How to Deal With an Insecure Person
Create boundaries of interaction., Help to redirect their insecurity to something positive., Avoid spending too much time on emotionally draining people., Explore trust issues with a jealous partner., Be in control of your own emotions.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Create boundaries of interaction.
People who struggle with insecurity may need constant reassurance and support, which you can't always provide.
Talk with them about boundaries so that you don't feel overwhelmed or frustrated by their behavior.
For example, if you're in a relationship with someone who's insecure, they may want to know what you're doing and where you are.
While it's important to check in with them via phone or text, talk with them ahead of time about boundaries when you're out or away from them.
Stick to what you both agree to do.
Perhaps you have a co-worker or classmate who seems to need your constant attention.
Define good times to talk and interact with them.
Consider saying things like, "I want to be available for you, but I also have some work to do.
Why don't we talk after class or at lunch?" -
Step 2: Help to redirect their insecurity to something positive.
Insecure people are often anxious about something or someone.
Maybe they have been hurt by old boyfriends.
Maybe they've been bullied about the way they look.
Help to reduce their anxiety and focus on positive thoughts.
Act as a reminder when they seem to be focusing on the negative, and try to redirect their thoughts to positive things.
For example, "I know those people can be mean, but remember that you have my support, and the support of your friends." If the conversation appears fixated on the negative, refocus the conversation on something positive that you see in them or neutral topic of conversation.
Consider complimenting them for something.
Or discuss topics of mutual interests such as movies, sports, or other activities. , Insecure people can be emotionally draining, and seem to make you feel more tired afterwards.
They may act dependent on you for all their needs.
Avoid feeling like their caretaker, and set boundaries.Motivate them to find ways to cope without you always there.
Set specific times when you'll talk and meet.
Instead of avoiding them completing, make sure to set times that work for you and them.
Be clear and polite that you need to have some space, but that doesn't mean you don't care for them.
Explain to them how personal space or time away from each other can be healthy at times.
Remind them that you can't be solely responsible for making them feel better.
That's too much for one person.
Not only is that emotionally exhausting, but you may inadvertently enable them to depend on you 24/7. , You may have a partner or a spouse that appears to act jealous and insecure.
They may seem to act irrationally or fearful that you'll leave them.
Provide reassurance and define ways to keep the relationship healthy.When a jealous person comes forward with accusations, provide reassurance rather than getting upset.
Demonstrate how you plan to stay committed and faithful, but that for the relationship to work it must be built on trust.
Explore any past issues that your partner has had with feeling rejected, unloved, or lied to by former partners, friends, or family.
Encourage a sense of independence in your partner.
Find ways to encourage them to have an independent life rather than fixating on yours.
Help them to find personal goals that are fulfilling for them. , Recognize when insecure people are making you feel anxious, upset, sad, or frustrated.
If you are feeling unable to talk with or help someone who is feeling insecure, take a step back and assess what might be best for you.If you feel like they are stressing you out, politely tell them that you need to talk with them later and hope to have a better conversation then.
Take a break from whatever or whoever is bothering you.
It can be as simple as getting some physical distance from the situation for a few minutes or more until you feel calmer.
Try saying something like, "I know you're feeling anxious, and I'm here for you.
Right now I need to take a break to unwind a bit.
I'll be ready to help you again in an hour." -
Step 3: Avoid spending too much time on emotionally draining people.
-
Step 4: Explore trust issues with a jealous partner.
-
Step 5: Be in control of your own emotions.
Detailed Guide
People who struggle with insecurity may need constant reassurance and support, which you can't always provide.
Talk with them about boundaries so that you don't feel overwhelmed or frustrated by their behavior.
For example, if you're in a relationship with someone who's insecure, they may want to know what you're doing and where you are.
While it's important to check in with them via phone or text, talk with them ahead of time about boundaries when you're out or away from them.
Stick to what you both agree to do.
Perhaps you have a co-worker or classmate who seems to need your constant attention.
Define good times to talk and interact with them.
Consider saying things like, "I want to be available for you, but I also have some work to do.
Why don't we talk after class or at lunch?"
Insecure people are often anxious about something or someone.
Maybe they have been hurt by old boyfriends.
Maybe they've been bullied about the way they look.
Help to reduce their anxiety and focus on positive thoughts.
Act as a reminder when they seem to be focusing on the negative, and try to redirect their thoughts to positive things.
For example, "I know those people can be mean, but remember that you have my support, and the support of your friends." If the conversation appears fixated on the negative, refocus the conversation on something positive that you see in them or neutral topic of conversation.
Consider complimenting them for something.
Or discuss topics of mutual interests such as movies, sports, or other activities. , Insecure people can be emotionally draining, and seem to make you feel more tired afterwards.
They may act dependent on you for all their needs.
Avoid feeling like their caretaker, and set boundaries.Motivate them to find ways to cope without you always there.
Set specific times when you'll talk and meet.
Instead of avoiding them completing, make sure to set times that work for you and them.
Be clear and polite that you need to have some space, but that doesn't mean you don't care for them.
Explain to them how personal space or time away from each other can be healthy at times.
Remind them that you can't be solely responsible for making them feel better.
That's too much for one person.
Not only is that emotionally exhausting, but you may inadvertently enable them to depend on you 24/7. , You may have a partner or a spouse that appears to act jealous and insecure.
They may seem to act irrationally or fearful that you'll leave them.
Provide reassurance and define ways to keep the relationship healthy.When a jealous person comes forward with accusations, provide reassurance rather than getting upset.
Demonstrate how you plan to stay committed and faithful, but that for the relationship to work it must be built on trust.
Explore any past issues that your partner has had with feeling rejected, unloved, or lied to by former partners, friends, or family.
Encourage a sense of independence in your partner.
Find ways to encourage them to have an independent life rather than fixating on yours.
Help them to find personal goals that are fulfilling for them. , Recognize when insecure people are making you feel anxious, upset, sad, or frustrated.
If you are feeling unable to talk with or help someone who is feeling insecure, take a step back and assess what might be best for you.If you feel like they are stressing you out, politely tell them that you need to talk with them later and hope to have a better conversation then.
Take a break from whatever or whoever is bothering you.
It can be as simple as getting some physical distance from the situation for a few minutes or more until you feel calmer.
Try saying something like, "I know you're feeling anxious, and I'm here for you.
Right now I need to take a break to unwind a bit.
I'll be ready to help you again in an hour."
About the Author
Nathan Martin
Writer and educator with a focus on practical pet care knowledge.
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