How to Deal with a Stepchild
Respect the child’s level of comfort with you., Treat stepchildren as you would your own children., Participate in your stepchild’s education.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Respect the child’s level of comfort with you.
You want to make a positive impression on any stepchildren in your life, but be patient about doing so.
The key to developing a positive relationship with your stepchild is allowing them to set the pace.Know that younger children will come to desire a closer relationship with you, even if they seem to resist you at first.
Focus on taking small, positive steps that let them know you’re interested in them and in their lives.
With older stepchildren or those that you may see less often, ask about their day-to-day lives, but don’t be intrusive.
Keep it simple, with questions like, “Hey ____, what was the best part of your day today?” -
Step 2: Treat stepchildren as you would your own children.
If you have had children of your own, and especially if everyone is living together, treat any children you’re helping raise as your own.Always emphasize a familial approach to your interactions.
Assign younger stepchildren chores.
Asking them to share household responsibilities will indicate that you see them as part of your family.
Don’t single stepchildren of any age out with special treatment, or treat them as though they are a guest, as this may make them feel like you don’t consider them to be a part of your family.
Older stepchildren, or those you see less often, may actively try not to bond with you.
Based on their age and the larger context, you may have to accept this, at least at first.
Treat your stepchild respectfully nonetheless. , Participating in school events that involve your stepchild will show them that you care about them.
Even if only by attending extracurricular events at first, demonstrate your interest in what they do.Attend parent-teacher conferences.
Ideally, you’ll be able to do this with your partner, but if they are unable to attend, don’t hesitate to attend on your own.
With school-age children, offer to review homework.
Don’t push if they don’t want you to do so; simply indicate that you are willing to do so.
Older stepchildren may not need – nor want – your involvement in their education.
Especially if both of their biological parents are actively involved in a child’s education already, don’t be intrusive if your involvement is not wanted or otherwise unhelpful. -
Step 3: Participate in your stepchild’s education.
Detailed Guide
You want to make a positive impression on any stepchildren in your life, but be patient about doing so.
The key to developing a positive relationship with your stepchild is allowing them to set the pace.Know that younger children will come to desire a closer relationship with you, even if they seem to resist you at first.
Focus on taking small, positive steps that let them know you’re interested in them and in their lives.
With older stepchildren or those that you may see less often, ask about their day-to-day lives, but don’t be intrusive.
Keep it simple, with questions like, “Hey ____, what was the best part of your day today?”
If you have had children of your own, and especially if everyone is living together, treat any children you’re helping raise as your own.Always emphasize a familial approach to your interactions.
Assign younger stepchildren chores.
Asking them to share household responsibilities will indicate that you see them as part of your family.
Don’t single stepchildren of any age out with special treatment, or treat them as though they are a guest, as this may make them feel like you don’t consider them to be a part of your family.
Older stepchildren, or those you see less often, may actively try not to bond with you.
Based on their age and the larger context, you may have to accept this, at least at first.
Treat your stepchild respectfully nonetheless. , Participating in school events that involve your stepchild will show them that you care about them.
Even if only by attending extracurricular events at first, demonstrate your interest in what they do.Attend parent-teacher conferences.
Ideally, you’ll be able to do this with your partner, but if they are unable to attend, don’t hesitate to attend on your own.
With school-age children, offer to review homework.
Don’t push if they don’t want you to do so; simply indicate that you are willing to do so.
Older stepchildren may not need – nor want – your involvement in their education.
Especially if both of their biological parents are actively involved in a child’s education already, don’t be intrusive if your involvement is not wanted or otherwise unhelpful.
About the Author
Nicholas Richardson
Committed to making DIY projects accessible and understandable for everyone.
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