urge to take it personally.When others reject us
-
Step 5: it is not because of anything we could or should have done better.
-
Step 6: Seek support from friends and family.
Detailed Guide
Just because the rejection occurred online, that doesn't mean that you won't still be feeling the strong sadness of being broken up with, ignored, or excluded.
Ostracism is inherently painful--our basic needs for belonging and recognition are unmet.Knowing your feelings surrounding the rejection will allow you to slowly start to let them go, creating the distance needed to heal.
The idea here is simply to let yourself feel some of this hurt--how rejection feels to you--so that you can tell when you're over the incident.
Feeling your feelings will also help you get back in the game.
The next time you show interest in someone's profile and start dating, you will not be harboring resentment or defeat from the previous setback.
Moving away from the incident can help you to work out what has happened with greater clarity.
Take the time to assess your own behavior that could have caused the rejection or unfriending.Staying online will keep you hurting and without the crucial distance to see if some of your online habits are off-putting to others, like making crude comments or posting excessively.
For instance, some people are very good in person; they smile, flirt, and make eye contact.
But, that same person might not know how to communicate very well through text, appearing cold and distant.
Time examining your online personality can show you quirks and features of your behavior that you may want to be aware of.
Try taking a week long break from the particular site or even off the whole internet to give yourself the space to come to terms and reflect.
Especially if the relationship was exclusively online, give yourself time before making a new connection on the same dating website. , The best thing about online friends and suitors is that there are so many of them—enough that you don’t need to get attached to any one person or site.Take advantage of the fact that if someone unfriends, dumps, or ignores you online, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
You may even embrace having the incompatibility between you and the person brought to your attention.
Consider, but don't dwell on the other's qualities that you find unattractive in order to move on.
This way you won't feel tempted to continue pursuing the person or interrogating them about the rejection, and you can move on fluidly. , More often than not, it's the person's reaction against something we've done that feels threatening to them.For instance, say you’ve been rejected on an online dating site.
Since most people lack insight about their relationship patterns, they may be unconsciously looking for a person who can fulfill that pattern.In many instances, the problem is with the match rather than baggage you carry into all situations. , If the source of your pain is online, a good way to create distance is to shift the focus of your social life.Make it a point to do most of your dating and socializing face-to-face while you're getting over the rejection.
This way, you'll see that people you talk to online are only one of many sources of closeness and connection in your life.
If possible, shorten your time spent on the the internet.
If you fill your time with sharing experiences and getting outside instead, you will be less likely to ruminate on the situation.It's the equivalent of taking a vacation when dealing with a painful issue that arises close to home.
About the Author
Nathan Young
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in practical skills and beyond.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: