How to Decide Whether Counseling is for You

Consider counseling if you’re struggling with strong emotions., Watch for physical signs that you might need help coping., Talk to your family and friends., Evaluate the impact of stress or anxiety on your quality of life., Try coping mechanisms...

17 Steps 5 min read Advanced

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Consider counseling if you’re struggling with strong emotions.

    You may want to talk to a professional if you are experiencing strong feelings of anger, grief, anxiety, sadness, or depression.

    These feelings can be brought on by a sudden change, such as a catastrophic event, a death in the family, increased pressure at work or school, or the loss of a job or a relationship.

    Sometimes people seek counseling not because of a sudden or traumatic change, but because they feel that their lives have become routine or they feel unmotivated.
  2. Step 2: Watch for physical signs that you might need help coping.

    Emotional problems often manifest themselves through illness or obsessive behavior.

    Excessive stress or emotional problems can cause headaches, high blood pressure, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, or digestive problems.

    Stress or anxiety might manifest in other ways, such as addiction, alcoholism, or eating disorders., The people who see you every day will be able to tell you if they’ve seen changes in your mood.

    If people close to you have mentioned that you seem irritable or moody lately, ask yourself whether this was just a temporary state or part of a pattern of behavior that might be helped by speaking to a professional. , If you experience any of these symptoms in minor ways that do not affect your happiness, job performance, or relationships, you may not need to seek counseling.

    If a supervisor or teacher notices a drop in the quality of your work, these may be signs that you should speak to a professional., Doing something new, engaging in a creative activity, or taking time to relax can be good ways to shake up your routine or reduce stress.

    Positive things that take your mind off of everyday stresses might include reading a book, painting, writing, learning a new skill, taking up a new hobby, or enjoying art and music.Make time for activities that help you to reduce stress, like exercising, meditating, doing yoga, or taking a long bath. , If you decide to see a counselor, it is important that you get along with them and that they are qualified to help you.

    You can look for counselors through medical offices, local colleges and universities, social workers, and issue-specific therapy groups like Alcoholics Anonymous.

    As with any medical treatment, you should contact your health insurance provider to see what types of counseling might be covered., Most therapists specialize in different areas of mental health.

    If you are seeing a counselor for help with a specific issue, it is especially important that they have experience in that field., As with other medical professionals, counselors must be licensed to practice by the state.

    If you are referred to a counselor by a medical office or university, their counselors will likely be licensed, but you can always check with the licensing board in your state., You and your counselor can decide the frequency of your visits and whether you want to explore options like group therapy.

    Group therapy can be challenging for those who consider themselves shy, but this method provides an opportunity to get feedback from people who are all struggling with similar issues., There is no standard schedule or fixed number of sessions you need to attend, but seeing a counselor just once or twice likely will not address the issues that prompted you to seek help., Most counseling depends on you talking, whether in a one-on-one setting or in a group.

    Your counselor will prompt you with questions or encourage you to speak more about a particular topic, but it is up to you to be open and honest.

    You might prepare some questions for your counselor in advance regarding what you want to get out of treatment and ways in which you can achieve your goals., If you sought counseling to address a specific behavior like addiction or to learn coping mechanisms for stress or anger management, tell your counselor so that you can tailor your therapy to fit your needs.

    If your goals are more general, like increasing your happiness or getting along better with those around you, ask your counselor about specific ways or methods of achieving them., Your counseling goals might entail changing behavior, which will have to play out in a live setting rather than in your one-on-one sessions., Bring up your goals during your counseling sessions and discuss whether you feel your treatment is helping you to reach them.For example, if your goal in counseling is to quit smoking, report back to your counselor about whether the activities they suggested as alternatives to smoking are working or not. , It will take time to get to know your counselor and to find methods of reaching your goals that work for you.

    After you start counseling, you may find that you are experiencing more intense emotions than before, particularly if your therapist is pushing you to change your behavior or face difficult truths about yourself., If you enter counseling with a specific goal in mind, achieving it will mark the point at which your treatment is no longer necessary.

    If you begin to feel that you will not be able to meet your goals through counseling, it might be time to seek other means of doing so.

    If you decide to stop your treatment without achieving your goals, you can ask for a referral to a different counselor or another type of mental health professional like a psychologist or a psychiatrist.If you reach a point at which you do not feel comfortable talking to your counselor, they do not let you express yourself, or they become overbearing in telling you how to live your life, these can all be signs that you need to leave your counseling situation., If you left counseling because you met your original goals, you can always set new ones and go back.

    If you decided to try to achieve your goals without therapy but have rethought that decision, ask your counselor to take you back.
  3. Step 3: Talk to your family and friends.

