How to Detect Flaky People
Observe their timing., Pay attention to their work habits., Consider their reliability., Reflect on how they treat you., Watch their communication habits., Take note of their group behaviour., Flaky people aren't as destructive as you might think.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Observe their timing.
Flaky people often have problems with time.
Are they always getting to class just before the bell rings, or getting to the business meeting right before it starts, etc? If so, this should be a warning sign. -
Step 2: Pay attention to their work habits.
Most of the time, flakes don't take their work seriously, or do enough just to get by.
These aren't good signs, since flaky people don't like to work.
This might be because of insecurity and pain from perfectionism, but don't make judgments when you first meet the potential flake.
Do they dump all the work on others, get things done at the last minute or work only when being watched? These aren't good signs, either. , Determine whether or not they have a problem with commitments.
When both of you are on an academics team, do they cancel a meet right before you get on the bus? When you work with them on a presentation for your boss, do they call late at night saying they can't work with you? These instances are nearly always followed by some sort of excuse, which may or may not be lame. , Flakes often go back and forth about how they act towards you.
Do they have a 'hot-and-cold' behaviour cycle: one week you're their best friend, and the next they hate you? Do they send you nasty e-mails, then act like it's no big deal when you ask them about it? , Some flaky people will make rude comments about you and know that they will upset you.
Then they'll brush it off as a joke.
Do they communicate in one steady conversation, or in loose chatter? How often do they reply to your phone calls, texts, emails or IM's? When someone doesn't reply to your communication efforts (particularly urgent ones), that's another sign of bad time management skills.
If they're unable to communicate in one steady stream of conversation with you, they usually aren't taking the relationship seriously. (Or they're shy or have poor communication skills.) , Some flaky people have a certain group that they want to fit in to, and keep an eye on them when they're with this group.
Do they throw themselves into a conversation when there's a large group of people, and save talking to you when both of you aren't around others (like they're ashamed to be seen with you in public?) Do they treat other people like this? When they give you the cold shoulder, this may not be flakiness.
They may be shy, in a bad mood, have a disagreement with you, have poor communication skills or they might like you. , For the most part, it's possible to be friends with a flake.
They usually don't have an ego problem, and are easy to get along with.
It's possible to be friends with them, but the key is to not rely on them.
Whenever you rely on a flake for anything, the project will often collapse as soon as they drop out of it.
This is because you trusted them with a responsibility that they didn't follow up on, and then you have to make up for their load (along with yours.) -
Step 3: Consider their reliability.
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Step 4: Reflect on how they treat you.
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Step 5: Watch their communication habits.
-
Step 6: Take note of their group behaviour.
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Step 7: Flaky people aren't as destructive as you might think.
Detailed Guide
Flaky people often have problems with time.
Are they always getting to class just before the bell rings, or getting to the business meeting right before it starts, etc? If so, this should be a warning sign.
Most of the time, flakes don't take their work seriously, or do enough just to get by.
These aren't good signs, since flaky people don't like to work.
This might be because of insecurity and pain from perfectionism, but don't make judgments when you first meet the potential flake.
Do they dump all the work on others, get things done at the last minute or work only when being watched? These aren't good signs, either. , Determine whether or not they have a problem with commitments.
When both of you are on an academics team, do they cancel a meet right before you get on the bus? When you work with them on a presentation for your boss, do they call late at night saying they can't work with you? These instances are nearly always followed by some sort of excuse, which may or may not be lame. , Flakes often go back and forth about how they act towards you.
Do they have a 'hot-and-cold' behaviour cycle: one week you're their best friend, and the next they hate you? Do they send you nasty e-mails, then act like it's no big deal when you ask them about it? , Some flaky people will make rude comments about you and know that they will upset you.
Then they'll brush it off as a joke.
Do they communicate in one steady conversation, or in loose chatter? How often do they reply to your phone calls, texts, emails or IM's? When someone doesn't reply to your communication efforts (particularly urgent ones), that's another sign of bad time management skills.
If they're unable to communicate in one steady stream of conversation with you, they usually aren't taking the relationship seriously. (Or they're shy or have poor communication skills.) , Some flaky people have a certain group that they want to fit in to, and keep an eye on them when they're with this group.
Do they throw themselves into a conversation when there's a large group of people, and save talking to you when both of you aren't around others (like they're ashamed to be seen with you in public?) Do they treat other people like this? When they give you the cold shoulder, this may not be flakiness.
They may be shy, in a bad mood, have a disagreement with you, have poor communication skills or they might like you. , For the most part, it's possible to be friends with a flake.
They usually don't have an ego problem, and are easy to get along with.
It's possible to be friends with them, but the key is to not rely on them.
Whenever you rely on a flake for anything, the project will often collapse as soon as they drop out of it.
This is because you trusted them with a responsibility that they didn't follow up on, and then you have to make up for their load (along with yours.)
About the Author
Larry Diaz
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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