How to Create a Positive in Vitro Fertilization Experience
Talk with your partner., Set limits., Use humor., Be honest about money., Talking with your doctor and nurses., Lean on family and friends.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Talk with your partner.
If you are completing IVF with a partner, it is important to maintain the solid foundation of your relationship.
Consider your opinions on everything, from which doctor you work with, to the number of eggs to be transplanted.
Talk, but also listen actively.
Ask questions and speak up (respectfully) if you disagree with something.
Maintaining open communication will be especially helpful if you must make difficult decisions, such as if you must consider selective fetal reduction (a process in which the number of embryos are reduced to prevent multiple pregnancies).
Ask your partner, “How do you feel about reduction at this moment? How do you think you will feel about it five years from now, or 10 years?” Ask for your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
You might say, “What does your heart tell you? What does your head tell you?” Then answer the same questions for them. -
Step 2: Set limits.
Spend a maximum of 20 minutes each day discussing IVF with your partner.
Anything else that needs to be said can wait until tomorrow.
Don’t let IVF take over every aspect of your life.Before you even start the process, decide when you will need to stop if it is not successful.
Knowing that the process will have an end point can help you get through the rough times and give it your all.
It is important to emphasize the positive.
As part of your 20 minutes, state at least one of your hopes for the future.
For example, “I hope we get to buy little baby booties.” Ask your partner, “How many traditional IVF cycles should we undergo?” or, “How many months do you think we can handle this emotionally?”, While sitting in the waiting room, tell a silly joke or chuckle about something goofy that your partner did in the past.
After a round of appointments, go see a funny movie or a stand up comic to celebrate.
Laughter reduces pain awareness and enhances quality of life.See if you can find something funny about the process.
For example, the time requirements of IVF injections may result in you getting one in an odd location, such as an elevator.
Say, “Well that was a memorable elevator ride!”, Sit down with your partner and create a clear budget showing money coming in and going out, prior to the IVF process.
Then, see what monies you can realistically allocate.
Investigate what, if any, treatments your insurance will cover.
Cutting down on expenses, taking on additional employment, or even liquidating investments are some revenue-generating options.
A single IVF treatment can cost between $12,000 to $17,000.
Keep in mind that many people require multiple cycles to be successful., Frequent, face-to-face interactions with the medical team are important.
You will likely be interacting with nurses more often than you see the doctor, so take the time to get to know the nurses and establish a positive relationship.
Before you even arrive, write down a list of your most critical questions and concerns.
Prioritize the questions and make it your goal to get five of the most important ones answered.
If you feel unsatisfied at the end of the current appointment, make another one just for discussion.
Keep your queries specific and direct.
Instead of asking, “What should I do after implantation?”, you might say, “Should I rest after implantation and, if so, for how long?” Don’t be afraid to reach out to the medical team via email or the phone.
If you did not get your questions answered in person, type them up and send them, flagging the email as “Important.” Patients are only usually able to speak for 12 seconds before being interrupted by their physician.
So, be assertive and re-direct the conversation back to you by stating, “Can we pause for a moment and address the questions that I prepared?”, Give you friends and family a good idea as to your appointment schedule and request volunteers to accompany you.
Even if they stay in the waiting room, you will want support for many of your meetings with doctors, ultrasound technicians, etc.
If you are expecting a phone call with news about the results of your implantation, for example, ask a close friend to spend that day with you (if your partner is not available).
You will want someone there to celebrate with or to comfort you if things didn't go as planned.
Getting assistance from people close to you also gives you an opportunity to educate them about the process of IVF.
You might say, “Would you like to come speak to the doctor with me?” This will also decrease the likelihood of them saying hurtful things out of ignorance. -
Step 3: Use humor.
-
Step 4: Be honest about money.
-
Step 5: Talking with your doctor and nurses.
-
Step 6: Lean on family and friends.
Detailed Guide
If you are completing IVF with a partner, it is important to maintain the solid foundation of your relationship.
Consider your opinions on everything, from which doctor you work with, to the number of eggs to be transplanted.
Talk, but also listen actively.
Ask questions and speak up (respectfully) if you disagree with something.
Maintaining open communication will be especially helpful if you must make difficult decisions, such as if you must consider selective fetal reduction (a process in which the number of embryos are reduced to prevent multiple pregnancies).
Ask your partner, “How do you feel about reduction at this moment? How do you think you will feel about it five years from now, or 10 years?” Ask for your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
You might say, “What does your heart tell you? What does your head tell you?” Then answer the same questions for them.
Spend a maximum of 20 minutes each day discussing IVF with your partner.
Anything else that needs to be said can wait until tomorrow.
Don’t let IVF take over every aspect of your life.Before you even start the process, decide when you will need to stop if it is not successful.
Knowing that the process will have an end point can help you get through the rough times and give it your all.
It is important to emphasize the positive.
As part of your 20 minutes, state at least one of your hopes for the future.
For example, “I hope we get to buy little baby booties.” Ask your partner, “How many traditional IVF cycles should we undergo?” or, “How many months do you think we can handle this emotionally?”, While sitting in the waiting room, tell a silly joke or chuckle about something goofy that your partner did in the past.
After a round of appointments, go see a funny movie or a stand up comic to celebrate.
Laughter reduces pain awareness and enhances quality of life.See if you can find something funny about the process.
For example, the time requirements of IVF injections may result in you getting one in an odd location, such as an elevator.
Say, “Well that was a memorable elevator ride!”, Sit down with your partner and create a clear budget showing money coming in and going out, prior to the IVF process.
Then, see what monies you can realistically allocate.
Investigate what, if any, treatments your insurance will cover.
Cutting down on expenses, taking on additional employment, or even liquidating investments are some revenue-generating options.
A single IVF treatment can cost between $12,000 to $17,000.
Keep in mind that many people require multiple cycles to be successful., Frequent, face-to-face interactions with the medical team are important.
You will likely be interacting with nurses more often than you see the doctor, so take the time to get to know the nurses and establish a positive relationship.
Before you even arrive, write down a list of your most critical questions and concerns.
Prioritize the questions and make it your goal to get five of the most important ones answered.
If you feel unsatisfied at the end of the current appointment, make another one just for discussion.
Keep your queries specific and direct.
Instead of asking, “What should I do after implantation?”, you might say, “Should I rest after implantation and, if so, for how long?” Don’t be afraid to reach out to the medical team via email or the phone.
If you did not get your questions answered in person, type them up and send them, flagging the email as “Important.” Patients are only usually able to speak for 12 seconds before being interrupted by their physician.
So, be assertive and re-direct the conversation back to you by stating, “Can we pause for a moment and address the questions that I prepared?”, Give you friends and family a good idea as to your appointment schedule and request volunteers to accompany you.
Even if they stay in the waiting room, you will want support for many of your meetings with doctors, ultrasound technicians, etc.
If you are expecting a phone call with news about the results of your implantation, for example, ask a close friend to spend that day with you (if your partner is not available).
You will want someone there to celebrate with or to comfort you if things didn't go as planned.
Getting assistance from people close to you also gives you an opportunity to educate them about the process of IVF.
You might say, “Would you like to come speak to the doctor with me?” This will also decrease the likelihood of them saying hurtful things out of ignorance.
About the Author
Jose Patel
Committed to making hobbies accessible and understandable for everyone.
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