How to Deal With a Jealous Person

Don’t be alarmed if someone talks or acts negatively around you., Notice if the person only seems to see the good things and doesn’t seem to notice the bad in your life., Ask yourself if your friend or partner feels threatened or insecure in your...

5 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Don’t be alarmed if someone talks or acts negatively around you.

    Jealousy can cause people to think negative things that are untrue about themselves and the relationships they are in.A person who is feeling jealous of you may take the things you say and do personally, even when your statements/actions are not directed toward him.

    For example, if you are out together and you are sleepy and need to go home early because you have had a long day, he may feel as though you are bored by him.Do not be defensive in response to his negativity.

    Instead, be open about what is going on with you.

    For example, say “The reason why I am yawning is not because of you.

    I enjoy hanging out with you.

    I am sleepy because I had to wake up at five in the morning to be at work early for a meeting.”
  2. Step 2: Notice if the person only seems to see the good things and doesn’t seem to notice the bad in your life.

    Some people experience jealousy because they have difficulty understanding the complexity of the lives of others.

    This is because they are preoccupied with their own insecurities.

    If you notice how often someone brings up how well things are going for you, and she seems resentful about it, remind her that there is a lot going on in your life that she may not necessarily be aware of.You may be unable to change a jealous person’s perspective, but you can start sharing with her the struggles and challenges you face in life.

    For example, you can say, “When we were on the camping trip, I got so lost that I almost decided to turn around and go home after just one day.” , This can cause them to see other people as a threat.

    For example, the person may talk about how great your relationships are with other people because he doesn't feel like he is as close with you, and this makes him jealous.

    Unfortunately, the good relationships you have make him feel threatened, even though you may not feel the same way or even compare the two relationships yourself. , Social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and others can make everyone’s life look perfect.

    Typically, people post pictures and stories about their best moments, leaving out all the struggles and fears they are facing.

    For some people, this can lead to strong feelings of jealousy.

    This distorted view may make these people feel like they know who you are and about your life when they do not.Consider changing the privacy settings on your social media page if you feel this is a problem for you. , If you understand what it is that is making a person jealous, you may be able to improve the situation by changing your behavior.

    If the person becomes jealous when she hears about your new boyfriend, avoid taking about him when this person is present.

    Do not allow this person to see pictures of you and your boyfriend on social media.

    Don’t schedule time together with your boyfriend and this person.

    Be aware though, that you should find a solution to this problem that helps the person be OK with your new relationship, rather than just hiding it from her.

    Sometimes, it is best for you to give the person some space.

    When you do see the person, keep the conversations short and focused.

    You can say something positive and then move on.

    For example, if this is a colleague you can say something like, “I heard you did really well on that sales call.

    Keep up the good work!”
  3. Step 3: Ask yourself if your friend or partner feels threatened or insecure in your relationship.Some people struggle with jealousy because they are afraid that you will leave them.

  4. Step 4: Recognize that social media can exacerbate the problem.

  5. Step 5: Learn how and when to distance yourself from a jealous person.

Detailed Guide

Jealousy can cause people to think negative things that are untrue about themselves and the relationships they are in.A person who is feeling jealous of you may take the things you say and do personally, even when your statements/actions are not directed toward him.

For example, if you are out together and you are sleepy and need to go home early because you have had a long day, he may feel as though you are bored by him.Do not be defensive in response to his negativity.

Instead, be open about what is going on with you.

For example, say “The reason why I am yawning is not because of you.

I enjoy hanging out with you.

I am sleepy because I had to wake up at five in the morning to be at work early for a meeting.”

Some people experience jealousy because they have difficulty understanding the complexity of the lives of others.

This is because they are preoccupied with their own insecurities.

If you notice how often someone brings up how well things are going for you, and she seems resentful about it, remind her that there is a lot going on in your life that she may not necessarily be aware of.You may be unable to change a jealous person’s perspective, but you can start sharing with her the struggles and challenges you face in life.

For example, you can say, “When we were on the camping trip, I got so lost that I almost decided to turn around and go home after just one day.” , This can cause them to see other people as a threat.

For example, the person may talk about how great your relationships are with other people because he doesn't feel like he is as close with you, and this makes him jealous.

Unfortunately, the good relationships you have make him feel threatened, even though you may not feel the same way or even compare the two relationships yourself. , Social media like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and others can make everyone’s life look perfect.

Typically, people post pictures and stories about their best moments, leaving out all the struggles and fears they are facing.

For some people, this can lead to strong feelings of jealousy.

This distorted view may make these people feel like they know who you are and about your life when they do not.Consider changing the privacy settings on your social media page if you feel this is a problem for you. , If you understand what it is that is making a person jealous, you may be able to improve the situation by changing your behavior.

If the person becomes jealous when she hears about your new boyfriend, avoid taking about him when this person is present.

Do not allow this person to see pictures of you and your boyfriend on social media.

Don’t schedule time together with your boyfriend and this person.

Be aware though, that you should find a solution to this problem that helps the person be OK with your new relationship, rather than just hiding it from her.

Sometimes, it is best for you to give the person some space.

When you do see the person, keep the conversations short and focused.

You can say something positive and then move on.

For example, if this is a colleague you can say something like, “I heard you did really well on that sales call.

Keep up the good work!”

About the Author

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Cynthia Martin

Writer and educator with a focus on practical home improvement knowledge.

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