How to Deal With the Suicide of a Loved One
Expect shock., Know that feeling confused is normal., Brace yourself for anger, guilt and blame., Face your feelings of rejection or perceived abandonment.When your loved one commits suicide you may think of yourself as not being good enough.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Expect shock.
When you first hear the news of your loved one's suicide it's common for family members and friends to feel numb.
You might say things like "I can't believe it!" because you don't think this can be real.
This feeling will go away over time as you come to accept the death., Confusion is another emotion typically experienced by those who lose a loved one to suicide.
You and others might constantly ask "why" this happened or "why" your loved one didn't show any signs.
The need to make sense of the death may haunt you continuously.Trying to piece together the last weeks, days, or hours of your loved ones life may help you understand better.
However, you must accept that, with suicide, there will always be some unanswered questions. , You may notice yourself feeling angry about the suicide.
Your angry feelings may be guilt directed at yourself for not seeing any signs that your loved one was hurting.
You may also be direct responsibility at God, at other family members, at mental health professionals for not doing enough, or at your loved one for not reaching out to you and asking for your help.
Recognize that blaming yourself or feeling guilty is common, but it's not your fault.
Blame may help you try to cope with the loss by assigning responsibility, when you are truly upset by the idea that your life and the lives of your loved ones are not in your control., You figure if your relationship with this person were "enough" then he may not have chosen to take his life.
You are upset that he left you behind to deal with this devastating pain on your own.
It's okay to feel abandoned or rejected.
But, remember, suicide is a very complex ordeal to the victim and those left behind.
Know that this choice was your loved one's decision because he couldn't cope with his life or certain circumstances--it's not a reflection of you. -
Step 2: Know that feeling confused is normal.
-
Step 3: Brace yourself for anger
-
Step 4: guilt and blame.
-
Step 5: Face your feelings of rejection or perceived abandonment.When your loved one commits suicide you may think of yourself as not being good enough.
Detailed Guide
When you first hear the news of your loved one's suicide it's common for family members and friends to feel numb.
You might say things like "I can't believe it!" because you don't think this can be real.
This feeling will go away over time as you come to accept the death., Confusion is another emotion typically experienced by those who lose a loved one to suicide.
You and others might constantly ask "why" this happened or "why" your loved one didn't show any signs.
The need to make sense of the death may haunt you continuously.Trying to piece together the last weeks, days, or hours of your loved ones life may help you understand better.
However, you must accept that, with suicide, there will always be some unanswered questions. , You may notice yourself feeling angry about the suicide.
Your angry feelings may be guilt directed at yourself for not seeing any signs that your loved one was hurting.
You may also be direct responsibility at God, at other family members, at mental health professionals for not doing enough, or at your loved one for not reaching out to you and asking for your help.
Recognize that blaming yourself or feeling guilty is common, but it's not your fault.
Blame may help you try to cope with the loss by assigning responsibility, when you are truly upset by the idea that your life and the lives of your loved ones are not in your control., You figure if your relationship with this person were "enough" then he may not have chosen to take his life.
You are upset that he left you behind to deal with this devastating pain on your own.
It's okay to feel abandoned or rejected.
But, remember, suicide is a very complex ordeal to the victim and those left behind.
Know that this choice was your loved one's decision because he couldn't cope with his life or certain circumstances--it's not a reflection of you.
About the Author
Adam Brown
Writer and educator with a focus on practical practical skills knowledge.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: