How to Deal With Biphobia
Deny their denials., Address common misconceptions., Plan for biphobia conflated with homophobia., Counter possible biphobia from supporters of gay and lesbian rights., Understand bullying motivations., Don't stand for bullying, though.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Deny their denials.
One of the most common forms of biphobia is the denial of the very existence of bisexuality.
Sometimes this denial is caused by malice, but just as often it is the result of misinformation.
Reputable studies clearly indicate that bisexuality is a very real fact of life for many people.
Actually, one recent study revealed that more Americans self-identify as bisexual (3.1%) than gay or lesbian (2.5%).
This would indicate that there are roughly ten million self-identified bisexuals in the U.S.Often, a denial of bisexuality is based more on the assumption that it is a temporary situation within a transition between hetero- and homosexuality.
The typical view in this sense is that “bisexual” simply means “on the way to gay.”However, although it may not fit neatly into the binary views of existence (gay / straight, male / female, etc.) that many people tend to embrace, bisexuality is a very real state of being in and of itself. -
Step 2: Address common misconceptions.
Those who do accept the existence of genuine bisexuality, and may even consider themselves supportive, can still harbor misconceptions and stereotypes that can add up to a less virulent but still harmful biphobia.
Curiosity and questions should be welcomed, but “loaded” questions that indicate a prejudicial point of view need not be seen as acceptable.Some assumptions are clearly prejudicial, such as saying that a bisexual is just “confused” or “lying to himself,” needs to “make up her mind already,” is “trying to have it all” or avoid the difficulties of being identified as homosexual, is “just going through a phase,” or is just “trying to look cool.” Even if there is supportive intent, such statements denigrate the distinctive existence of bisexuality.
You have every right to respond to such questions or views by clarifying that bisexuals are not “undecided” or “confused” — they are living life on their terms.
Don’t be hostile or judgmental yourself, especially when dealing with someone who wants to be supportive; educate them on what it means to be bisexual. , Many people simply place people in the binary categories of “heterosexual” or “not heterosexual,” often with the first option as the only “right” one.
In so doing, they conflate homosexuals, bisexuals, and anyone else who does not fit neatly into these two supposedly rigid categories.Some people will simply have trouble believing that a bisexual is anything other than a homosexual who is literally “trying to have it both ways” out of confusion or convenience.
Be prepared to address the differences between homosexuality and bisexuality, while confirming their equal rights to respect and tolerance.
Even as a bisexual (or advocate for them), then, it pays to understand common prejudices more specifically targeted toward homosexuals as well.
See How to Deal With Homophobia as a good reference. , Not surprisingly, you will find some of the strongest champions for bisexual rights among the gay and lesbian communities.
At the same time, however, some people who crusade against homophobia can actually espouse strong biphobia, for various reasons.Advocates for gay and lesbian equality sometimes express biphobia because they see bisexuals as only “half” of an oppressed minority, or because they are defensive about guarding the unity and priorities of their specific cause.Homosexuals can be misinformed about bisexuality just as easily as heterosexuals, but are perhaps more likely to respond to reasoned discussions of the challenges and prejudices bisexuals face on a daily basis. , While a good deal of biphobia will be based on misinformation, confusion, or good intentions improperly expressed, it can be expressed in more virulent forms as well.
Bullies target differences and perceived weaknesses, often seeking to avoid or ignore their fears or problems by attacking others.Identifying the likely causes of someone’s biphobic bullying can help you to counteract it.
Understanding does not mean accepting or legitimizing the bullying, though.
Consider factors like peer pressure, social / religious background, or factors unrelated to bisexuality that may be causing the person to lash out at a perceived “flaw” in someone else. , If you’re lucky, a healthy conversation with the bully may be enough to convince him to stop the behavior — if not necessarily change his mind on bisexuality.
But, if you are subject to ongoing bullying (for whatever reason), never hesitate to talk to people you trust, like friends, teachers, counselors, etc.If you are harmed or fear for your safety, by all means contact the authorities.
No one has to tolerate bullying. -
Step 3: Plan for biphobia conflated with homophobia.
