How to Deal With a Know It All
Try to be understanding., Think first before responding., Lead by example., Offer constructive feedback., Agree on a resolution.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Try to be understanding.
Most know-it-alls have a reason for acting this way.
Whether it is a personality disorder, the need for excessive admiration, or arrogance, know-it-alls have issues that have to be addressed.
Trying to understand where they are coming from could go a long way in empathizing with their condition.
Try to tolerate a know-it-alls behavior and avoid the impulsive fight-or-flight response by understanding that differences between people will always exist.
The root to all understanding is respect.
It is unreasonable to think that anybody would suddenly conform to your ideas, which took you a lifetime to develop no matter how strong your perspective.
If you want a know-it-all to respect your opinions, you will have to respect theirs as well.
Only when you can appreciate a know-it-all for who they are can you finally realize and understand where they are coming from. -
Step 2: Think first before responding.
Since know-it-alls are annoying it is easy to respond in anger or worse.
Therefore, take time to calm down and diffuse your anger before thinking of an appropriate response.
Typically, taking time to think about the situation might even increase your confidence in dealing with somebody who “knows it all.” By thinking first, you can formulate a better response.
Most people think of responding while the person in conversation is still speaking and you do not listen to everything being said.
When responding to a know-it-all, it is best to have a clear, thoughtful, and pertinent reply that is more likely to be accepted by them.
Stopping to think prevents saying stupid things that destroy friendships, start fights, or create awkward situations.
It also does nothing to solve your issues with the know-it-all.
A thoughtful response also receives more respect.
It is tough enough for a know-it-all to accept a response that is not their own, but a thoughtful and considerate response will more likely be accepted. , Do not be afraid to say “I don’t know” around a know-it-all because this demonstrates that it is okay not to always know the answer.
Being a model of appropriate behavior might open the door for others to feel confident in not knowing, including know-it-alls.
Follow up statements by asking questions and getting diverse ideas to illustrate flexibility and inclusion.
Saying “I don’t know,” can also build trust by demonstrating openness, vulnerability and honesty.
Other ways to say “I don’t know”: “I don’t know the answer to that, but I’m anxious to find out”; “Let me tell you what I know, and what I’m still learning”; and “I can’t tell you that with certainty.
I do have an informed opinion on it which is…” , Believe it or not, know-it-alls might be ignorant to the fact that their behavior is negatively impacting others.
If you detect this, take them out for a coffee or set up an appointment in private to discuss it gently and respectfully.
Although know-it-alls often exude confidence, they are oftentimes suffering from insecurity.
You will have to stroke their ego or compliment their range of knowledge before informing them of their negative impact.
Soften the blow by telling them that it is important that everybody gets a chance to add their input because it provides a sense of community. , Any solution dealing with a know-it-all should evolve from a trusting relationship for it to work.
Try to speak assertively and respectfully while working out a solution until the behavior changes.
If the respect is mutual, the know-it-all will try to work out a resolution with you.
Consider the know-it-all’s perspective by not relating everything they do to evilness, stubbornness, or unkindness.
Remember that you do not always have to accept their opinions, simply just acknowledge them.
Keep an open mind and good attitude to help solve any issues.
Be patient and listen to what is being communicated.
If you are not sure, ask for clarity or explanation. -
Step 3: Lead by example.
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Step 4: Offer constructive feedback.
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Step 5: Agree on a resolution.
Detailed Guide
Most know-it-alls have a reason for acting this way.
Whether it is a personality disorder, the need for excessive admiration, or arrogance, know-it-alls have issues that have to be addressed.
Trying to understand where they are coming from could go a long way in empathizing with their condition.
Try to tolerate a know-it-alls behavior and avoid the impulsive fight-or-flight response by understanding that differences between people will always exist.
The root to all understanding is respect.
It is unreasonable to think that anybody would suddenly conform to your ideas, which took you a lifetime to develop no matter how strong your perspective.
If you want a know-it-all to respect your opinions, you will have to respect theirs as well.
Only when you can appreciate a know-it-all for who they are can you finally realize and understand where they are coming from.
Since know-it-alls are annoying it is easy to respond in anger or worse.
Therefore, take time to calm down and diffuse your anger before thinking of an appropriate response.
Typically, taking time to think about the situation might even increase your confidence in dealing with somebody who “knows it all.” By thinking first, you can formulate a better response.
Most people think of responding while the person in conversation is still speaking and you do not listen to everything being said.
When responding to a know-it-all, it is best to have a clear, thoughtful, and pertinent reply that is more likely to be accepted by them.
Stopping to think prevents saying stupid things that destroy friendships, start fights, or create awkward situations.
It also does nothing to solve your issues with the know-it-all.
A thoughtful response also receives more respect.
It is tough enough for a know-it-all to accept a response that is not their own, but a thoughtful and considerate response will more likely be accepted. , Do not be afraid to say “I don’t know” around a know-it-all because this demonstrates that it is okay not to always know the answer.
Being a model of appropriate behavior might open the door for others to feel confident in not knowing, including know-it-alls.
Follow up statements by asking questions and getting diverse ideas to illustrate flexibility and inclusion.
Saying “I don’t know,” can also build trust by demonstrating openness, vulnerability and honesty.
Other ways to say “I don’t know”: “I don’t know the answer to that, but I’m anxious to find out”; “Let me tell you what I know, and what I’m still learning”; and “I can’t tell you that with certainty.
I do have an informed opinion on it which is…” , Believe it or not, know-it-alls might be ignorant to the fact that their behavior is negatively impacting others.
If you detect this, take them out for a coffee or set up an appointment in private to discuss it gently and respectfully.
Although know-it-alls often exude confidence, they are oftentimes suffering from insecurity.
You will have to stroke their ego or compliment their range of knowledge before informing them of their negative impact.
Soften the blow by telling them that it is important that everybody gets a chance to add their input because it provides a sense of community. , Any solution dealing with a know-it-all should evolve from a trusting relationship for it to work.
Try to speak assertively and respectfully while working out a solution until the behavior changes.
If the respect is mutual, the know-it-all will try to work out a resolution with you.
Consider the know-it-all’s perspective by not relating everything they do to evilness, stubbornness, or unkindness.
Remember that you do not always have to accept their opinions, simply just acknowledge them.
Keep an open mind and good attitude to help solve any issues.
Be patient and listen to what is being communicated.
If you are not sure, ask for clarity or explanation.
About the Author
Janice Hayes
Brings years of experience writing about crafts and related subjects.
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