How to Deal With Your Emotions
Identify the emotion you’re feeling., Try breathing relaxation techniques., Try a self-soothing technique., Try progressive muscle relaxation (PMR)., Try meditating or praying., Try throwing the negative thought away., Use positive imagery., Talk to...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify the emotion you’re feeling.
Identifying a specific emotion can be more difficult than you think.
If you are struggling, start with the four basic categories: anxiety, sadness, anger, or happiness.
By simply identifying exactly what you’re feeling, you can begin taking the power away from the emotion as you work through what’s causing it.
Though your feelings may vary in intensity, most fall into one of these broad categories.Anxiety often takes the shape of “what if” questions.
What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not accepted? Etc.Sadness tends to happen when we focus on things we cannot change such as death or loss.Anger is the response after being attacked, such as our values.Happiness is positive thought often around a gain, such as a compliment from a friend or a reward like a promotion at work. -
Step 2: Try breathing relaxation techniques.
Taking steps in the moment to deal with a difficult emotion is one common coping strategy.
You can help deal with an emotional response by focusing on something else that you can control, such as your breathing.
Research shows that practicing breathing control has a positive impact on your stress response or “fight or flight” response.For example, a simple technique is to count to five while inhaling, hold for five counts, and take five counts to exhale.
Focus on your each part of your breath.
Another way to focus on your breath is to use a deflated balloon.
Blow up the balloon and watch it deflate. , Self-soothing techniques are another way to focus on something aside from a difficult emotion.
One specific example is the five senses technique to help you improve your state of mind.
Sit in a comfortable position and focus on your breathing.
Then isolate each of your five senses and spend one minute each focusing on the specific sensations of each.
Consider the following:
Hearing:
What sounds do you hear around you? Focus on external sounds, such as cars going by, people talking, birds chirping.
Focus on internal sounds, such as your breathing or digestion.
As you focus on hearing, do you notice anything you did not before? Smell:
What do you smell? Is there food near you? Or maybe flowers outside? You might notice smells you did not before like the paper in an open textbook beside you.
Try closing your eyes.
Sometimes this helps decrease visual distractions.
Sight:
What do you see? Take notice of details such as colors, patterns, shapes, and textures.
Look for variations in hues of colors you haven’t noticed on common objects before.
Taste:
What do you taste? Even if you do not have food in your mouth, you can still taste.
Notice any aftertaste of a previous drink or meal? Run your tongue over your teeth and cheeks to help you become more aware of subtle tastes.
Touch:
What do you feel without moving from your seated position? Feel the sensation of your skin being touched by clothing, your chair, or the floor.
Feel the texture of your clothes or the chair with your fingers and focus on that. , Progressive muscle relaxation is a type of coping skill that focuses on tensing and relaxing different muscle groups.
The benefits of progressive muscle relations include helping you become more aware of physical sensations in your body.Try starting with your toes and then isolating different muscle groups in your body all the way up to your head.
Tense each muscle group for five seconds, and then spend the next thirty seconds slowly relaxing them.
You can use your imagination to help the process as well.
For example, when you get to your face muscles, imagine eating a lemon to help you tense them up, and imagine eating something sweeter as your relax them. , Meditating has been shown to improve positive emotions, satisfaction, health, and happiness.
Also, it decreases anxiety, stress, and depression.There are many different types of mediation, but the goal of all mediation is about calming the mind.
For example, start in a comfortable position.
Focus on a single thing—such as a candle flame, a repeated word of prayer, or counting beads on a rosary.
As you focus, your mind will wander.
Let those thoughts go, and bring your concentration back to your focus point.This might sound easy, but focusing the mind is challenging.
Do not be disappointed if you can only focus for a few minutes at first. , Some people find it helpful to write down the negative emotion as they question it.
The physical action of throwing away the paper on which you’ve written the negative emotion can assist with letting it go mentally as well.Though symbolic, associating a physical, controllable action with letting go of the negative emotion may be helpful to you. , You may find it easier to interrupt your negative thoughts by replacing them with positive imagery.
This can especially help if you’re fixating on a memory with a difficult emotional impact.Start with an image or mental picture that is positive or peaceful.
It can be a memory or a place.
Think of a time/situation/place in that location that made you feel calm and happy.Try to remember all the details of this memory or place.
Focus on locating all five of your senses in the positive place.
How did it sound, smell, feel, etc.?Some people find it helpful to carry a physical picture with them in their wallet or purse to help remind them of a positive moment., Being alone with sad or painful emotions can create an echo chamber where you can’t help but fixate on the emotion.
If a good friend in your social circle is available, then reach out to him or her.
Emotions—including happiness—are contagious.Sharing time with one of your positive friends might be just what you need to help you relax. -
Step 3: Try a self-soothing technique.
