How to Cope with the Fear of Abandonment with a Mental Disorder
Identify the thoughts that trigger your fear., Think about which of your behaviors push people away., Think about how to deal with your feelings in a healthier way., Set boundaries with yourself., Practice fact-checking.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify the thoughts that trigger your fear.
Trace your fear of abandonment back to its source.
Ask yourself which situations or people make you feel insecure, and why.
Figuring out where your fear originates can help you create a plan to overcome it.For instance, someone who was abandoned by their mother as a child might later be afraid that other important women in their life will leave them.
Try to become aware of your state of emotions and how your body reacts when these fears are triggered.
Do you feel sick to your stomach? Do you get a headache or feel hot and begin to sweat? Becoming aware of your emotions and these signs that you have been triggered can help you know when to employ healthy coping strategies. -
Step 2: Think about which of your behaviors push people away.
Ask yourself how you act when you’re feeling insecure.
Identify any fear-based habits and impulsive behaviors that may be driving people away from you.For example, you might start texting a romantic partner too much throughout the day when you become afraid they might leave you. , You won't conquer your fear of abandonment overnight, but it’s important to consider how your behavior affects your friends and family members.
Brainstorm some alternative ways to handle your fears so you don’t suffocate or scare off the people around you.For instance, instead of texting your significant other all day, you might decide to limit yourself to one text and go for a walk around the block when your anxiety becomes difficult to handle.
Try deep breathing, mindful meditation, exercise, and other calming activities when you feel like you want to act out.
If you have a therapist, connect with them to discuss healthy coping strategies. , Take responsibility for your actions by creating some ground rules for yourself.
If you engage in some behaviors that you know aren’t okay, commit to ending those behaviors.For example, if you’ve been testing your partner by shouting at them when you get upset, create a new boundary with yourself about not doing that anymore. , When your fear of abandonment flares up, ask yourself if your anxiety is based on facts or feelings.
If you’re already feeling insecure, it can be easy to misinterpret innocent gestures and remarks as a sign that someone is about to leave you.
Fact checking can help you overcome these irrational assumptions.For instance, if your friend says she can’t come and see you today, don’t jump to the conclusion that she doesn’t like you anymore.
Logically, it’s more likely that she just has something else to do. -
Step 3: Think about how to deal with your feelings in a healthier way.
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Step 4: Set boundaries with yourself.
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Step 5: Practice fact-checking.
Detailed Guide
Trace your fear of abandonment back to its source.
Ask yourself which situations or people make you feel insecure, and why.
Figuring out where your fear originates can help you create a plan to overcome it.For instance, someone who was abandoned by their mother as a child might later be afraid that other important women in their life will leave them.
Try to become aware of your state of emotions and how your body reacts when these fears are triggered.
Do you feel sick to your stomach? Do you get a headache or feel hot and begin to sweat? Becoming aware of your emotions and these signs that you have been triggered can help you know when to employ healthy coping strategies.
Ask yourself how you act when you’re feeling insecure.
Identify any fear-based habits and impulsive behaviors that may be driving people away from you.For example, you might start texting a romantic partner too much throughout the day when you become afraid they might leave you. , You won't conquer your fear of abandonment overnight, but it’s important to consider how your behavior affects your friends and family members.
Brainstorm some alternative ways to handle your fears so you don’t suffocate or scare off the people around you.For instance, instead of texting your significant other all day, you might decide to limit yourself to one text and go for a walk around the block when your anxiety becomes difficult to handle.
Try deep breathing, mindful meditation, exercise, and other calming activities when you feel like you want to act out.
If you have a therapist, connect with them to discuss healthy coping strategies. , Take responsibility for your actions by creating some ground rules for yourself.
If you engage in some behaviors that you know aren’t okay, commit to ending those behaviors.For example, if you’ve been testing your partner by shouting at them when you get upset, create a new boundary with yourself about not doing that anymore. , When your fear of abandonment flares up, ask yourself if your anxiety is based on facts or feelings.
If you’re already feeling insecure, it can be easy to misinterpret innocent gestures and remarks as a sign that someone is about to leave you.
Fact checking can help you overcome these irrational assumptions.For instance, if your friend says she can’t come and see you today, don’t jump to the conclusion that she doesn’t like you anymore.
Logically, it’s more likely that she just has something else to do.
About the Author
Larry Gonzalez
Experienced content creator specializing in organization guides and tutorials.
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