How to Do One Thing That Scares You Every Day
Make a list of things that scare you., Start with smaller fears., Break bigger fears into smaller steps., Create a list of daily actions., Get help doing a task from someone you trust., Take the challenge with a friend or family member., Keep a...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Make a list of things that scare you.
Create an anxiety diary.
Anxiety diaries can be an effective tool for overcoming fears.
Grab a notepad and paper, and set aside some time for self-contemplation free from distractions.
Relax, let your thoughts wander freely, think of things that scare you, and write them in your pad.
You might think of a few things immediately, but if you give yourself enough time, you might come up with things you hadn't expected.For example, you might immediately write down public speaking and introducing yourself to new people.
After some deep introspection, you might realize that both are connected to being afraid of looking foolish or of being rejected.
Try to keep your diary with you as much as you can to write down your fear or anxiety as it occurs.
As you write down the fear, also record when it happened, and how it made you feel.
Take a few minutes in the evenings to review and reflect on what you have written.
Then, identify some small achievable goals to help you face and overcome these fears in the future.
Create a list of healthy coping skills that help you when you are faced with fear, such as listening to music, talking with someone you trust, and meditating. -
Step 2: Start with smaller fears.
Try not to avoid your fears.
If you avoid things, you’ll likely be missing out on important things in life that you want or need to do.
For example, you may have to give a certain amount of presentations at work before you're considered for a promotion, but you may have a terrifying fear of speaking in public.
You’ll likely come up with several simpler fears that you can attack with easy actions, like being afraid to try new foods.
If you start with smaller, more actionable fears, you'll be more likely to commit to doing something that scares you every day.
For instance, if you’re afraid to try eating fish, it’s relatively simple to go to a restaurant and order a grilled salmon salad.
If you are afraid of public speaking.
Take a public speaking class.
If you're not ready for that step, start small and join a special interest group, such as a small book club with people you don't know.
These groups usually are held in small, intimate settings.
If you're afraid of lakes or oceans because you cannot see what is underneath you.
Start small and just try going out onto a boat until you are comfortable.
When you're able to go further, get onto a raft.
Take your time.
Don't rush.
If it takes a few times to go from one to another, then that is okay.
Listen to your own intuitive instincts, but also try to utilize some healthy coping skills to help you work through your fears.
Eventually, maybe you can dip a toe in, or maybe a foot. , Your other fears might be larger and more complex.
Break those complex fears up into smaller actionable steps so they’re not so overwhelming.For example, suppose you’re afraid to ride a bike.
It might seem like an overwhelming fear at first, but you can solve it using clear steps: ask someone you trust to help you learn, use training wheels, and start riding on grass before pavement. , Making a plan ahead of time will help you purposefully put yourself in situations out of your comfort zone.
Set clear expectations and hold yourself accountable for completing particular daily actions.
Organize your plan using specific dates and times and give yourself a clear path to achieving your goals.For example, start planning your week out Sunday night.
Write specific actions such as, “Monday:
I will call John and try to resolve our disagreement.
Tuesday:
I will introduce myself to someone new and have a conversation with them.
Wednesday:
I will go out for lunch and try sushi for the first time.
Thursday:
I will start my new group workout class.
Friday:
I will participate in my weekly team meeting and bring up my new product design idea.” , Reach out to a trusted friend or family member who’s good at a task that you’re afraid to try.
For example, if you’re afraid to ride a bike or drive a car, think of someone you know and trust who’s a great bike rider or driver.
Tell them, “Hey, you’re a great driver.
I have a license, but haven’t driven in a while and I’ve been afraid to get back on the road on my own.
Do you think you have time two or three times a week to show me some pointers?” , In addition to helping you learn a task that scares you, a buddy can help you stick to your challenge.
Make a pact with someone close to you and agree that you'll both do something scary every day.
Spend time together once a week making your lists, then have a chat at the end of each day to talk about what you did.
If you or your buddy feel like backing out of a day's action, you could call each other to provide motivation.
If you can't find someone to take the challenge with you, ask a friend or family member for support and to hold you accountable.
You'll be more likely to complete your daily challenges if you have someone to pump you up and tell you to stick to your goals. , Set aside about 20 minutes a day to write about what you did that day that scared you.
Write down how you felt before you did the action, what you did, and how you felt afterward.You can look back on your experiences and use them as examples to help you do things that scare you in the future.
For example, you might have written, “Today I finally worked up the courage to talk to Sam.
I was really nervous at first and could feel my heart racing! It turned out to be easy, though.
I don't know why I was scared in the first place!” -
Step 3: Break bigger fears into smaller steps.
