How to Get Good at Picking Up Girls
Go out often., Know how to stop girls properly., Be assertive with common sense., Recognize the level of interest from girls., Record yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Go out often.
Like any other skill, picking up should be practiced on a regular basis.
So going out consistently helps a lot.
Although, don't use 'going out often' as a crutch.
You can always start by going out consistently until it becomes second nature.
Then you can practice while grocery shopping, while you're walking around town, running errands, commuting etc.
So you don't have to dedicate special time to practice.
It is highly recommended that you read Cold Approach a Girl and Pull a Girl Home to get yourself started. -
Step 2: Know how to stop girls properly.
There will be many occasions when you will need to stop a girl to talk to her.
The way you stop a girl is quite important as it can distinguish you as being either creepy or confident.
When a girl or girls are walking towards you, start talking or wave at them while they are about 7 to 15 feet away from you.
Use common sense; don't start talking when they are too far away or too close.
This would not surprise them much and they would have enough of a time window to let their initial reaction subside.
For example, when you and the girl are walking towards each other, wave to her and say something indirect like "Do you know if there is a coffee place around here?" As per the social conditioning, she usually would stop.
Then you can tell her your intentions like "I am just kidding, I thought you are absolutely adorable and I had to say hi".
Or you can remain indirect on the basis of a response from the girls.
So calibrate.
Also, if you want to be more dominant, simply stand in front of her, as you give her a hand gesture to stop.
Make sure there is enough distance between you and her.
See if this works for you or not.
A humble smile helps a lot.
If the girl is walking in the same direction as you, then jog or run up to her, give her a light tap on the shoulder, and say "Hi".
This may still surprise her but it communicates confidence.
Alternatively, you can just walk up to her, until you are shoulder to shoulder, turn and say 'hi' and do your spiel.
Another way would be to call her from the back.
Say something like 'Excuse me' or 'hi'
and when she turns around then jog up to her and do your spiel.
When a girl is behind you and walking in your direction, then simply turn around and do your spiel.
Make sure there is an appropriate distance between you and the girl so you don't surprise her too much.
Stand your ground.
Don't follow the girl or walk backwards if she's walking away, despite your assertive request of asking her to stop, or after doing your spiel.
Stand your ground and let her walk away.
You wouldn't want to talk to someone who can't stop for a few minutes to have a conversation with you, although it's okay to walk with a girl if she genuinely seems to be in a hurry and/or asks you to walk with her. , Most girls like an assertive, commanding and leading guy.
It doesn't matter how confident or independent they are.
Its because of biological and evolutionary factors.
A majority of the girls, especially attractive ones, most likely, will not stop or have a conversation with you unless you are dominant and assertive.
So next time when a girl walks away from you, say something like, "Hey, wait! I am talking to you".
Use the "beckoning finger" or the "beckoning palm" gesture to call her back.
If you do it right, it will turn on a biological switch in her head and make her compliant.
If you are not assertive enough, you will most likely lose her.
This doesn't mean to force yourself to be assertive.
So use common sense and naturally calibrate as per the response from the girl.
Also, keep in mind that majority of the girls would not be interested in you due to the factors like being taken, personal choices or life situation etc.
Move on. , Girls can be categorized into three categories:
Yes. 'Yes' girls are those who are attracted to you from the beginning itself.
These are girls who are easiest to maintain conversation and go on dates with.
Unless you screwed up something, that attraction remains almost indefinitely.
Maybe.
These are those girls who are somewhat attracted to you.
To get them to be more attracted to you, you need to be polarizing from the beginning itself or they will lose interest.
Read Be Polarizing for more on this.
No Girls.
These are girls who are not attracted to you at all.
It is better not to waste your time and theirs, as most likely you are not going to get anywhere..
Some 'No' girls may flirt with you just to seek attention.
However do not take that seriously.
Majority of the girls will be 'Maybe' or 'No' girls. , It's quite important that you record yourself while practicing pickup.
Analysis of recordings will improve your social skills by many folds.
You will be very surprised how quickly it helps you identify your mistakes and sticking points of which you were unaware.
For example; body language, facial gestures, weird noises you make, up-talk (unassertive tone), neediness, supplicating behavior, etc.
In fact, it's so important to record yourself that without it you will, most likely end up ruminating for weeks or months or years; trying to figure out what you might be doing wrong.
You don't have to record every interaction.
Just a few recordings from time to time should be good enough to help you recognize your sticking points and mistakes you have been making repeatedly.
Before you go out and start recording interactions, ensure that its legal in your country or jurisdiction.
For example, recording someone without their consent is illegal in most states in US.If that's the case, do it at your own risk.
Audio recording.
Most smart-phones have a recording feature, so use yours as a recording device.
Just wear earphones as if you are listening to music, and turn on the recorder before approaching.
Of course, test it before going out to see if the voice quality is good enough for analysis, when recorded from different angles.
You can also use a digital recorder with a good quality mic for better sound quality.
Look it up on any e-commerce website.
Video recording.
If you want to go more advanced, you should have a friend video record you.
Before every approach, turn on your audio and signal your friend to start video recording.
It's pretty fruitful, as signalling makes it easier to sync audio and video while using a video editing program.
Or you can use spy or body cam.
But again, do it at your own risk.
Yes, it can make one cringe to listen and/or watch yourself, but that's exactly what you need to dissolve your ego as the truth will be right in front of you; if you are open to it. -
Step 3: Be assertive with common sense.
-
Step 4: Recognize the level of interest from girls.
-
Step 5: Record yourself.
Detailed Guide
Like any other skill, picking up should be practiced on a regular basis.
So going out consistently helps a lot.
Although, don't use 'going out often' as a crutch.
You can always start by going out consistently until it becomes second nature.
Then you can practice while grocery shopping, while you're walking around town, running errands, commuting etc.
So you don't have to dedicate special time to practice.
It is highly recommended that you read Cold Approach a Girl and Pull a Girl Home to get yourself started.
There will be many occasions when you will need to stop a girl to talk to her.
The way you stop a girl is quite important as it can distinguish you as being either creepy or confident.
When a girl or girls are walking towards you, start talking or wave at them while they are about 7 to 15 feet away from you.
Use common sense; don't start talking when they are too far away or too close.
This would not surprise them much and they would have enough of a time window to let their initial reaction subside.
For example, when you and the girl are walking towards each other, wave to her and say something indirect like "Do you know if there is a coffee place around here?" As per the social conditioning, she usually would stop.
Then you can tell her your intentions like "I am just kidding, I thought you are absolutely adorable and I had to say hi".
Or you can remain indirect on the basis of a response from the girls.
So calibrate.
Also, if you want to be more dominant, simply stand in front of her, as you give her a hand gesture to stop.
Make sure there is enough distance between you and her.
See if this works for you or not.
A humble smile helps a lot.
If the girl is walking in the same direction as you, then jog or run up to her, give her a light tap on the shoulder, and say "Hi".
This may still surprise her but it communicates confidence.
Alternatively, you can just walk up to her, until you are shoulder to shoulder, turn and say 'hi' and do your spiel.
Another way would be to call her from the back.
Say something like 'Excuse me' or 'hi'
and when she turns around then jog up to her and do your spiel.
When a girl is behind you and walking in your direction, then simply turn around and do your spiel.
Make sure there is an appropriate distance between you and the girl so you don't surprise her too much.
Stand your ground.
Don't follow the girl or walk backwards if she's walking away, despite your assertive request of asking her to stop, or after doing your spiel.
Stand your ground and let her walk away.
You wouldn't want to talk to someone who can't stop for a few minutes to have a conversation with you, although it's okay to walk with a girl if she genuinely seems to be in a hurry and/or asks you to walk with her. , Most girls like an assertive, commanding and leading guy.
It doesn't matter how confident or independent they are.
Its because of biological and evolutionary factors.
A majority of the girls, especially attractive ones, most likely, will not stop or have a conversation with you unless you are dominant and assertive.
So next time when a girl walks away from you, say something like, "Hey, wait! I am talking to you".
Use the "beckoning finger" or the "beckoning palm" gesture to call her back.
If you do it right, it will turn on a biological switch in her head and make her compliant.
If you are not assertive enough, you will most likely lose her.
This doesn't mean to force yourself to be assertive.
So use common sense and naturally calibrate as per the response from the girl.
Also, keep in mind that majority of the girls would not be interested in you due to the factors like being taken, personal choices or life situation etc.
Move on. , Girls can be categorized into three categories:
Yes. 'Yes' girls are those who are attracted to you from the beginning itself.
These are girls who are easiest to maintain conversation and go on dates with.
Unless you screwed up something, that attraction remains almost indefinitely.
Maybe.
These are those girls who are somewhat attracted to you.
To get them to be more attracted to you, you need to be polarizing from the beginning itself or they will lose interest.
Read Be Polarizing for more on this.
No Girls.
These are girls who are not attracted to you at all.
It is better not to waste your time and theirs, as most likely you are not going to get anywhere..
Some 'No' girls may flirt with you just to seek attention.
However do not take that seriously.
Majority of the girls will be 'Maybe' or 'No' girls. , It's quite important that you record yourself while practicing pickup.
Analysis of recordings will improve your social skills by many folds.
You will be very surprised how quickly it helps you identify your mistakes and sticking points of which you were unaware.
For example; body language, facial gestures, weird noises you make, up-talk (unassertive tone), neediness, supplicating behavior, etc.
In fact, it's so important to record yourself that without it you will, most likely end up ruminating for weeks or months or years; trying to figure out what you might be doing wrong.
You don't have to record every interaction.
Just a few recordings from time to time should be good enough to help you recognize your sticking points and mistakes you have been making repeatedly.
Before you go out and start recording interactions, ensure that its legal in your country or jurisdiction.
For example, recording someone without their consent is illegal in most states in US.If that's the case, do it at your own risk.
Audio recording.
Most smart-phones have a recording feature, so use yours as a recording device.
Just wear earphones as if you are listening to music, and turn on the recorder before approaching.
Of course, test it before going out to see if the voice quality is good enough for analysis, when recorded from different angles.
You can also use a digital recorder with a good quality mic for better sound quality.
Look it up on any e-commerce website.
Video recording.
If you want to go more advanced, you should have a friend video record you.
Before every approach, turn on your audio and signal your friend to start video recording.
It's pretty fruitful, as signalling makes it easier to sync audio and video while using a video editing program.
Or you can use spy or body cam.
But again, do it at your own risk.
Yes, it can make one cringe to listen and/or watch yourself, but that's exactly what you need to dissolve your ego as the truth will be right in front of you; if you are open to it.
About the Author
Betty Barnes
Experienced content creator specializing in hobbies guides and tutorials.
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