How to Find Out a Person's Gender
Ask for their name., Know that bathrooms aren't always a reliable indicator., Know that hobbies don't always line up with gender norms., Realize that their anatomy may not match their gender., Observe their hairstyle., Observe their outfit., If the...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask for their name.
If it's a clear "boy name" (like John or Martin), then they're probably a guy, and if it's a definite "girl name" (like Cynthia or Latisha), then they are probably a lady.
This isn't a foolproof assumption to make, as some names fit both genders (like "Sam" or "Pat"), and some people simply decide to call their child a name usually reserved for another gender. "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" "I'm Julia Reyes.
What's your name?" "Could you please tell me your name again? I want to make sure I've got it right!" -
Step 2: Know that bathrooms aren't always a reliable indicator.
If the person is transgender, but is early into their transition, they may use the wrong bathroom as a safety measure. (Transgender people are at serious risk of being assaulted in public bathrooms.) , Some women love dirt biking, and some guys sing along to Disney movies with a passion. , It's not recommended to base gender assumptions on a large chest or a square jawline, because you may be dealing with a masculine-looking woman, or a transgender woman who is trying her absolute hardest to be perceived as the woman she is. , Sometimes you can tell from the hairstyle the probable gender of the person you're watching.
If they have pigtails or a pony-tail, but not a 'cool' outfit, for instance, they're probably a lady. , Unless you suspect them of being 'cool' some outfits are give-aways of whether or not the subject in question is male or female.
Unfortunately, this isn't foolproof, as many outfits can be worn by either gender (especially "men's" clothes). , Thus, look for things they do intentionally: hair style, clothes, accessories, etc.
Consider these a better indication of their gender than physical features.
Misgendering a transgender person could deeply upset them, as they have to deal with this constantly, sometimes from people who want to hurt them.
Thus, it's important not to use a pronoun until you're sure it's correct.
Always refer to a transgender person by their chosen pronouns.
Choosing not to is incredibly hurtful and rude, and if you tease them about their gender, they may feel afraid that you'll attack them. , Find someone you can trust and ask them if they know the answer.
A good friend, a teacher, a parent, etc., are suitable people to ask.
This kind of question should be easy to handle. "Hey, I just want to be clear, so I don't accidentally misgender your friend.
What is Sam's gender?"
This is a surefire way to tell "man or woman," and if they don't identify as a binary gender (e.g. agender, genderfluid, etc.), then they can tell you which pronouns they would wish you to use, and what makes you both feel comfortable. "It's nice to meet you, Sam.
I'm Julia Reyes.
Might I ask what pronouns you are comfortable with?" If they seem confused, elaborate politely to make it clear that it's not a big deal. "Don't worry; I ask this to a lot of people.
I just want to make sure that I never hurt anyone's feelings by mistake!" -
Step 3: Know that hobbies don't always line up with gender norms.
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Step 4: Realize that their anatomy may not match their gender.
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Step 5: Observe their hairstyle.
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Step 6: Observe their outfit.
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Step 7: If the person is transgender
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Step 8: their physical features may not match their gender.
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Step 9: Ask someone else.
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Step 10: Take a deep breath and politely ask them what pronouns you should use.
Detailed Guide
If it's a clear "boy name" (like John or Martin), then they're probably a guy, and if it's a definite "girl name" (like Cynthia or Latisha), then they are probably a lady.
This isn't a foolproof assumption to make, as some names fit both genders (like "Sam" or "Pat"), and some people simply decide to call their child a name usually reserved for another gender. "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" "I'm Julia Reyes.
What's your name?" "Could you please tell me your name again? I want to make sure I've got it right!"
If the person is transgender, but is early into their transition, they may use the wrong bathroom as a safety measure. (Transgender people are at serious risk of being assaulted in public bathrooms.) , Some women love dirt biking, and some guys sing along to Disney movies with a passion. , It's not recommended to base gender assumptions on a large chest or a square jawline, because you may be dealing with a masculine-looking woman, or a transgender woman who is trying her absolute hardest to be perceived as the woman she is. , Sometimes you can tell from the hairstyle the probable gender of the person you're watching.
If they have pigtails or a pony-tail, but not a 'cool' outfit, for instance, they're probably a lady. , Unless you suspect them of being 'cool' some outfits are give-aways of whether or not the subject in question is male or female.
Unfortunately, this isn't foolproof, as many outfits can be worn by either gender (especially "men's" clothes). , Thus, look for things they do intentionally: hair style, clothes, accessories, etc.
Consider these a better indication of their gender than physical features.
Misgendering a transgender person could deeply upset them, as they have to deal with this constantly, sometimes from people who want to hurt them.
Thus, it's important not to use a pronoun until you're sure it's correct.
Always refer to a transgender person by their chosen pronouns.
Choosing not to is incredibly hurtful and rude, and if you tease them about their gender, they may feel afraid that you'll attack them. , Find someone you can trust and ask them if they know the answer.
A good friend, a teacher, a parent, etc., are suitable people to ask.
This kind of question should be easy to handle. "Hey, I just want to be clear, so I don't accidentally misgender your friend.
What is Sam's gender?"
This is a surefire way to tell "man or woman," and if they don't identify as a binary gender (e.g. agender, genderfluid, etc.), then they can tell you which pronouns they would wish you to use, and what makes you both feel comfortable. "It's nice to meet you, Sam.
I'm Julia Reyes.
Might I ask what pronouns you are comfortable with?" If they seem confused, elaborate politely to make it clear that it's not a big deal. "Don't worry; I ask this to a lot of people.
I just want to make sure that I never hurt anyone's feelings by mistake!"
About the Author
Patricia Armstrong
Enthusiastic about teaching pet care techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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