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Step 4: Create a list of daily actions.
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Step 5: Get help doing a task from someone you trust.
-
Step 6: Take the challenge with a friend or family member.
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Step 7: Keep a journal to track your actions.
Detailed Guide
Create an anxiety diary.
Anxiety diaries can be an effective tool for overcoming fears.
Grab a notepad and paper, and set aside some time for self-contemplation free from distractions.
Relax, let your thoughts wander freely, think of things that scare you, and write them in your pad.
You might think of a few things immediately, but if you give yourself enough time, you might come up with things you hadn't expected.For example, you might immediately write down public speaking and introducing yourself to new people.
After some deep introspection, you might realize that both are connected to being afraid of looking foolish or of being rejected.
Try to keep your diary with you as much as you can to write down your fear or anxiety as it occurs.
As you write down the fear, also record when it happened, and how it made you feel.
Take a few minutes in the evenings to review and reflect on what you have written.
Then, identify some small achievable goals to help you face and overcome these fears in the future.
Create a list of healthy coping skills that help you when you are faced with fear, such as listening to music, talking with someone you trust, and meditating.
Try not to avoid your fears.
If you avoid things, you’ll likely be missing out on important things in life that you want or need to do.
For example, you may have to give a certain amount of presentations at work before you're considered for a promotion, but you may have a terrifying fear of speaking in public.
You’ll likely come up with several simpler fears that you can attack with easy actions, like being afraid to try new foods.
If you start with smaller, more actionable fears, you'll be more likely to commit to doing something that scares you every day.
For instance, if you’re afraid to try eating fish, it’s relatively simple to go to a restaurant and order a grilled salmon salad.
If you are afraid of public speaking.
Take a public speaking class.
If you're not ready for that step, start small and join a special interest group, such as a small book club with people you don't know.
These groups usually are held in small, intimate settings.
If you're afraid of lakes or oceans because you cannot see what is underneath you.
Start small and just try going out onto a boat until you are comfortable.
When you're able to go further, get onto a raft.
Take your time.
Don't rush.
If it takes a few times to go from one to another, then that is okay.
Listen to your own intuitive instincts, but also try to utilize some healthy coping skills to help you work through your fears.
Eventually, maybe you can dip a toe in, or maybe a foot. , Your other fears might be larger and more complex.
Break those complex fears up into smaller actionable steps so they’re not so overwhelming.For example, suppose you’re afraid to ride a bike.
It might seem like an overwhelming fear at first, but you can solve it using clear steps: ask someone you trust to help you learn, use training wheels, and start riding on grass before pavement. , Making a plan ahead of time will help you purposefully put yourself in situations out of your comfort zone.
Set clear expectations and hold yourself accountable for completing particular daily actions.
Organize your plan using specific dates and times and give yourself a clear path to achieving your goals.For example, start planning your week out Sunday night.
Write specific actions such as, “Monday:
I will call John and try to resolve our disagreement.
Tuesday:
I will introduce myself to someone new and have a conversation with them.
Wednesday:
I will go out for lunch and try sushi for the first time.
Thursday:
I will start my new group workout class.
Friday:
I will participate in my weekly team meeting and bring up my new product design idea.” , Reach out to a trusted friend or family member who’s good at a task that you’re afraid to try.
For example, if you’re afraid to ride a bike or drive a car, think of someone you know and trust who’s a great bike rider or driver.
Tell them, “Hey, you’re a great driver.
I have a license, but haven’t driven in a while and I’ve been afraid to get back on the road on my own.
Do you think you have time two or three times a week to show me some pointers?” , In addition to helping you learn a task that scares you, a buddy can help you stick to your challenge.
Make a pact with someone close to you and agree that you'll both do something scary every day.
Spend time together once a week making your lists, then have a chat at the end of each day to talk about what you did.
If you or your buddy feel like backing out of a day's action, you could call each other to provide motivation.
If you can't find someone to take the challenge with you, ask a friend or family member for support and to hold you accountable.
You'll be more likely to complete your daily challenges if you have someone to pump you up and tell you to stick to your goals. , Set aside about 20 minutes a day to write about what you did that day that scared you.
Write down how you felt before you did the action, what you did, and how you felt afterward.You can look back on your experiences and use them as examples to help you do things that scare you in the future.
For example, you might have written, “Today I finally worked up the courage to talk to Sam.
I was really nervous at first and could feel my heart racing! It turned out to be easy, though.
I don't know why I was scared in the first place!”
About the Author
Laura Ferguson
Writer and educator with a focus on practical practical skills knowledge.
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