How to Deal With Mixed Feelings Towards Someone
Make a list of your feelings toward this person., Think about a time you recently spent with this person., Identify what made you feel this way.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make a list of your feelings toward this person.
Use the Problem Identification, Choices, Consequences (PICC) model to sort through your feelings.The first step is to identify all of the feelings you have about the person.
Examples of feelings you might have toward a person might be intrigued, unsure, self-conscious, etc.
Make a list of all the feelings you can identify.
Be sure not to categorize these feelings as good or bad, such as in a pros or cons list.
Just write them all out.
Feelings are not “good or bad”; they all have a purpose.
For example, your feelings toward a coworker or acquaintance might include bewildered, respectful, offended or exasperated.
Your feelings toward someone close to you, such as your best friend or a family member, might include: love, disappointment, annoyed, comforted, and so on. -
Step 2: Think about a time you recently spent with this person.
Identifying feelings can be difficult.
It may help to start with a situation you remember and then add the feelings in after.
Think of a recent time you spent with this person.
Write a list of the feelings you had during this time.
You may find that the feelings you identify are not because of who that person is or their relationship to us, but rather the situation you were in with them, or something specific they said or did.
For example, you might go on a first date and have a good first impression.
Then your date takes you to a party where you do not know anyone, and you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious.
In this example, the situation or unfamiliar environment made you feel uncomfortable, not necessarily the person as a whole. , There may be other factors that make you feel a certain way.
It might not be entirely this person’s fault.
Try to identify the specific source of each emotion.
This is even more specific than identifying the situation.
Think back to the moment you felt a certain way.
Identify what was said or done immediately prior.
For example, if you remember feeling rejected during a date, you might recall that you noticed your date moving away from you during a walk.
This may have been the source of your feeling of rejection.
Next to each emotion and situation on your list, write down what you think the source of the feeling was. -
Step 3: Identify what made you feel this way.
Detailed Guide
Use the Problem Identification, Choices, Consequences (PICC) model to sort through your feelings.The first step is to identify all of the feelings you have about the person.
Examples of feelings you might have toward a person might be intrigued, unsure, self-conscious, etc.
Make a list of all the feelings you can identify.
Be sure not to categorize these feelings as good or bad, such as in a pros or cons list.
Just write them all out.
Feelings are not “good or bad”; they all have a purpose.
For example, your feelings toward a coworker or acquaintance might include bewildered, respectful, offended or exasperated.
Your feelings toward someone close to you, such as your best friend or a family member, might include: love, disappointment, annoyed, comforted, and so on.
Identifying feelings can be difficult.
It may help to start with a situation you remember and then add the feelings in after.
Think of a recent time you spent with this person.
Write a list of the feelings you had during this time.
You may find that the feelings you identify are not because of who that person is or their relationship to us, but rather the situation you were in with them, or something specific they said or did.
For example, you might go on a first date and have a good first impression.
Then your date takes you to a party where you do not know anyone, and you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious.
In this example, the situation or unfamiliar environment made you feel uncomfortable, not necessarily the person as a whole. , There may be other factors that make you feel a certain way.
It might not be entirely this person’s fault.
Try to identify the specific source of each emotion.
This is even more specific than identifying the situation.
Think back to the moment you felt a certain way.
Identify what was said or done immediately prior.
For example, if you remember feeling rejected during a date, you might recall that you noticed your date moving away from you during a walk.
This may have been the source of your feeling of rejection.
Next to each emotion and situation on your list, write down what you think the source of the feeling was.
About the Author
Martha Price
Writer and educator with a focus on practical hobbies knowledge.
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