How to Deal With Someone Who Really Annoys You
Identify what annoys you about the person., Stay calm., Choose a word to calm you., Manage nonverbal reactions., Practice talking to them in the mirror., Be direct and discreet., Communicate boundaries., Don’t engage in arguments., Practice...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify what annoys you about the person.
Take some time to think about why the person annoys you.
Is it the sound of their voice? The things they say? Their attitude? Or something else.
Becoming more aware of why the person annoys you may help you to manage your interactions with them a bit better.
For example, you might prepare yourself for an interaction with someone who annoys you because of their negative attitude by telling yourself something like, “Tom and I see things differently, and that’s okay.
He has a pessimistic point of view, but it is likely because of things that have happened to him.
Just because he sees things this way does not mean I have to see them that way.” You may also want to consider ways that you can limit your interactions with the person.
For example, if you work together then you will likely need to see them every day.
However, if the person is a family friend, then you can reduce your exposure to them by showing up a little late to gatherings where you know they will be present, or leaving a bit early. -
Step 2: Stay calm.
When you see the person who annoys you, you might begin to feel angry, agitated or even nervous.
Employ various tactics and strategies to keep yourself calm during this time so that you don’t react negatively or get yourself worked up.
One thing you can do is to breathe deeply and slowly.
Another thing you can do is to think of a memory or mental scenario that calms you.For instance, imagine that you are on a beach or on a relaxing walk through nature.
Try to visualize the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations of being in your relaxing place.
For example, you could imagine the feeling of sand between your toes or the smell of flowers in a nearby field.
Practice this frequently and you will be able to calm yourself more quickly.
Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale through your mouth until you feel calm. , Sometimes, your anxiety and agitation can be similarly soothed if you repeat certain mantras in your head to calm yourself.
Repeat something like “peace” over and over until you feel that the word truly resonates and describes your current mental state.You can also choose a word like “happiness” or “serenity.” Repeat it in your head or write it down in a notebook. , Often times, nonverbal communication is even more telling than the things you say.
Avoid adding more hostility and angst to the situation by being visibly closed off and angry.
Keep your arms and legs uncrossed, avoid frowning or looking down, and never put your hands in someone’s space or face.Make sure that you are doing your part to not escalate the situation verbally or nonverbally. , You might be feeling a lot of anxiety about having to interact with people who annoy you.
Practice different ways of speaking to them without sounding too harsh.
For instance, if they tend to talk over or interrupt you, practice continuing to speak despite interruption, or better yet, point it out to them to let them know when they are doing it.
You might even practice with a friend.
Work on your facial expressions as well so that you don't look too stern. , Sometimes the best way to combat the annoyance is to address them directly rather than trying to avoid or ignore them.
Pull them aside away from earshot of others and have a talk with them about your relationship.
They may be unaware that they are annoying you at all.
Or perhaps they know but don’t understand the extent of your frustration.
After your talk, keep the things discussed between the two of you.You can start by saying “Hey Ryan, sometimes in the mornings, I need time to get settled in before chatting.
It really is starting to frustrate me.
Do you think you could give me an hour before you come by to talk about non-work related things?” , The person annoying you might have difficulty understanding or respecting your boundaries.
They might get into your physical space, talk over you, or overshare personal details about their lives that you do not want to know.
Perhaps they even pry for inappropriate details about yourself.
Let them know that you need them to cease this behavior and ask them to keep things a bit more cordial and professional.You can say something like “Sarah, I know you like to talk about your sex life, but could you do that with someone else? I don’t really like to share or know about details like that.” , It can be tempting to argue with people who are annoying, particularly if they are combative or know-it-alls.
However, avoid engaging in these debates with them.
Unless they have presented some information about you or something important to you that is untrue, let it go.
Learn to pick your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff.Remember that you do not have to get involved in other people’s issues.
This will help you to save precious emotional energy.
If they are telling others things that will defame your character, then address and correct it.
If they have an opinion about their favorite musician however, let it be. , Know that every statement or action does not require a response on your part.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or simply do not have anything nice or constructive to say, exercise your right to be silent.
If the person who is annoying you is not getting a rise from you, they will likely cease their behavior and find someone else to interact with.Though you should respond if someone asks you a question, you don’t necessarily need to respond to general statements or comments. , It can be tempting to be petty or act in ways to annoy this person on purpose to get back at them.
Doing so will only likely cause their annoying behavior to increase, however.
In order for you to establish more peace in your dynamic, you should be embodying those characteristics yourself.
Work towards being kind, hardworking, and respectful at all times, regardless of what people do.If they ask you for a favor and you have time, try to do it.
Don’t ignore them if they tell you “hello.’’ Don’t gossip or talk badly about them or others. -
Step 3: Choose a word to calm you.
