How to Deal With Your Teenage Anger

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Go for a hard workout.

   One way to deal with your anger is to vent it in ways that ultimately benefit you.
   
   Use the negative energy of your anger to your benefit by going for a long run or hitting the weights.
   
   Rigorous exercise can help you reduce your anger and help you cope with stressors that trigger anger in the first place.
   
   Try listening to music that pumps you up; this will help you endure when your workout gets tough.
2. 2

   Step 2: Talk to a friend.

   Tell your friend or significant other what is making you angry.
   
   In many cases, simply venting your frustrations will help you to cope with your anger, even if there is no solution presented from the conversation.You may find that your friend or significant other is going through the same problems as you, and it can help to not feel like you are the only one dealing with the issues making you angry. , When you find yourself trying to deal with anger, try to calm yourself down.
   
   You can accomplish this by breathing deeply.
   
   This will help you to initiate your body’s calming response.
   
   Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four.
   
   Make sure you are breathing with your diaphragm rather than with your chest.
   
   When you breathe with your diaphragm, your belly extends out (you can feel it with your hand).
   
   Do this as many times as necessary until you start feeling calmer. , If it is possible for you to escape the anger-inducing situation that you are in, do so and go for a walk.
   
   You will be able to calm down easier if you distance yourself from the situation that made you upset.If you, e.g., in class and you are very angry but are not allowed to leave, try pulling your teacher aside and asking her to use the washroom.
   
   If she won’t allow you to, try calmly explaining to her that you are angry about something and would appreciate a couple minutes away from the situation to calm down.
   
   If you absolutely cannot leave the situation, try to remove yourself from it through your imagination.
   
   Imagine you are on a vacation to your favourite place in the world.
   
   Try your best to picture all the sights, sounds, and smells to make your vision more vivid. , Although easier said than done when you are angry, if you can get yourself laughing, you can change your emotional state.
   
   You can use your brain and imagination to create all sorts of ridiculous situations that can get you laughing. , If you feel yourself getting angry, remember that you don’t have to react right away.
   
   Tell yourself you will let your anger show itself after a ten second delay if you still feel angry after those ten seconds.
   
   Counting to ten can help you put off your feelings for the moment.
   
   It might feel a bit silly at first, but counting really can distract your long enough to calm down. , If someone made you angry, do your best to consider things from her perspective.
   
   Ask yourself whether she might have done the behavior on accident, or whether her behavior was constrained by the situation in some way (e.g., maybe she had no choice) or whether she may have had reason to do what she did.
   
   Also ask yourself whether you have ever made a similar mistake.
   
   If you fail to take her perspective, this may contribute to your anger, since we tend to underestimate situational influences on others’ behavior (this is called the fundamental attribution error).If you take her perspective you might realize that sometimes people make mistakes, just as you do, or you may realize that she didn’t have mean intentions, either of which can reduce your own anger. , The method of “cognitive restructuring” can help you replace old, dysfunctional thoughts with thoughts that will help you function better throughout your day.Anger can distort our thoughts, making us think that something is way more important than it really is.
   
   When we exaggerate the importance of an event, our anger can get out of control.
   
   For example, if you get a flat tire on the way to school, it’s annoying and inconvenient.
   
   Out of control anger might lead you to these thoughts: “I can’t believe my stupid tire went flat! Now my entire week is ruined.
   
   Everything at school is going to be horrible.” We can change these thoughts by challenging them.
   
   Life usually doesn’t meet extreme conditions, such as always and never.
   
   You got a flat tire.
   
   Things like this happen in life, and things happen that you can’t control.
   
   There could have been glass in the road or sharp rocks to cause the flat tire.
   
   Use your reasoning before your body gets out of control.
   
   Before anger takes over your mind, you can “talk yourself down.” Challenge your thoughts by asking, "how will my whole week really be ruined by this flat tire?" "Do I still have good things to look forward to, despite this inconvenience?" "Last time something bad happened, did I get over it eventually?"
   
   With problem solving, you are doing everything in your power to address the problem.
   
   You need to figure out your own feelings regarding the situation.
   
   Then you need to express them in the most productive way you can.You might have to accept the fact that at this time, there isn’t a solution to the problem.
   
   You may not be able to control the problem, but you can control how you react towards it.
   
   For example, you might be angry with your parents because they won’t let you attend a concert with your friends.
   
   You can still be angry, but it is also productive to talk with your parents calmly to figure out a solution.
   
   You might say to yourself: ”I am going to take a few minutes to myself.
   
   I’m going go to my room and play my favorite song, and breathe deeply to calm down.” “I want my parents to treat me like an adult.
   
   I am not yet an adult, but I feel I can handle myself.
   
   I need to calm down and get my brain clear.
   
   My body is in the middle of this stress reaction and my head isn’t thinking clearly.” ”As I am deep breathing, I am thinking of ways to talk with my parents.
   
   I will ask them to tell me their reasons for saying no.
   
   I will talk calmly about why I want to go.” ”If they still won’t let me go, I will suggest a compromise.
   
   I will ask if one of them wants to drop me off and pick me up.
   
   Even if they still say no, they will see that I am reacting like an adult and they will see that I am becoming more mature.
   
   Maybe that will help the next time I want to go to a concert.”
3. 3

   Step 3: Take deep breaths.

4. 4

   Step 4: Go for a walk.

5. 5

   Step 5: Think about something funny.

6. 6

   Step 6: Count to ten.

7. 7

   Step 7: Engage in perspective-taking.

8. 8

   Step 8: Replace your angry thoughts with more productive ones.

9. 9

   Step 9: Try to find a solution to the problem.

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