How to Discuss Politics With Your Lover

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Start with neutral topics.

   Instead of diving right into how each of you feels about abortion and same sex marriage, discuss how active you are politically.
   
   Talk about whether you vote regularly, if you keep up with current events and whether you like to get your political news from CNN, Fox, local stations or the Internet.
2. 2

   Step 2: Understand where politics fits into your lives and identities.

   Some people are very involved in politics and current events, and need to talk about politics frequently.
   
   Others prefer to focus on other topics and things that arouse their passions. , You are probably either someone who prefers to engage with people who share your opinions or you enjoy a political debate and have fun arguing over issues with others.
   
   Explain to your lover whether agreement or debate is important.
   
   It might be best for both of you to start off with open minds. , For example, discuss who each of you voted for in the last presidential election and why.
   
   Talk about whether you identify with one particular political party, or if the candidate is more important than the party.
   
   Discuss whether national politics is more important than local politics.
   
   Some people get excited over school board elections and others like to focus on larger, national and global issues. , Discover which issues you agree on.
   
   This can ease you into more complex political discussions. , Listen before you dispute something or share your own opinion.
   
   Let your lover have his or her chance to explain why a certain issue is important or hits close to home. , On some issues, you might find yourselves at opposite ends of the political spectrum.
   
   Do not try to change your partner's mind.
   
   Talk about why you feel the way you do, and be sure to give your partner the same courtesy.
   
   When you realize you are not ever going to agree on that issue, agree not to discuss or pick another topic to chat about. , Agree to keep some issues and discussions totally off limits if necessary.
   
   Try not to engage in personal attacks.
   
   Remember you are talking about politics, not each other.
   
   Keeping emotion out of the discussion can help you remain civil. , If, during the political discussion you feel hurt, disappointed, frustrated or attacked, say so. , It can help to talk about how you handled the political debate or chat.
   
   Celebrate what you liked about how each of you handled talking about politics, and figure out where you both got too emotional or angry.
   
   This will help your next political talk. , If you and your lover are moving towards marriage or something serious, you will need to evaluate whether political compatibility is necessary for a happy and successful relationship.
3. 3

   Step 3: Know yourself.

4. 4

   Step 4: Ask general questions about politics.

5. 5

   Step 5: Find common ground.

6. 6

   Step 6: Talk about which issues are most important to you and ask your lover what he or she feels most passionately about.

7. 7

   Step 7: Agree to disagree

8. 8

   Step 8: when appropriate.

9. 9

   Step 9: Set boundaries to protect your relationship.

10. 10

    Step 10: Share your feelings.

11. 11

    Step 11: Discuss the discussion after some time has passed.

12. 12

    Step 12: Think about where your relationship is going.

Detailed Guide

About the Author