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Step 4: Try progressive muscle relaxation (PMR).
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Step 5: Try meditating or praying.
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Step 6: Try throwing the negative thought away.
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Step 7: Use positive imagery.
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Step 8: Talk to a friend.
Detailed Guide
Identifying a specific emotion can be more difficult than you think.
If you are struggling, start with the four basic categories: anxiety, sadness, anger, or happiness.
By simply identifying exactly what you’re feeling, you can begin taking the power away from the emotion as you work through what’s causing it.
Though your feelings may vary in intensity, most fall into one of these broad categories.Anxiety often takes the shape of “what if” questions.
What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not accepted? Etc.Sadness tends to happen when we focus on things we cannot change such as death or loss.Anger is the response after being attacked, such as our values.Happiness is positive thought often around a gain, such as a compliment from a friend or a reward like a promotion at work.
Taking steps in the moment to deal with a difficult emotion is one common coping strategy.
You can help deal with an emotional response by focusing on something else that you can control, such as your breathing.
Research shows that practicing breathing control has a positive impact on your stress response or “fight or flight” response.For example, a simple technique is to count to five while inhaling, hold for five counts, and take five counts to exhale.
Focus on your each part of your breath.
Another way to focus on your breath is to use a deflated balloon.
Blow up the balloon and watch it deflate. , Self-soothing techniques are another way to focus on something aside from a difficult emotion.
One specific example is the five senses technique to help you improve your state of mind.
Sit in a comfortable position and focus on your breathing.
Then isolate each of your five senses and spend one minute each focusing on the specific sensations of each.
Consider the following:
Hearing:
What sounds do you hear around you? Focus on external sounds, such as cars going by, people talking, birds chirping.
Focus on internal sounds, such as your breathing or digestion.
As you focus on hearing, do you notice anything you did not before? Smell:
What do you smell? Is there food near you? Or maybe flowers outside? You might notice smells you did not before like the paper in an open textbook beside you.
Try closing your eyes.
Sometimes this helps decrease visual distractions.
Sight:
What do you see? Take notice of details such as colors, patterns, shapes, and textures.
Look for variations in hues of colors you haven’t noticed on common objects before.
Taste:
What do you taste? Even if you do not have food in your mouth, you can still taste.
Notice any aftertaste of a previous drink or meal? Run your tongue over your teeth and cheeks to help you become more aware of subtle tastes.
Touch:
What do you feel without moving from your seated position? Feel the sensation of your skin being touched by clothing, your chair, or the floor.
Feel the texture of your clothes or the chair with your fingers and focus on that. , Progressive muscle relaxation is a type of coping skill that focuses on tensing and relaxing different muscle groups.
The benefits of progressive muscle relations include helping you become more aware of physical sensations in your body.Try starting with your toes and then isolating different muscle groups in your body all the way up to your head.
Tense each muscle group for five seconds, and then spend the next thirty seconds slowly relaxing them.
You can use your imagination to help the process as well.
For example, when you get to your face muscles, imagine eating a lemon to help you tense them up, and imagine eating something sweeter as your relax them. , Meditating has been shown to improve positive emotions, satisfaction, health, and happiness.
Also, it decreases anxiety, stress, and depression.There are many different types of mediation, but the goal of all mediation is about calming the mind.
For example, start in a comfortable position.
Focus on a single thing—such as a candle flame, a repeated word of prayer, or counting beads on a rosary.
As you focus, your mind will wander.
Let those thoughts go, and bring your concentration back to your focus point.This might sound easy, but focusing the mind is challenging.
Do not be disappointed if you can only focus for a few minutes at first. , Some people find it helpful to write down the negative emotion as they question it.
The physical action of throwing away the paper on which you’ve written the negative emotion can assist with letting it go mentally as well.Though symbolic, associating a physical, controllable action with letting go of the negative emotion may be helpful to you. , You may find it easier to interrupt your negative thoughts by replacing them with positive imagery.
This can especially help if you’re fixating on a memory with a difficult emotional impact.Start with an image or mental picture that is positive or peaceful.
It can be a memory or a place.
Think of a time/situation/place in that location that made you feel calm and happy.Try to remember all the details of this memory or place.
Focus on locating all five of your senses in the positive place.
How did it sound, smell, feel, etc.?Some people find it helpful to carry a physical picture with them in their wallet or purse to help remind them of a positive moment., Being alone with sad or painful emotions can create an echo chamber where you can’t help but fixate on the emotion.
If a good friend in your social circle is available, then reach out to him or her.
Emotions—including happiness—are contagious.Sharing time with one of your positive friends might be just what you need to help you relax.
About the Author
Aaron Ruiz
Committed to making pet care accessible and understandable for everyone.
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