-
Step 4: Counter possible biphobia from supporters of gay and lesbian rights.
-
Step 5: Understand bullying motivations.
-
Step 6: Don't stand for bullying
-
Step 7: though.
Detailed Guide
One of the most common forms of biphobia is the denial of the very existence of bisexuality.
Sometimes this denial is caused by malice, but just as often it is the result of misinformation.
Reputable studies clearly indicate that bisexuality is a very real fact of life for many people.
Actually, one recent study revealed that more Americans self-identify as bisexual (3.1%) than gay or lesbian (2.5%).
This would indicate that there are roughly ten million self-identified bisexuals in the U.S.Often, a denial of bisexuality is based more on the assumption that it is a temporary situation within a transition between hetero- and homosexuality.
The typical view in this sense is that “bisexual” simply means “on the way to gay.”However, although it may not fit neatly into the binary views of existence (gay / straight, male / female, etc.) that many people tend to embrace, bisexuality is a very real state of being in and of itself.
Those who do accept the existence of genuine bisexuality, and may even consider themselves supportive, can still harbor misconceptions and stereotypes that can add up to a less virulent but still harmful biphobia.
Curiosity and questions should be welcomed, but “loaded” questions that indicate a prejudicial point of view need not be seen as acceptable.Some assumptions are clearly prejudicial, such as saying that a bisexual is just “confused” or “lying to himself,” needs to “make up her mind already,” is “trying to have it all” or avoid the difficulties of being identified as homosexual, is “just going through a phase,” or is just “trying to look cool.” Even if there is supportive intent, such statements denigrate the distinctive existence of bisexuality.
You have every right to respond to such questions or views by clarifying that bisexuals are not “undecided” or “confused” — they are living life on their terms.
Don’t be hostile or judgmental yourself, especially when dealing with someone who wants to be supportive; educate them on what it means to be bisexual. , Many people simply place people in the binary categories of “heterosexual” or “not heterosexual,” often with the first option as the only “right” one.
In so doing, they conflate homosexuals, bisexuals, and anyone else who does not fit neatly into these two supposedly rigid categories.Some people will simply have trouble believing that a bisexual is anything other than a homosexual who is literally “trying to have it both ways” out of confusion or convenience.
Be prepared to address the differences between homosexuality and bisexuality, while confirming their equal rights to respect and tolerance.
Even as a bisexual (or advocate for them), then, it pays to understand common prejudices more specifically targeted toward homosexuals as well.
See How to Deal With Homophobia as a good reference. , Not surprisingly, you will find some of the strongest champions for bisexual rights among the gay and lesbian communities.
At the same time, however, some people who crusade against homophobia can actually espouse strong biphobia, for various reasons.Advocates for gay and lesbian equality sometimes express biphobia because they see bisexuals as only “half” of an oppressed minority, or because they are defensive about guarding the unity and priorities of their specific cause.Homosexuals can be misinformed about bisexuality just as easily as heterosexuals, but are perhaps more likely to respond to reasoned discussions of the challenges and prejudices bisexuals face on a daily basis. , While a good deal of biphobia will be based on misinformation, confusion, or good intentions improperly expressed, it can be expressed in more virulent forms as well.
Bullies target differences and perceived weaknesses, often seeking to avoid or ignore their fears or problems by attacking others.Identifying the likely causes of someone’s biphobic bullying can help you to counteract it.
Understanding does not mean accepting or legitimizing the bullying, though.
Consider factors like peer pressure, social / religious background, or factors unrelated to bisexuality that may be causing the person to lash out at a perceived “flaw” in someone else. , If you’re lucky, a healthy conversation with the bully may be enough to convince him to stop the behavior — if not necessarily change his mind on bisexuality.
But, if you are subject to ongoing bullying (for whatever reason), never hesitate to talk to people you trust, like friends, teachers, counselors, etc.If you are harmed or fear for your safety, by all means contact the authorities.
No one has to tolerate bullying.
About the Author
Cheryl Mitchell
Committed to making hobbies accessible and understandable for everyone.
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