How to Deal With Homophobes
Keep a level head., Accept yourself., Avoid confrontation., Respect homophobes, even if they don't respect you., Accept that not everyone is going to come around.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Keep a level head.
Don't feed intolerance; don't let sharp words poke holes in your spirit.
Maintain your own balance, and keep your mind unclouded by anger, fear, and hate.
You cannot always change what others think of you, but you can always control how you react.
Let homophobic rhetoric defeat itself.
If onlookers see that you can remain calm in the face of adversity, the homophobic person will start to come across as the crazy one. -
Step 2: Accept yourself.
Realize that this is the way you work.
You can't "pray the gay away." You are a human being who feels love and/or sexual attraction to someone of the same gender, or you are a person who identifies as a gender other than the one assigned at birth – and that is 100% okay.
Love is love, and you are worthy of all the love you can handle.
Love yourself, and keep telling yourself that it's okay to be yourself, even if some days you don't believe it.
At times you feel particularly down on yourself, take time aside from the chaos.
Go to a bathroom.
Look in the mirror and say "I am valid.
My name is ______, and I am ___(sexual orientation, gender, whatever is in question)___.
And I am valid." A little reassurance often helps, even if it comes from yourself. , Don't engage the homophobe, and ignore the offences until you can get away.
If you are a member of the LGBTQ community and you come across someone homophobic, it may be best to pretend as though you haven't heard anything.
Go about your business as usual, and don't feed the negativity.
Do not hesitate to take action, however, if this person is harassing or hurting someone else.
You have every right to stand up for what you believe in, but some homophobic people may behave irrationally towards the subject.
Feeding a confrontation may not do either of you any good.
If avoiding a confrontation is not viable, remember to keep calm.
As the tension rises, the homophobe may act angry or say things that don't make sense.
Try not to resort to basic insults; instead, back up your points with reasonable facts or opinions.
Be especially careful if you live with homophobes.
Fighting back can get you getting kicked out, or put you in a dangerous situation.
If you feel uncomfortable in your home, try to find a more accepting place to live. , Be the bigger person.
Whether you are LGBTQ yourself, or an ally, try to find your center in a respect for all human beings.
Treat everyone with courtesy, regardless of what they say.
Respecting someone does not mean that you accept their opinion as fact – it only means that you grant them their right to hold an opinion.
Some people will try to take away your right to your feelings and opinions, but treating them in the same way will not restore balance.Empathize.
Remember that many people were raised homophobic.
Homophobia is a knee-jerk reaction for those who haven't thought through their feelings, and it can be hard to escape this sort of ingrained intolerance.
If you know that someone is a homophobe, but they don't do anything to harm or harass you, try to treat them like everyone else.
If someone wants to believe that you're going to hell or that you're living a morally-repugnant lifestyle, that is their right – as long as it doesn't interfere with your right to live your own life. , It takes time for systemic intolerance to fade, and there is only so much that one person can do to turn that tide.
Try to let go.
If someone won't give you the respect that you deserve, it may be time to leave this person behind and carry on with your life. -
Step 3: Avoid confrontation.
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Step 4: Respect homophobes
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Step 5: even if they don't respect you.
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Step 6: Accept that not everyone is going to come around.
Detailed Guide
Don't feed intolerance; don't let sharp words poke holes in your spirit.
Maintain your own balance, and keep your mind unclouded by anger, fear, and hate.
You cannot always change what others think of you, but you can always control how you react.
Let homophobic rhetoric defeat itself.
If onlookers see that you can remain calm in the face of adversity, the homophobic person will start to come across as the crazy one.
Realize that this is the way you work.
You can't "pray the gay away." You are a human being who feels love and/or sexual attraction to someone of the same gender, or you are a person who identifies as a gender other than the one assigned at birth – and that is 100% okay.
Love is love, and you are worthy of all the love you can handle.
Love yourself, and keep telling yourself that it's okay to be yourself, even if some days you don't believe it.
At times you feel particularly down on yourself, take time aside from the chaos.
Go to a bathroom.
Look in the mirror and say "I am valid.
My name is ______, and I am ___(sexual orientation, gender, whatever is in question)___.
And I am valid." A little reassurance often helps, even if it comes from yourself. , Don't engage the homophobe, and ignore the offences until you can get away.
If you are a member of the LGBTQ community and you come across someone homophobic, it may be best to pretend as though you haven't heard anything.
Go about your business as usual, and don't feed the negativity.
Do not hesitate to take action, however, if this person is harassing or hurting someone else.
You have every right to stand up for what you believe in, but some homophobic people may behave irrationally towards the subject.
Feeding a confrontation may not do either of you any good.
If avoiding a confrontation is not viable, remember to keep calm.
As the tension rises, the homophobe may act angry or say things that don't make sense.
Try not to resort to basic insults; instead, back up your points with reasonable facts or opinions.
Be especially careful if you live with homophobes.
Fighting back can get you getting kicked out, or put you in a dangerous situation.
If you feel uncomfortable in your home, try to find a more accepting place to live. , Be the bigger person.
Whether you are LGBTQ yourself, or an ally, try to find your center in a respect for all human beings.
Treat everyone with courtesy, regardless of what they say.
Respecting someone does not mean that you accept their opinion as fact – it only means that you grant them their right to hold an opinion.
Some people will try to take away your right to your feelings and opinions, but treating them in the same way will not restore balance.Empathize.
Remember that many people were raised homophobic.
Homophobia is a knee-jerk reaction for those who haven't thought through their feelings, and it can be hard to escape this sort of ingrained intolerance.
If you know that someone is a homophobe, but they don't do anything to harm or harass you, try to treat them like everyone else.
If someone wants to believe that you're going to hell or that you're living a morally-repugnant lifestyle, that is their right – as long as it doesn't interfere with your right to live your own life. , It takes time for systemic intolerance to fade, and there is only so much that one person can do to turn that tide.
Try to let go.
If someone won't give you the respect that you deserve, it may be time to leave this person behind and carry on with your life.
About the Author
Alexander Vasquez
Creates helpful guides on crafts to inspire and educate readers.
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