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Step 4: Manage nonverbal reactions.
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Step 5: Practice talking to them in the mirror.
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Step 6: Be direct and discreet.
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Step 7: Communicate boundaries.
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Step 8: Don’t engage in arguments.
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Step 9: Practice silence.
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Step 10: Set the example.
Detailed Guide
Take some time to think about why the person annoys you.
Is it the sound of their voice? The things they say? Their attitude? Or something else.
Becoming more aware of why the person annoys you may help you to manage your interactions with them a bit better.
For example, you might prepare yourself for an interaction with someone who annoys you because of their negative attitude by telling yourself something like, “Tom and I see things differently, and that’s okay.
He has a pessimistic point of view, but it is likely because of things that have happened to him.
Just because he sees things this way does not mean I have to see them that way.” You may also want to consider ways that you can limit your interactions with the person.
For example, if you work together then you will likely need to see them every day.
However, if the person is a family friend, then you can reduce your exposure to them by showing up a little late to gatherings where you know they will be present, or leaving a bit early.
When you see the person who annoys you, you might begin to feel angry, agitated or even nervous.
Employ various tactics and strategies to keep yourself calm during this time so that you don’t react negatively or get yourself worked up.
One thing you can do is to breathe deeply and slowly.
Another thing you can do is to think of a memory or mental scenario that calms you.For instance, imagine that you are on a beach or on a relaxing walk through nature.
Try to visualize the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations of being in your relaxing place.
For example, you could imagine the feeling of sand between your toes or the smell of flowers in a nearby field.
Practice this frequently and you will be able to calm yourself more quickly.
Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale through your mouth until you feel calm. , Sometimes, your anxiety and agitation can be similarly soothed if you repeat certain mantras in your head to calm yourself.
Repeat something like “peace” over and over until you feel that the word truly resonates and describes your current mental state.You can also choose a word like “happiness” or “serenity.” Repeat it in your head or write it down in a notebook. , Often times, nonverbal communication is even more telling than the things you say.
Avoid adding more hostility and angst to the situation by being visibly closed off and angry.
Keep your arms and legs uncrossed, avoid frowning or looking down, and never put your hands in someone’s space or face.Make sure that you are doing your part to not escalate the situation verbally or nonverbally. , You might be feeling a lot of anxiety about having to interact with people who annoy you.
Practice different ways of speaking to them without sounding too harsh.
For instance, if they tend to talk over or interrupt you, practice continuing to speak despite interruption, or better yet, point it out to them to let them know when they are doing it.
You might even practice with a friend.
Work on your facial expressions as well so that you don't look too stern. , Sometimes the best way to combat the annoyance is to address them directly rather than trying to avoid or ignore them.
Pull them aside away from earshot of others and have a talk with them about your relationship.
They may be unaware that they are annoying you at all.
Or perhaps they know but don’t understand the extent of your frustration.
After your talk, keep the things discussed between the two of you.You can start by saying “Hey Ryan, sometimes in the mornings, I need time to get settled in before chatting.
It really is starting to frustrate me.
Do you think you could give me an hour before you come by to talk about non-work related things?” , The person annoying you might have difficulty understanding or respecting your boundaries.
They might get into your physical space, talk over you, or overshare personal details about their lives that you do not want to know.
Perhaps they even pry for inappropriate details about yourself.
Let them know that you need them to cease this behavior and ask them to keep things a bit more cordial and professional.You can say something like “Sarah, I know you like to talk about your sex life, but could you do that with someone else? I don’t really like to share or know about details like that.” , It can be tempting to argue with people who are annoying, particularly if they are combative or know-it-alls.
However, avoid engaging in these debates with them.
Unless they have presented some information about you or something important to you that is untrue, let it go.
Learn to pick your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff.Remember that you do not have to get involved in other people’s issues.
This will help you to save precious emotional energy.
If they are telling others things that will defame your character, then address and correct it.
If they have an opinion about their favorite musician however, let it be. , Know that every statement or action does not require a response on your part.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or simply do not have anything nice or constructive to say, exercise your right to be silent.
If the person who is annoying you is not getting a rise from you, they will likely cease their behavior and find someone else to interact with.Though you should respond if someone asks you a question, you don’t necessarily need to respond to general statements or comments. , It can be tempting to be petty or act in ways to annoy this person on purpose to get back at them.
Doing so will only likely cause their annoying behavior to increase, however.
In order for you to establish more peace in your dynamic, you should be embodying those characteristics yourself.
Work towards being kind, hardworking, and respectful at all times, regardless of what people do.If they ask you for a favor and you have time, try to do it.
Don’t ignore them if they tell you “hello.’’ Don’t gossip or talk badly about them or others.
About the Author
Andrew Jimenez
A passionate writer with expertise in DIY projects topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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