How to Deal With Living in Foster Care
Acknowledge your emotions., Avoid thinking negatively., Support your siblings and let them support you too., Try as much as possible to get along with the family., Ask questions to understand the routines of the home., Use your parents for support...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Acknowledge your emotions.
You may have a lot of different feelings about foster care
- you might be scared, you might be upset, or you might be okay with the situation.
However you're feeling, it's important to acknowledge those emotions and let yourself feel them rather than trying to bury them or hide them.
Know that your emotions are completely valid, and letting them out know will help you move on later.
If needed, try to find someone you can talk to about your feelings.
It could be a sibling, an adult you trust, or a mental health professional.
Don't be afraid to seek out professional help if you feel like your emotions are out of control, or if you feel anxious or depressed. -
Step 2: Avoid thinking negatively.
First of all, don't think negatively about yourself
- you aren't a bad person and you've done nothing wrong.
Never think that the situation is your fault, because it's not.
Don't beat yourself up thinking that you need to change or do something more.
Know that being a foster child isn't a bad thing, and doesn't make you a bad person.
Secondly, avoid coming into the situation with any negative preconceived notions about your foster family.
Not all foster families are bad
- many are loving, caring people that want to make you feel at home, and have undergone a lengthy application and training process to be able to foster you.
Try to think positively about yourself and to go into the situation with an open mind. , If you have a sibling with you, try to lean on and support each other.
This may be a scary time for both of you, and you could each be feeling differently about the situation, but remember that you're both in this together.
If you have a younger sibling, comfort them and let them know you're always there for them.
If they're upset, let them cry on your shoulder.
It's your job to be their supporter, and to be brave for them and for yourself.
If you have an older sibling, allow them to support you, but remember to support them as well.
They might be hurting too, so it's important for you to be strong and comfort them if necessary. , You may not like your foster family at first, but try to give them a chance.
It may be awkward and uncomfortable at the beginning, but things will likely improve once you get to know each other better.
Remember that many foster families are good people that truly want to welcome you into their family, so allow them to do that.
You can help smooth the transition into their home by being willing to compromise from time to time, by going in with an open mind, and by helping out around the house and doing the chores they assign you.
Understand that for now, these people are your family, and even if they're not perfect, it's important to try to get along with them. , Being a foster child involves lots of changes which you have to learn to deal with, and many of these changes involve new household routines.
Your foster family may do things differently than your family did, and it may be hard to adjust to and remember these routines.
If you're unsure of something, don't be afraid to ask your foster parents to clarify.
Your foster parents should understand that it may take a while for you to get used to the new routines, and should be willing to explain anything you forgot or don't understand. , If you're allowed to have visitations with your parents, you can use this time to talk to your parents about your experience and about how you feel.
You don't necessarily have to talk about your foster family if you don't want to, but sometimes it can be helpful to talk to your parents about the situation.
Even if you're adjusting well to foster care, it can be comforting to be able to talk to your parents about things that are going on in your life. , Remember that foster care is intended to be temporary, so it's highly unlikely that you'll be spending years with your foster family.
About half of foster kids are eventually reunited with their parents, while others go on to be adopted by other families.
Even if you don't enjoy being in foster care, take comfort in knowing that your situation is temporary and you won't be here forever. , Sometimes living in foster care can feel like a setback, but it's important not to let this situation limit you.
Being a foster child doesn't mean that you can't do great things in life
- many foster children have gone on to live happy lives with families that care about them, and have fulfilling careers as well.
You may be facing some challenges as a foster child, but these challenges may help you grow as a person and give you the resilience to accomplish great things in your life. -
Step 3: Support your siblings and let them support you too.
-
Step 4: Try as much as possible to get along with the family.
-
Step 5: Ask questions to understand the routines of the home.
-
Step 6: Use your parents for support.
-
Step 7: Understand that this won't be forever.
-
Step 8: Know that this doesn't limit you.
Detailed Guide
You may have a lot of different feelings about foster care
- you might be scared, you might be upset, or you might be okay with the situation.
However you're feeling, it's important to acknowledge those emotions and let yourself feel them rather than trying to bury them or hide them.
Know that your emotions are completely valid, and letting them out know will help you move on later.
If needed, try to find someone you can talk to about your feelings.
It could be a sibling, an adult you trust, or a mental health professional.
Don't be afraid to seek out professional help if you feel like your emotions are out of control, or if you feel anxious or depressed.
First of all, don't think negatively about yourself
- you aren't a bad person and you've done nothing wrong.
Never think that the situation is your fault, because it's not.
Don't beat yourself up thinking that you need to change or do something more.
Know that being a foster child isn't a bad thing, and doesn't make you a bad person.
Secondly, avoid coming into the situation with any negative preconceived notions about your foster family.
Not all foster families are bad
- many are loving, caring people that want to make you feel at home, and have undergone a lengthy application and training process to be able to foster you.
Try to think positively about yourself and to go into the situation with an open mind. , If you have a sibling with you, try to lean on and support each other.
This may be a scary time for both of you, and you could each be feeling differently about the situation, but remember that you're both in this together.
If you have a younger sibling, comfort them and let them know you're always there for them.
If they're upset, let them cry on your shoulder.
It's your job to be their supporter, and to be brave for them and for yourself.
If you have an older sibling, allow them to support you, but remember to support them as well.
They might be hurting too, so it's important for you to be strong and comfort them if necessary. , You may not like your foster family at first, but try to give them a chance.
It may be awkward and uncomfortable at the beginning, but things will likely improve once you get to know each other better.
Remember that many foster families are good people that truly want to welcome you into their family, so allow them to do that.
You can help smooth the transition into their home by being willing to compromise from time to time, by going in with an open mind, and by helping out around the house and doing the chores they assign you.
Understand that for now, these people are your family, and even if they're not perfect, it's important to try to get along with them. , Being a foster child involves lots of changes which you have to learn to deal with, and many of these changes involve new household routines.
Your foster family may do things differently than your family did, and it may be hard to adjust to and remember these routines.
If you're unsure of something, don't be afraid to ask your foster parents to clarify.
Your foster parents should understand that it may take a while for you to get used to the new routines, and should be willing to explain anything you forgot or don't understand. , If you're allowed to have visitations with your parents, you can use this time to talk to your parents about your experience and about how you feel.
You don't necessarily have to talk about your foster family if you don't want to, but sometimes it can be helpful to talk to your parents about the situation.
Even if you're adjusting well to foster care, it can be comforting to be able to talk to your parents about things that are going on in your life. , Remember that foster care is intended to be temporary, so it's highly unlikely that you'll be spending years with your foster family.
About half of foster kids are eventually reunited with their parents, while others go on to be adopted by other families.
Even if you don't enjoy being in foster care, take comfort in knowing that your situation is temporary and you won't be here forever. , Sometimes living in foster care can feel like a setback, but it's important not to let this situation limit you.
Being a foster child doesn't mean that you can't do great things in life
- many foster children have gone on to live happy lives with families that care about them, and have fulfilling careers as well.
You may be facing some challenges as a foster child, but these challenges may help you grow as a person and give you the resilience to accomplish great things in your life.
About the Author
Raymond Peterson
Writer and educator with a focus on practical lifestyle knowledge.
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