  4. Step 4: Evaluate the impact of stress or anxiety on your quality of life.

  5. Step 5: Try coping mechanisms outside of counseling.

  6. Step 6: Find a counselor that suits you.

  7. Step 7: Choose a counselor whose expertise matches your needs.

  8. Step 8: Make sure your counselor is licensed.

  9. Step 9: Ask your counselor about different options for treatment.

  10. Step 10: Attend counseling sessions regularly.

  11. Step 11: Be an active participant in your sessions.

  12. Step 12: Set goals for your treatment.

  13. Step 13: Work toward your goals outside of your sessions.

  14. Step 14: Regularly assess the progress of your counseling.

  15. Step 15: Understand that you might not see immediate progress.

  16. Step 16: Decide when to stop counseling.

  17. Step 17: Know that you can return to counseling.

Detailed Guide

You may want to talk to a professional if you are experiencing strong feelings of anger, grief, anxiety, sadness, or depression.

These feelings can be brought on by a sudden change, such as a catastrophic event, a death in the family, increased pressure at work or school, or the loss of a job or a relationship.

Sometimes people seek counseling not because of a sudden or traumatic change, but because they feel that their lives have become routine or they feel unmotivated.

Emotional problems often manifest themselves through illness or obsessive behavior.

Excessive stress or emotional problems can cause headaches, high blood pressure, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, or digestive problems.

Stress or anxiety might manifest in other ways, such as addiction, alcoholism, or eating disorders., The people who see you every day will be able to tell you if they’ve seen changes in your mood.

If people close to you have mentioned that you seem irritable or moody lately, ask yourself whether this was just a temporary state or part of a pattern of behavior that might be helped by speaking to a professional. , If you experience any of these symptoms in minor ways that do not affect your happiness, job performance, or relationships, you may not need to seek counseling.

If a supervisor or teacher notices a drop in the quality of your work, these may be signs that you should speak to a professional., Doing something new, engaging in a creative activity, or taking time to relax can be good ways to shake up your routine or reduce stress.

Positive things that take your mind off of everyday stresses might include reading a book, painting, writing, learning a new skill, taking up a new hobby, or enjoying art and music.Make time for activities that help you to reduce stress, like exercising, meditating, doing yoga, or taking a long bath. , If you decide to see a counselor, it is important that you get along with them and that they are qualified to help you.

You can look for counselors through medical offices, local colleges and universities, social workers, and issue-specific therapy groups like Alcoholics Anonymous.

As with any medical treatment, you should contact your health insurance provider to see what types of counseling might be covered., Most therapists specialize in different areas of mental health.

If you are seeing a counselor for help with a specific issue, it is especially important that they have experience in that field., As with other medical professionals, counselors must be licensed to practice by the state.

If you are referred to a counselor by a medical office or university, their counselors will likely be licensed, but you can always check with the licensing board in your state., You and your counselor can decide the frequency of your visits and whether you want to explore options like group therapy.

Group therapy can be challenging for those who consider themselves shy, but this method provides an opportunity to get feedback from people who are all struggling with similar issues., There is no standard schedule or fixed number of sessions you need to attend, but seeing a counselor just once or twice likely will not address the issues that prompted you to seek help., Most counseling depends on you talking, whether in a one-on-one setting or in a group.

Your counselor will prompt you with questions or encourage you to speak more about a particular topic, but it is up to you to be open and honest.

You might prepare some questions for your counselor in advance regarding what you want to get out of treatment and ways in which you can achieve your goals., If you sought counseling to address a specific behavior like addiction or to learn coping mechanisms for stress or anger management, tell your counselor so that you can tailor your therapy to fit your needs.

If your goals are more general, like increasing your happiness or getting along better with those around you, ask your counselor about specific ways or methods of achieving them., Your counseling goals might entail changing behavior, which will have to play out in a live setting rather than in your one-on-one sessions., Bring up your goals during your counseling sessions and discuss whether you feel your treatment is helping you to reach them.For example, if your goal in counseling is to quit smoking, report back to your counselor about whether the activities they suggested as alternatives to smoking are working or not. , It will take time to get to know your counselor and to find methods of reaching your goals that work for you.

After you start counseling, you may find that you are experiencing more intense emotions than before, particularly if your therapist is pushing you to change your behavior or face difficult truths about yourself., If you enter counseling with a specific goal in mind, achieving it will mark the point at which your treatment is no longer necessary.

If you begin to feel that you will not be able to meet your goals through counseling, it might be time to seek other means of doing so.

If you decide to stop your treatment without achieving your goals, you can ask for a referral to a different counselor or another type of mental health professional like a psychologist or a psychiatrist.If you reach a point at which you do not feel comfortable talking to your counselor, they do not let you express yourself, or they become overbearing in telling you how to live your life, these can all be signs that you need to leave your counseling situation., If you left counseling because you met your original goals, you can always set new ones and go back.

If you decided to try to achieve your goals without therapy but have rethought that decision, ask your counselor to take you back.

About the Author

J

Jeffrey Thomas

Committed to making lifestyle accessible and understandable for everyone.

70 articles
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